Work.

Being here for 2.5years going on 3 years. 

The only thing I hate about this company is mainly the people here. 

Honestly, in 2009, I was hired as a receptionist. I'm not anywhere close paid as a PA. 

I was then told back then what are my jobscopes. I did them all. So why is it that my boss can say I'm useless for doing what I'm supposed to be doing? 

I read something I shouldn't yesterday. And I believe that was true partially. 

G's twitter became public out of the blue and I happen to chance across it while browsing around. 

Then I saw that she wrote about K complaining to B about me. About how useless I am, always on MC and do wrong stuffs, want to fire me. G added that B told K of what I did to his younger brother and B asked G not to be too happy cause K want to fire me.

I am very unhappy and super dulan. 

1. Why am I useless just because he has a PA now and I'm back to doing my receptionist jobscope? 
2. I'm on MC, I was unwell and I stayed at home, I'm not going out to play. And for this almost 4 months, I only took 3 days MC. Always on MC? Why not say he's always not around and it just so happen that when he's around, I'm on MC? Dafug? 
3. How the hell can I do wrong stuffs when I'm not even doing his things anymore? It doesn't make sense. My jobscope is simple and chances of making mistake is close to impossible? So wtf? What I do wrong? 
4. B said I did something to his younger brother. FYI, I stop contacting B,H,J,L etc since more than half a year ago. I only remember the last time I was supposed to meet up with him, was before his Japan trip but in the end because he only want to meet after 12mn, I decided not to meet him. And the last time he talked to me was on the phone before he go to aussie and I rejected because I don't want to see them? B's younger brother called me on 15th feb from aussie and I didn't even pick up. Fb chat me and I never even reply. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO HIS BROTHER? Honestly WTF?! I don't get it. 

First of all, this motherfucking company is not small. This motherfucking company have fucked up management. This motherfucking company underpaid me. 

My employment letter was stated as receptionist. I'm told to do more than a receptionist, more like a PA/secretary. My boss abused vulgarities on me. My boss says I'm stupid in front of 60 people in the office. My boss's family contact me and ask me to do things including booking movie tickets? Making me pay and never pay me back? GREAT. Yeah, you know that's not the job of a RECEPTIONIST. But I still took it and do things for him. Until he got his PA about half a year ago then I didn't have to do his things. All these, was done without any additional pay raise. On top of that, I've always been feeling so stress about doing his stuffs. Especially when I started studying last year and I almost couldn't cope anymore.. Too much for me to take. So was it wrong of me to tell my HR that I can't take it anymore and seek her help to get a PA for K soon? 

Secondly, J's organisation. I stop going because it's purely a waste of my time and energy. I have school, I have work, I have my own commitments. Why is it that I stop going to J's organisation seems like I become a criminal? I don't have time for all the late meetings and events on weekend. I have classes and I don't want to waste my money going to school and in the end because of the organisation's things I fucked up my studies. Was I wrong to focus on my studies? B had to go school. B doesn't need to work and study at the same time. and you know what? What right do they have to say me when they know nothing about me? 

Fucking rich fuckers. 

If not because I want to get my PR, I won't be tolerating all these. 

I'm so tempted to show K what G wrote on her twitter and want to make clarifications. 

Asked for advises and was told that it's not a very wise choice. 

But I'm really provoked. 

Those bloody fuckers should just learn to mind their own business. 

Phew. 

Now I feel a lot more better. 

I've been so unhappy.

A Little Something.

Smile is the best medicine.

Kris, Lynn, Terry, Francis, Jek, Tai.

I don't say, doesn't mean I don't feel.

You know sometimes the problem with being who we are, hurts others in a way or another. It may not be directly but it just hurts. Queen always tell me never to use my heart to treat other people because not everyone will treat you with their heart. But Queen, you forgot that it was you who taught me to use my heart to understand a person. So how am I suppose to not treat other people with my heart? 

