hahas. happy... firstly because I TALKED TO BEV AGAIN! nicely.. hahas. i love talking to him.. nicely.. hahas. feel so relax. hahas. (: no stress but laughters. hahas. whatever he said is so funny. (: of course, when we talk nicely lahh. he's the sweety pie of mine. hahas. (: (: (: (: (: *LOVES.
secondly.. cause.. i skated today. hahas. =D lols. life has been GREAT. other than missing his presence. hahas. the rest were perfectly GREAT. i love my life now. missing someone and.. being myself. (: hahas. this is the life i want.. hahas. enjoy my everyday.. hahas.
hahas. before i go work yesterday.. i was telling my mom about zac and chloe. cause i was told that chloe's gonna drive him to his camp.. then i told mummy. mummy laughed. and both of us is like, laughing together? hahas. like mother like daughter. I LOVE MUMMY! her birthday coming. hahas. and i guess me being who i am now is the biggest and happiest present she receive from me bahh. cause i'm happy almost everyday? HAHAS. gonna bring her out for dinner i guess. so not gonna spend too much i guess. MUMMY IS MY LOVE. (: also.. i talked to her about bev.. hahas. she wanna see him.. hmm.. very interested in him. hahas. lols. i'll bring him home.. IF only we're back together? which i don't know whether it will happen right now or not. haix.. well.. what comes may. (: i'm glad mummy accepted the presence of bev in my life and knowing the facts about zac. now.. i've got NOTHING to hide from my mom. hahas. she knows basically everything about me. (: hahas. relationship has got far much better for us. hahas. (:
well.. tuesday.. should be meeting eric for lunch and catching a movie together. hahas. if nothing goes wrong.. then will be meeting the ICIANS for round 2 celebration. hahas. skating i guess. hahas. (: lols. but before that should be meeting maria, wil, mel and james for dinner.. maybe at parkway? hahas. -i love them!- they're always with me. loves loves. they're the cutest creatures on earth.. INCLUDING BEV! (: hahas. tsktsk. hehees. then should be skating until late. hahas. thanks moomoo for celebrating my birthday.. (: hahas.
listening to '' love it when you call '' by The Feeling. hahas. cute. ya.. i love it when bev call. hahahaahhaas. hilarious eh? yes. okays. time to reply.. my girl.. (:
to: steph
girl.. i'm glad somehow.. we seems to be better.. (: at least you call me and stuffs. thank you for making me feel that this friendship of ours is still going strong. i love you! (: well, everyone has their bad times.. so don't expect yourself to be strong all the time.. i've been through so much with you.. don't hide yourself from me. i wanna know what's going on. we have our weak times and this is unavoidably. you should know this.. so don't hide your true feelings. and girl.. sometimes it's not good to always putting a strong front.. we want to be there for you too. it can't you the one who is always be there for us. we wanna love you the way you love us. if you don't know.. we want you to know now.. if you know.. please open upp and let us be there for you. cause we're best pals don't we? best pals laugh and cry together. don't cry alone.. don't bear the pains alone. we'll feel painful knowing this. we're here.. we've always been here. it's just one more step to reach us. you know.. as for you and john.. since you said you've given him a chance to explain.. then i have nothing more to say.. cause whatever it is.. i know both of you have your own reasons. and i don't wish to interfere much now.. least you think i'm influence by him or what. cause right now, what bothers me more is US. just the four of us. we love you and you know it. (:
ohh wells, didn't meet upp with daniel. don't feel like. skating is more important than him. hahas. but bev seems more important than skating. LOL. cause when i'm with him. i MIA from the rink. hahas. spending almost everyday out with him. it's only after he went back to australia then i go back to rink. LOL. so yarh.. he's in front of skating. HAHAS. -bleahs.
okays.. ADVERTISING TIME.
