Society Turn Me Into A Different Me.

Not true? Money has always been a huge issue in life.
Whoever invented money, FUCK YOU.

Dinner with Mama.

My body has been constantly taking in medicine since the beginning of the year. 

I've been so conscious about my weight, my looks, my everything. 

I'm so scared my weight would keep going up.

I just want to maintain a weight that's so skinny so no one will have any chance to say I'm fat.

I've been so frustrated and angry with myself that my weight has been gaining, this is bad.

Whatever efforts I've put in to make myself slim earlier this year has all gone down the drain. 

Holidays were all too great for the past few months and I'm now suffering from all the holiday fats. 

I hate taking photos now cause my face looks so round and I just can't stand it. 

I hate looking at myself in the mirror cause I feel like punching my fat face. 

I hate looking into the mirror cause I see my fat thighs and arms and tummy. 

Yes, I'm going on diet again. 

And I'm gonna make sure this time round, after I've slimmed down, I'm keeping my weight on a constant and not going up again! 

People tell me I'm not fat etc. 

But to me, I am. 

So stop telling me what I should do to my body. 

I know myself and I know what I want. 

In fact I guess, it's the society that makes me want things like this. 

Take a look on the streets nowadays, whichever girl that is not stick thin is called or classified as fat. 

Whichever girl who doesn't have a sharp chin or can't see their collar bones or chest bones are called fat. 

Okay, so be it. I'm fat, and now I'm gonna do something about it. 

Trust me, in one month's time I will hit my desired weight. 

I feel ugly cause people are classifying girls who put makeup as ugly, trying to cover up their ugliness. 

I feel ugly cause people say faces with pores are.

I feel ugly cause people say those with scars or marks or pimples are. 

I FEEL I'M FAT AND UGLY. CAN?! 

Fucking depress now. 

I'm having my menses, bloated tummy (result in fat tummy), always feeling hungry (result in keep eating) and having pimples (cause by the syndromes of menstrual cycle). 

SO YES, I'M FAT AND UGLY. 

I'm feeling so moody, so angry, so frustrated, so fucking fucking annoyed by every fucking comments that's coming to me. 

Yes, seriously PMS. 

And the fucking running nose, sore throat, rise in body temperature and everything else have to come together at this moment. 

FUCK MY LIFE. 

I need some alcohol. 

I'm so frustrated. 

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! 

Feel like killing myself. 

I hate myself so much now. 

Seriously. 

I swear weight is a fucking major issue that caused my lousy mood today.

So those who have been saying I'm fat, THANK YOU. 

YOU OFFICIALLY PISSED ME OFF AND MADE ME GO ON DIET. 

Thank you!

I swear I'm gonna weigh myself everyday now. 

And I need my fucking Boyfriend's hug now. 

FUCK.