Mind over body or body over mind? Mind over body for me. I suck at this but this is just me. I always keep things to myself and until I can't take it anymore, then I let it all out. Queen always tell me that she's there for me, there to listen to me but sometimes I feel, there are things that I can't really tell her. Not because I don't trust her but because I know what she's gonna say is not what I want to hear. Selective hearing, yes. Everyone does that. I've not been very honest with myself for this one year. I've not been truthful to myself for this one year. And almost all the time, I tried to put on a smile. But I guess I'm tired doing that already. 

I have my Twitter to rant to. I have my private blog to blog about shits that happens, I have my best friends whom I tell almost everything to. But I always forgot about myself. I always forgot that end of the day, I only have myself. I only have myself to hold, I only have myself to answer to, I only have myself to depend on. 

People judge me and I never cared. People said I'm unreasonable and I never bothered. People said I'm willful and I can't be fucked. People said I'm difficult but who are they to judge? There's only one person who can judge me in this entire world. And that's none other than my Queen, the one who gave birth to me and raised me up. The one who spent my 23-going-on-24 years of life with me, teaching me the values of life and guiding me to walk the right path. The one who will be there to cry with me when I'm at my lowest point and the one who will be there to share with me at my happiest time. 

Other than her, no one in this whole wide world has the right to judge me. If anyone of you want to judge me, you can go ahead. Because I always believe in Karma. Karma's only a bitch if you are. You judge me now, Karma will make you pay double of what you've done. Maybe not on you but your kids/family in the future. 

I don't know how many people actually have dejavu but I do. And it really does happen. In this two weeks, two of my dreams became real. I always know that sometimes when I dream and I don't remember after I wake up, it will happen one day, it's just the matter of time. This two dreams, I had them early this year. I remember because the whole scene and place was familiar. Even the conversation seems planned. I hope dejavu stop knocking on my door cause I'm kinda freaking out by how many of them are coming true. 

And now it seems like surviving a day with two cups of coffee is do-able. 

One day, just one day. You'll regret what you've done at the spur of the moment. You'll regret saying what you've said and regret doing what you've done. Because you never realize that what you've done at the spur of the moment could cause what you never want to happen to be happening. 

How many people live their life with regrets? Plenty. 

And for once I feel, I've never regretted living my life the way it is now. 

You? 

She's a five when she drinks but she's a ten when she's on top of me.

Some time back, don't remember when. -.- 

First time playing Saboteur! (: SCOOPZ!

Shida!

Lynn Baby!

Sunday, after photoshoot.

This is one of the scariest I think!

Devils spinning. (:

Alright, let me just update in like, point form. -.- 

28th Oct 2011, Friday.

It's like Friday and it's Vernon's Birthday too. After work went to meet Sharon for dinner at Chomp Chomp together with Geoffrie and Rainy before heading over to The Chapter Entertainment. Was there for about an hour or so then Mic came to pick me up to meet the rest at Geylang for porridge. Didn't eat much cause I wasn't really hungry. After that we went to Chong Pang's Mac to chit chat etc and it was pouring like crazy. -.- Mic send me home at about 3am and I slept about 3:30? LOL Can't remember. Heh. 

29th Oct 2011, Saturday. 

Woke up at about 12noon. Slack at home, then get ready to go to school to meet Shida and the rest. Left home only at about 3:30pm? LOL. Went to get my threading done first before going to school to meet them for the last minute revision just about 1.5hrs before exam? The seating arrangement was fucked up. -.- names were missing and exam was delayed. -.- So my paper started 15mins laterrrrr! -.- Nevertheless, I finish my paper by 9pm and tadah, off to home I went. Suppose to sleep early but I guess I was feeling nervous for the photoshoot next day that's why I'm can't sleep. LOL And so I slept at 2am? 

30th Oct 2011, Sunday.