2ND JUNE SCANDALOUS AT PAVILION. CALL ME FOR TICKETS. TELL ME HOW MANY YOU NEED. I CAN HELP YOU GET. (: HAHAS. DETAILS WILL BE UPP SOON. (: (:
woohoo~~ i've been wanting to do this.. I DELETED ZAC FROM MY FRIENDSTER. HAHAS. (: yarh mann. (:
alrights.. i'm tired.. nights. bye all~
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
i had the most crazy and spastic birthday ever in my teenage life!!!!!! i love all of you!!!!! (:
A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!!! THOSE WHO CELEBRATED MY BIRTHDAY!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!! (:
HERE ARE THE PHOTOS I TOOK LAST NIGHT!! (: (: (: (: (:
HAHAS. nice? lols. i'm sooo happy last night. and the night would have been perfect if bev is around.. heard bev is gonna be back only in december.. how sad can that be. haix. but time can't stop me. hahahahahas. yupps. i will miss him.. think of him. i don't care if it's an obsession like he said.. but he's in my heart.. i'm very sure of this. (: and it's not gonna be easy for anyone else to replace him. HAHAS.
well.. bong treat me flaming lambo. open a bottle. treat me vodka with red bull. mel buy me beman coke. william buy me tequila pop. hahas. NICE! and i wasn't drunk. hahas. only feeling high. hahas. (: LOLS. how nice. danced like crazy.. played like mad. hahas. bev could have made the night better. cause.. HE'S BEV AND HE'S GOOD AT EVERYTHING. hahahahas. (: yupps. took quite a lot of photos. all uploaded to slide.com like i said. should be showing now. HAHAS. lols. okays. hmm.. yupps. after DXO went to james's house to slack. by right we're suppose to have a round two of drinking. but i'm too tired. hahas. so fell asleep at the couch. hahas. (: until around 7am then maria wake me upp. lols. by then bong and joel was at james's house already. HAHAS. i was told a little of zac and chloe's stories. FUNNY! hahas. can't help it but to keep laughing. hahaas.
ohh i saw zac yesterday.. at the rink when i was having my break. hahas. he looks damn funny. or rather should i say.. a little ugly? lols. i guess bev will still look hot. hahas. after he goes army. BEV ROCKS. yes he rocks. hahahahas. anyways.. i see zac like that.. hahas. we're like strangers. which i think it should be like this now. cause other than friend.. i can never treat him anything more than that. hahas. all the best to him and chloe. all i hope for now.. is HIM. hahas. lols. i had three wish for yesterday! and i hope they really come true. (: hahahas. -you wish kat!- hehees.
well.. i didn't have any hangover. hahas. which is damn cool. hehees. and i could still rememer how the flaming lambo burn my tongue!! hahas. pain lol. suck upp the flame. lols. bev.. come back and i'll treat you one.. hahahahas. celebrate your return.. HAHAS.
BERNARD YOU OWE ME A WATERFALL AND A BIRTHDAY KISS. lols. he said that himself. hahahahahahahahahas.
thanks daniel for asking me how's the party etc. it's fun. hahas. maybe i shall give you a chance to meet me later. hahas. walk around east coast chatting with you. hahahas. (: SEE MY MOOD. hahas. =D tsktsk.
okays. i'm gonna get ready to go east coast. (: bye all~
HERE ARE THE PHOTOS I TOOK LAST NIGHT!! (: (: (: (: (:
HAHAS. nice? lols. i'm sooo happy last night. and the night would have been perfect if bev is around.. heard bev is gonna be back only in december.. how sad can that be. haix. but time can't stop me. hahahahahas. yupps. i will miss him.. think of him. i don't care if it's an obsession like he said.. but he's in my heart.. i'm very sure of this. (: and it's not gonna be easy for anyone else to replace him. HAHAS.
