Oh Na Na, What's My Name?

PHOTOSHOOT AT BOTANIC GARDEN.

CREDITS: DENNIS LEE.

板 面 AT TOA PAYOH LORONG 5.

Elize

Boyfriend intro-ed this to me. <3!

Kris's.

MY LONG AWAITED POLAROID FILMS!

 100 colours and cartoon films! :D

From Koreaaa! :D 

 

I started my Monday morning like this. HAHAHA! 

Can you imagine how busy I'm getting? -.- Look at my freaking calendar on my iPhone! -.-

Yeah, I'm talking about ' what's my name '. Some, or rather most, of you don't really know what's my name. Yeah you call me KAT. Do you know KAT is just a short form of my name? If you do, good for you. If you don't, so much of being a friend. (: But it's okay. I don't normally tell people what's my full name unless you bother to find out from me. (:

Anyway, my name is Katrina. It's not a registered name in my birth cert because my mom would rather I choose my own English name. My Chinese name is 紫欣. Yes, if you don't know how to pronounce it, pronounce ' Purple Heart ' in Chinese. Haha. :D

I know this is rather random that I'm actually talking about my NAME. -.- I don't know.. Sometimes I feel, the people who knows me that well are actually limited. It's like they don't even really know the real me. Anyway, such people are all over the places so it don't really matters anymore.

It's not like these days people actually bother about how you feel and what you think. Because, I myself is like this now. Yes, selfish. But if I spare too much thoughts for other people, who's gonna spare a thought for me? Yes, we must give before we gain. But what makes others have the gain before they give? Why can't it be ME who Gain before I start giving? This is irony. Because it's unfair yet it seems rather fair. -.- It's like why can't it be like a two way thing? Like you respect me, I respect you, both at the first sight. Why must you be thinking ' I'm more senior than you, you need to show me more respect first, until I happy with you then I give you mine. ' Oh fuck you. This is 21st century. You need to EARN your respect, heard that before? -.- If you don't, you're rather lag behind. It's time you update your brain's software. You're outdated. -.-

If you had known me well enough, I'd probably a fun-loving, outgoing and friendly person to you. If you manage to get close to me, good for you. Because you get a chance to love me. (: If you don't, then too bad for you. Because you didn't get a chance to be loved by me. >.< I don't deny my first impression to a lot of people is that I'm very fierce and ' dao '. It's normal, I get that a lot of times. If you're saying that you're someone who needs people to approach you ( all the time ) first, then probably I won't be able to make friends with you. Because I don't like to feel unappreciated. -.- You want me to approach you first, you need to show your interest. -.- if not no point for me to do shits and I don't like it. If befriending me means you just want another person to boot lick you, to ' por ' you like a dog, sorry you've found the wrong person. I'll probably fuck you upside down because nobody owes you a living so you don't expect people to do that for you.

I'm talking about this today for a reason. Because recently I've heard a comment like ' Because you choosed Kat '.  Hello? Dear lady, I'm sure you're old enough to think. Old enough to handle your own stuffs. Old enough to know what's to be done and what's not. Old enough to know what's right and wrong. Old enough to know what's real and fake. I don't know if you're gonna be here again reading this blog but all I can tell you is, if you continue to think like this, you're hopeless. You need to learn, you haven't even start to grow. Though people told me you haven't experienced enough to learn and grow. You've never been hurt badly so you don't know what's hurt. Once someone told me ' She has never been in love, so she never go through as much as you did, you need to forgive her on this. ' Sometimes I pity you. Because you don't know what's love. My Queen told me ' 不懂爱的人很可怜 ' Yes, no doubt. All you know was to be possessive. And being that doesn't mean you're loving someone. If you love someone, you want them to be happy ( even though they might never be your lover ), loving someone means you'll be there when they fall, to hold them up, loving someone means you'll do what it takes, for them to learn to love themselves. Because only when someone start to love themselves will they succeed in loving others.

I tried, tried to make love and not war. That's why I didn't even want to bother. But a lot of negative comments are being passed to me about what they said about me. And yes, if you're asking me who am I talking about, it' none other than that few people in my office who likes to create these politic shits by being disrespectful to newcomers. -.- They think they have the power just because they have been in the company for long enough time or they are close to certain seniors in the company and thus have a backup. -.- This is stupid. I hate people like this. -.- I don't really wanna comment much. But if those people happen to read my blog and came across this, they will know who they are and I don't have to say anymore because they're guilty for all these shit. -.- You wanna outcast people, one day, just one day, Karma will fall on you. -.- And in fact, I think it is working on one of them already. (: She was being outcast by her department. And my question is ' So how does it feels to be sleeping alone in the hotel room when you have a business trip with your department? ' HAHAHA. I mean, does people have to make it this obvious that you're to be left out and sleeping in a hotel room all by yourself? -.- Okay, question. ' IF A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN DO/SAY THE SAME THING TO/ABOUT YOU, SO IS IT YOUR PROBLEM OR OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEM? ' Time to do some self reflections dude. You think you had everything you wanted, but you're losing all that you've had and soon enough, you'll have nothing left.

Sometimes, life is not just about trying all ways to get to where you want to be in the fastest pace. It's more of enjoying what you've to go through to get to where you want to be. So what if you get everything that you wanted? You're alone. You don't have anyone to be there to celebrate with you because you're rushing to where you want to get to. Whereas those who take their own time to slowly get to where they want to be have everything they're having and gonna have. You shouldn't have lose yourself just because you want to get to where you want to get to. Sometimes, I do sit down and start thinking ' Back 5 years ago on this day, where was I? What was I doing? What was I like? ' and I will start to compare what changed and what caused all the changes and what have I learnt all these years. Yes, it's a recap. Recap of what I've done, what gone wrong and how it's solved. Haha. Ironically, I do that. -.-

I mean I feel that it's good that sometimes we do that. No? (:

Okay, this is a rather wordy post already.
Back to where I was, yes, with not much efforts, I do hope nothing like the past will happen again.
Because one's patience is not to be tested like this. (:

Sometimes it's best to know your limits and stop pushing your luck. (:
It's not gonna do you good in long run.

P/s: STOP HIGHLIGHTING MY P/S! -.-