Woke up at 7am and started preparing for the shoot. Greg picked me up from my house at 9:30am. By the way, he was the one who shot me for the Clarke Quay one last year. Lol. We had Studio shoot this time and the theme is Sexy Cool. Will upload the photos once I get them. (: After that he sent me home and I took an hour nap before getting ready and going out to meet Boyfriend at TPY MRT to go to Tiong Bahru to meet  Geoffrie. Head to Vivo to meet Baby Lynn after and went to Food Republic for dinner. Waited for Stuart, Priscilla and Pris'c cousin to reach and we head to Sentosa for Halloween Night Horror. I swear I'm super amazed and impressed with USS. They made me go GaGa about the whole place! It's looks so different from the day time! And I love it! Though I was scared at the beginning but I got used to it and wasn't that scared anymore. Took a few rides. Went on the mummy and Cylon. Cylon was the first time and I swear the first free fall was the scariest. Worse than the zombies scaring me! -.- We went to both the haunted house and I hate the Peranakan one. The dark alley wasn't as scary to me. Haha. All in all, it was fun! Really. (: It was a really tired day. ): 

New week started and I started my new module as well. 

Having a lot of things in mind but I'm not sharing anymore.

11Nov is just next week and I still wish that day never existed.

I've been feeling rather down recently and I just don't really wanna let too many people know. I don't know but there are stuffs in my mind. :\ Sigh.

I'm lack of sleep and I've been feeling dead tired. T.T

Update soon.
Byebye!

When Will China Have Some Humanity In Them?

Don't doubt, it's my bruise. It's a heart shape. -.- Weird. And please ignore my hair. 

From Rainy. (:

Every bag have different crystal bits. I got Yellow and it says, 财源廣进. Money money come to mama. Hahaha. (:

So it's Wednesday today. Midweek. I've successfully made myself a nice sandwich for today. (: It has ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and a little bit of mayonnaise spread on the bread. Tadah, my yummy and filling lunch! I'm gonna make it a habit to make sandwiches for lunch every week like 3 times, alternate day. (: Unbelievably filling. It lasted me until 4:30pm! And now I'm munching on my apple. Haha. I'm feeling super healthy today! (: YAY. 

I have a lot of feelings in me recently. I'm thinking if I should make it go public or private. Maybe I should just leave all these feelings in my private because I realized, nobody really cares in the first place. I guess it's PMS time. Yeah, I guess I'm beginning to doubt. Doubt people, doubt words, doubt everything. Yeah.. Life.. I know. (: 

ALRIGHT! (: 

Let me stay focused. I need to study for my Econs. 

And nothing else really matter other than giving my family a good future. 

So yeah, I'm not gonna really bother and I'm gonna continue to care lesser. (: 

Time to pack up and get ready to school. 

It's a rainy day I hope it doesn't make me a gloomy me. (: 

Wanna play a game? (: 

Yeah, have I mentioned I like you? (;

Your time is precious, so is ours.

The poor 2 years old toddler from China. 

Anyone with a pure golden heart will not leave a girl of only 2 to die on the road with a pool of blood. Seriously. She's only the age of my Baby Jeorgina. If anything like this happens to Jeorgina, I'm ready to just kill anyone. She could have been saved if the first driver got down to take a look at her and bring her to the hospital rather than stepping on the motherfucking accelerator to flee the scene. He's a motherfucking bastard. This incident is in China. Great, my impression of China and their people has never been good. They're ruthless, they're cruel, they're heartless and they're uncivilized. Everything bad is them, this is my impression of them. They abuse animals. And now, seeing such a small kid being ran over, they don't help and still keep saying all those motherfucking lanjiao shits. ' Never see her ' ' my daughter is frighten so I left '. FUCK YOU ALL. CCTV SHOWED THAT SO MANY OF YOU NOTICED HER BUT NONE IS HELPING HER. Motherfucking heartless people. I hope China's population stop growing because even if they do grow but they don't help one another, they're just destroying a lovely life. Stop doing all these shits, China. You all have lost humanity. Seriously. I look down on you all, from the bottom of my heart. And I believe there are many of me out there feeling the same.