well.. bong treat me flaming lambo. open a bottle. treat me vodka with red bull. mel buy me beman coke. william buy me tequila pop. hahas. NICE! and i wasn't drunk. hahas. only feeling high. hahas. (: LOLS. how nice. danced like crazy.. played like mad. hahas. bev could have made the night better. cause.. HE'S BEV AND HE'S GOOD AT EVERYTHING. hahahahas. (: yupps. took quite a lot of photos. all uploaded to slide.com like i said. should be showing now. HAHAS. lols. okays. hmm.. yupps. after DXO went to james's house to slack. by right we're suppose to have a round two of drinking. but i'm too tired. hahas. so fell asleep at the couch. hahas. (: until around 7am then maria wake me upp. lols. by then bong and joel was at james's house already. HAHAS. i was told a little of zac and chloe's stories. FUNNY! hahas. can't help it but to keep laughing. hahaas.
ohh i saw zac yesterday.. at the rink when i was having my break. hahas. he looks damn funny. or rather should i say.. a little ugly? lols. i guess bev will still look hot. hahas. after he goes army. BEV ROCKS. yes he rocks. hahahahas. anyways.. i see zac like that.. hahas. we're like strangers. which i think it should be like this now. cause other than friend.. i can never treat him anything more than that. hahas. all the best to him and chloe. all i hope for now.. is HIM. hahas. lols. i had three wish for yesterday! and i hope they really come true. (: hahahas. -you wish kat!- hehees.
well.. i didn't have any hangover. hahas. which is damn cool. hehees. and i could still rememer how the flaming lambo burn my tongue!! hahas. pain lol. suck upp the flame. lols. bev.. come back and i'll treat you one.. hahahahas. celebrate your return.. HAHAS.
BERNARD YOU OWE ME A WATERFALL AND A BIRTHDAY KISS. lols. he said that himself. hahahahahahahahahas.
thanks daniel for asking me how's the party etc. it's fun. hahas. maybe i shall give you a chance to meet me later. hahas. walk around east coast chatting with you. hahahas. (: SEE MY MOOD. hahas. =D tsktsk.
okays. i'm gonna get ready to go east coast. (: bye all~
Saturday, April 28, 2007
so sweet..
hahas. feel like blogging. lols. 11am. daniel message me and say that today is a lovely day.. and say i could start my day with a lovely and sweet smile. LOLS. sweet anyways. hahas. :) yupps.
yesterday something cock upp. i wrote an entry for steph.. but no where to be seen in the post. irritating!!! :( never mind. i'll write again tonights. now need to get ready for work. hahas
anyways.. thanks daniel. nice day to you too. :)
yesterday something cock upp. i wrote an entry for steph.. but no where to be seen in the post. irritating!!! :( never mind. i'll write again tonights. now need to get ready for work. hahas
anyways.. thanks daniel. nice day to you too. :)
shocking.. =_=
hahas. guess what? lols. see below first.. =_=
is this a confess? hahas.. actually i don't care.. cause krinze is just a friend to me. nothing more than that. and yes.. what he said was true also. that i won't like a guy like him.. cause right now.. my heart is occupied.. by bev. hahas. :) well, to see clearer.. right click on the picture and click "view image" this is the shocking part thing can? i've never expected him to say all these to me. hahas. but all i can say is.. i'm quite certain he won't stand a chance.. he can never replace bev. cause he's not bev. hahas. krinze is 25 this year.. well.. 6 years older than me. hahas. joke. hahas. never mind. 25 only reminds me of chloe. HAHAS. NOT BEV'S BABY SISTER HORS! bev's baby sister is far too cute than the chloe i'm referring to. i guess you all know who bahh.. if don't know.. go zac's friendster and see his featured friends. a girl named chloe. ahahas. that's her. his girlfriend. hahas. :) bev is on mine.. BOTH OF MY ACCOUNTS. <3
fennie's standard cafe latte and cafe mocha. hahas. :) new menu too. =D
done by me.. my first standard cafe mocha. :) nice? ahahas.
okays.. daniel has been calling and messaging me.. asking me out for lunch and stuffs. well.. not gonna give him this chance. hahas. see my mood. lols. no i guess. only bev.. only bev.. :) :) :) :) :) :) XOXOXOXOXOXO. :)
okays.. i'm tired lerx.. nights all..
anyways.. here is next week's schedule.
Monday : 3pm - closing (11pm)
Tuesday : OFF! [ it's my birthday! of course! :) ]
Wednesday : 1pm - 8pm
Thursday : 1pm - closing (11pm)
Friday : 1pm - closing. (1am)
Saturday : 11am - 6pm
Sunday : 10am - 6pm
total hours : 52 hours.
GOSHH. can you believe this? hahahahas. but good also lahh. :) nights nights. :)
is this a confess? hahas.. actually i don't care.. cause krinze is just a friend to me. nothing more than that. and yes.. what he said was true also. that i won't like a guy like him.. cause right now.. my heart is occupied.. by bev. hahas. :) well, to see clearer.. right click on the picture and click "view image" this is the shocking part thing can? i've never expected him to say all these to me. hahas. but all i can say is.. i'm quite certain he won't stand a chance.. he can never replace bev. cause he's not bev. hahas. krinze is 25 this year.. well.. 6 years older than me. hahas. joke. hahas. never mind. 25 only reminds me of chloe. HAHAS. NOT BEV'S BABY SISTER HORS! bev's baby sister is far too cute than the chloe i'm referring to. i guess you all know who bahh.. if don't know.. go zac's friendster and see his featured friends. a girl named chloe. ahahas. that's her. his girlfriend. hahas. :) bev is on mine.. BOTH OF MY ACCOUNTS. <3
fennie's standard cafe latte and cafe mocha. hahas. :) new menu too. =D
done by me.. my first standard cafe mocha. :) nice? ahahas.
okays.. daniel has been calling and messaging me.. asking me out for lunch and stuffs. well.. not gonna give him this chance. hahas. see my mood. lols. no i guess. only bev.. only bev.. :) :) :) :) :) :) XOXOXOXOXOXO. :)
okays.. i'm tired lerx.. nights all..
anyways.. here is next week's schedule.
Monday : 3pm - closing (11pm)
Tuesday : OFF! [ it's my birthday! of course! :) ]
Wednesday : 1pm - 8pm
Thursday : 1pm - closing (11pm)
Friday : 1pm - closing. (1am)
Saturday : 11am - 6pm
Sunday : 10am - 6pm
total hours : 52 hours.
GOSHH. can you believe this? hahahahas. but good also lahh. :) nights nights. :)
Friday, April 27, 2007
birthday celebration.. (: *loves.
3:03pm! i just finished packing all the things that zac has given me before.. and i'm leaving my house soon.. to his house.. to take my stuffs.. and return him all his stuffs. just like 2 and a half years ago. i return him his stuffs. yupps. my heart for him.. dies.. and i no longer can revive it. i've moved on.. so i'm not gonna let his stuffs to remind me of him. :) yupps. i don't wanna have anything of his with me anymore. other than the dolphin that uncle edmond help him buy from hong kong. hahas. i like that dolphin. and somehow.. that dolphin reminds me a little of bev.. :0 bev remember you said you wanna be my dolphin and want me to hug you? hahas. well, I REMEMBERED. hehees.
anyways.. my birthday celebration tomorrow. hahas. guess what? terry told me zac is coming out tomorrow afternoon.. and he might wanna go DXO. well, for fuck he go? he go with his friends is his problem.. but one thing for sure. i won't let him join in my birthday celebration. cause i don't need him to be there. hahas. if bev is in singapore.. he'll be the first one i'll invite to this celebration. i'd love to see him by my side on this special day. hahas. DXO.. is where me and bev first clubbed. memories eh? yes.. sweet memories. hahas. his memories is always sweet. yes.. hahas. i love his presence in my life. he brightens my whole dull life. :) *LOVES. xoxo.
today working at 6pm. but i guess i'll go down early. cause going zac's house first. then from his house go to east coast is quite fast. yupps. anyways.. called uncle edmond today. cause was telling terry about the dolphin.. reminds me of him. so called him. hahas. ask if he's skating or not. hahas. i guess next sat and sun i'll be skating cause i'm working until 6pm only!!! ohh loves. hahas. hehees. i must practice my soyal again.. hahas.
okays.. i have a feeling that i'm gonna take A LOT of photos tomorrow. hahas. yayy. will upload it to slide.com then make it into slide bahh. hahas. better than you take a super long time to upload my blog webpage. right? see i so nice.. hahas.
hahas. moomoo (steven, my coach) is talking to me now on msn. hahas.. telling me wanna celebrate my birthday.. hehees. so nice. I LOVE MOOMOO. hahas. hopefully can celebrate on next tuesday with ICians. hahas. but meeting maria and mel lehh. hahas. ask them come along. anyways maria ICian wadd. HAHA. I LOVE INLINE CULTURE!!!!!! IC rocks. loves loves. hehees. but still.. my heart hope for bev.. haix. never mind.. he'll remembers my birthday. :) yes he will.. cause he won't forget.. hahaas. i trust him. :) bev is trustworthy. -loves. hahas.
okays. gonna get change and leave my house ler. bye all. update again tonight. :)
anyways.. my birthday celebration tomorrow. hahas. guess what? terry told me zac is coming out tomorrow afternoon.. and he might wanna go DXO. well, for fuck he go? he go with his friends is his problem.. but one thing for sure. i won't let him join in my birthday celebration. cause i don't need him to be there. hahas. if bev is in singapore.. he'll be the first one i'll invite to this celebration. i'd love to see him by my side on this special day. hahas. DXO.. is where me and bev first clubbed. memories eh? yes.. sweet memories. hahas. his memories is always sweet. yes.. hahas. i love his presence in my life. he brightens my whole dull life. :) *LOVES. xoxo.
today working at 6pm. but i guess i'll go down early. cause going zac's house first. then from his house go to east coast is quite fast. yupps. anyways.. called uncle edmond today. cause was telling terry about the dolphin.. reminds me of him. so called him. hahas. ask if he's skating or not. hahas. i guess next sat and sun i'll be skating cause i'm working until 6pm only!!! ohh loves. hahas. hehees. i must practice my soyal again.. hahas.
okays.. i have a feeling that i'm gonna take A LOT of photos tomorrow. hahas. yayy. will upload it to slide.com then make it into slide bahh. hahas. better than you take a super long time to upload my blog webpage. right? see i so nice.. hahas.
hahas. moomoo (steven, my coach) is talking to me now on msn. hahas.. telling me wanna celebrate my birthday.. hehees. so nice. I LOVE MOOMOO. hahas. hopefully can celebrate on next tuesday with ICians. hahas. but meeting maria and mel lehh. hahas. ask them come along. anyways maria ICian wadd. HAHA. I LOVE INLINE CULTURE!!!!!! IC rocks. loves loves. hehees. but still.. my heart hope for bev.. haix. never mind.. he'll remembers my birthday. :) yes he will.. cause he won't forget.. hahaas. i trust him. :) bev is trustworthy. -loves. hahas.
okays. gonna get change and leave my house ler. bye all. update again tonight. :)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
seems like a new start.. is it? but my heart...
hahas. stupid title? hahas. recently seems to be knowing some new friends. daniel from beach hut. bernard from myspace. well.. guys.. i know. but as long as i'm not the one who approach them.. i think it should be fine. (: anyways it's good to enlarge my social circle. (: i guess bev would be glad to hear this.. right bev? xD hahas.
well, ya.. daniel ask me out.. for lunch.. and ask me out to chill at esplanade or anywhere i feel like going.. hahas.. hmm.. like i say no? cause i hardly know him. hahahahahahas. maybe one month later? hahas. lols. if the person who ask me out is bev.. the answer will be YES immediately. hahas. see the difference? lols. bev is always different from other guys in my eyes.. yes he is. and he will always be.. (: *loves.
anyways.. just read steph's blog and i feel heartache.
To steph:
girl.. you know i always try my best to turn upp for every meeting you organise for the four of us.. but recently.. i never hear any news from you all at all.. even when you got problems and troubles.. you never let me know.. like i told you before.. share your problems with me. i just wanna know what's going on in your life.. be it good or bad. i just wanna be part of it. to help you in a way or so. or maybe not but i wanna be a listening ear of yours. nowadays.. we seems to have lesser conversations and i'm worried. i want you to know.. there's someone out there.. waiting for you to approach her and tell her your problems.. please understand this.. i really wanna be there for you girl.. it's not about what John tell me.. it's my personal thinking. i just hope you both can give each other a chance to explain to each other. i don't hope to see both of you unhappy seeing each other. i know both of you have your reasons.. but why not give each other one last chance? to salvage this friendship.. anyways.. i just hope things gets better for the FOUR of us. rather should i say.. for both of us. and i know care and concern need not be shown. but all i wanna know is about what is going on in your life.. yes i know you read my blog.. and i'm glad you do. thank you. i do read your blog also.. but from your blog.. i can't really find out what's going on cause you don't blog in details. you no longer consult me. i no longer hear from you.. the feeling hurts. and i don't want this to go on. that's why i bravely blog down my feelings to let you know what i hope from you. girl.. i love you, you know. so please.. prolong the love i have for you by letting me know your feelings.. know your thoughts and allow me to share your problems.. you know i don't mind. so, don't try to put on a strong front in front of me. cause i don't. because i know, you'll always be there for me. and similarly, i hope you know.. i'm always there for you too. and you need to know.. sometimes if you don't say it out.. nobody will know what's on your mind.. i love you girl..
heartache after another. haix.. life.. how great can life get mann.. anyways.. for those of you who can't view my chinese words.. please go to " view " and then " encording " then " unicode ". yupps. then i think should be able to see lerx. (: haix.. glad that many people is celebrating my birthday with me on saturday.. but faris can't go. so sad. haix.. he's gotta work. if not, he'll go i guess. :( i doubt my girls are going as well.. all of them is always busy.. and i doubt my birthday this year, they have time to spend with me. even though it's a public holiday. who say public holiday no need to work? who say labour day no need to work.. well, now i say.. PEOPLE STILL HAVE TO WORK. haix.. well.. this is life. don't know lahh. i seriously hope my girls can be there with me. but.. but.. now, i can't expect much anymore. i guess i should just be contented that they still remembers my birthday. yarh..
the people i hope most to be with me on my birthday.. is not here. well, all of you know who.. but i know.. he has his reason. and i don't blame him. (: i'll be happy enough just to know he remembers my birthday. (: maybe just a call to wish me is good enough. hahas. hearing his voice is good enough lahh. i don't expect much from him. i'll enjoy my night with my friends on DXO. (: hahas. MEL!! THANK YOU WOMAN. I LOVE YOU. HAHAS. thanks for trying to book the VIP room for me.. it's okay if you cannot. we'll sit somewhere else. hahas. anyways.. drink with me babe. GET HIGH GET HIGH. (: hahas. BONG! don't get me drunk please. hahas. no smashing of cake on my face please.. i know i'm ugly.. so don't make me uglier. hehees. (:
really glad so many of them is going.. thank you all of you. ERIC!!!! you're going. and treat me drink you neh neh. hahas. (: yes you will. right? love you! (: hahas. for the drinks. hoorayy!! i wanna spend this special day with all of you.. hmm.. now me and mel is contemplating whether to go james's house after that to drink or not.. hmm.. maybe after the party?? hahahas. what if we go there all of them drunk and no one opens the door for us? :( so sad lahh can.. :( hahas. i don't wanna be stuck outside!!
and!!!!!!!!!! i'm having my menses. so don't provoke me. hahas. -moody easily. hahahahas. (: okays. i'm going already. play around with my friendster and myspace.. HAHAS. (: byes all ~
well, ya.. daniel ask me out.. for lunch.. and ask me out to chill at esplanade or anywhere i feel like going.. hahas.. hmm.. like i say no? cause i hardly know him. hahahahahahas. maybe one month later? hahas. lols. if the person who ask me out is bev.. the answer will be YES immediately. hahas. see the difference? lols. bev is always different from other guys in my eyes.. yes he is. and he will always be.. (: *loves.
anyways.. just read steph's blog and i feel heartache.
To steph:
girl.. you know i always try my best to turn upp for every meeting you organise for the four of us.. but recently.. i never hear any news from you all at all.. even when you got problems and troubles.. you never let me know.. like i told you before.. share your problems with me. i just wanna know what's going on in your life.. be it good or bad. i just wanna be part of it. to help you in a way or so. or maybe not but i wanna be a listening ear of yours. nowadays.. we seems to have lesser conversations and i'm worried. i want you to know.. there's someone out there.. waiting for you to approach her and tell her your problems.. please understand this.. i really wanna be there for you girl.. it's not about what John tell me.. it's my personal thinking. i just hope you both can give each other a chance to explain to each other. i don't hope to see both of you unhappy seeing each other. i know both of you have your reasons.. but why not give each other one last chance? to salvage this friendship.. anyways.. i just hope things gets better for the FOUR of us. rather should i say.. for both of us. and i know care and concern need not be shown. but all i wanna know is about what is going on in your life.. yes i know you read my blog.. and i'm glad you do. thank you. i do read your blog also.. but from your blog.. i can't really find out what's going on cause you don't blog in details. you no longer consult me. i no longer hear from you.. the feeling hurts. and i don't want this to go on. that's why i bravely blog down my feelings to let you know what i hope from you. girl.. i love you, you know. so please.. prolong the love i have for you by letting me know your feelings.. know your thoughts and allow me to share your problems.. you know i don't mind. so, don't try to put on a strong front in front of me. cause i don't. because i know, you'll always be there for me. and similarly, i hope you know.. i'm always there for you too. and you need to know.. sometimes if you don't say it out.. nobody will know what's on your mind.. i love you girl..
heartache after another. haix.. life.. how great can life get mann.. anyways.. for those of you who can't view my chinese words.. please go to " view " and then " encording " then " unicode ". yupps. then i think should be able to see lerx. (: haix.. glad that many people is celebrating my birthday with me on saturday.. but faris can't go. so sad. haix.. he's gotta work. if not, he'll go i guess. :( i doubt my girls are going as well.. all of them is always busy.. and i doubt my birthday this year, they have time to spend with me. even though it's a public holiday. who say public holiday no need to work? who say labour day no need to work.. well, now i say.. PEOPLE STILL HAVE TO WORK. haix.. well.. this is life. don't know lahh. i seriously hope my girls can be there with me. but.. but.. now, i can't expect much anymore. i guess i should just be contented that they still remembers my birthday. yarh..
the people i hope most to be with me on my birthday.. is not here. well, all of you know who.. but i know.. he has his reason. and i don't blame him. (: i'll be happy enough just to know he remembers my birthday. (: maybe just a call to wish me is good enough. hahas. hearing his voice is good enough lahh. i don't expect much from him. i'll enjoy my night with my friends on DXO. (: hahas. MEL!! THANK YOU WOMAN. I LOVE YOU. HAHAS. thanks for trying to book the VIP room for me.. it's okay if you cannot. we'll sit somewhere else. hahas. anyways.. drink with me babe. GET HIGH GET HIGH. (: hahas. BONG! don't get me drunk please. hahas. no smashing of cake on my face please.. i know i'm ugly.. so don't make me uglier. hehees. (:
really glad so many of them is going.. thank you all of you. ERIC!!!! you're going. and treat me drink you neh neh. hahas. (: yes you will. right? love you! (: hahas. for the drinks. hoorayy!! i wanna spend this special day with all of you.. hmm.. now me and mel is contemplating whether to go james's house after that to drink or not.. hmm.. maybe after the party?? hahahas. what if we go there all of them drunk and no one opens the door for us? :( so sad lahh can.. :( hahas. i don't wanna be stuck outside!!
and!!!!!!!!!! i'm having my menses. so don't provoke me. hahas. -moody easily. hahahahas. (: okays. i'm going already. play around with my friendster and myspace.. HAHAS. (: byes all ~
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
tears is taking over me.
12.51pm. zac just finish messaging me.. this is what we talked. before that was he send me a message yesterday..
zac : i know it's over but.. happy 57month anni.. stay happy..
kat : glad you know it's over. so no need to say to me. chloe won't like it if she know.
this is what i send him last night. and just now he reply me saying..
zac : she wont mind. i told her im still thinking of u.
kat : so what? just leave me alone and be with her.
zac : ok. wont bother u anymore. but still hope to meet u up for a drink. hope everything will turn up good to u and me.
kat : what do you mean by good for you and me? do you know one rule of dating another person is not to even mention your ex? it's because of you, now i lose bevan. why are you still so insensitive? i won't meet you anymore in the future, other than seeing you at rink.
zac : sorry my fault. i apologize for that.
kat : no need. i don't need anymore things from you. just don' ask to meet me or whatever anymore. take care and bye. no need to reply.
and it ended here. zac make me feel that he's playing with chloe though. but whatever it is.. i don't care. he shouldn't even be contacting me right now. i made it so clear. and i hope he know what i really wants now. and after the third message i reply. i throw myself into a pool of tears. cause that's what bevan said to me. it's because i told him i still love another guy when i was with him that's why he gave up. i couldn't stop my tears. my heart hurts so much. if i could turn back time right now. i wanna go back to the moments that i told bev i still love zac. i wanna tell him i love him instead. if i had been more sensitive.. this won't happen. and if i had been more harsh to zac and allow bev to called the police that time.. this will not happen. bev.. i'm sorry. but what can a sorry do? it can never turn back to the time when me and bev is so close.. so loving. it will never..
okays.. time to dry my tears and get ready for work. bye all.. it's 1:06pm now.
zac : i know it's over but.. happy 57month anni.. stay happy..
kat : glad you know it's over. so no need to say to me. chloe won't like it if she know.
this is what i send him last night. and just now he reply me saying..
zac : she wont mind. i told her im still thinking of u.
kat : so what? just leave me alone and be with her.
zac : ok. wont bother u anymore. but still hope to meet u up for a drink. hope everything will turn up good to u and me.
kat : what do you mean by good for you and me? do you know one rule of dating another person is not to even mention your ex? it's because of you, now i lose bevan. why are you still so insensitive? i won't meet you anymore in the future, other than seeing you at rink.
zac : sorry my fault. i apologize for that.
kat : no need. i don't need anymore things from you. just don' ask to meet me or whatever anymore. take care and bye. no need to reply.
and it ended here. zac make me feel that he's playing with chloe though. but whatever it is.. i don't care. he shouldn't even be contacting me right now. i made it so clear. and i hope he know what i really wants now. and after the third message i reply. i throw myself into a pool of tears. cause that's what bevan said to me. it's because i told him i still love another guy when i was with him that's why he gave up. i couldn't stop my tears. my heart hurts so much. if i could turn back time right now. i wanna go back to the moments that i told bev i still love zac. i wanna tell him i love him instead. if i had been more sensitive.. this won't happen. and if i had been more harsh to zac and allow bev to called the police that time.. this will not happen. bev.. i'm sorry. but what can a sorry do? it can never turn back to the time when me and bev is so close.. so loving. it will never..
okays.. time to dry my tears and get ready for work. bye all.. it's 1:06pm now.
它又掉下了..
很情不自紧的。。我掉了眼泪。。心情好低落。。心情好难过。。叫我该怎么办？有谁能告诉我？我要答案。。能够得到吗？要怎样才会让自己开心？要怎样才能让自己不想？要怎样才能让自己不感觉辛苦？不感觉痛苦？只有他。。只有他能让我开心。。可是。。他呢？他在哪里？他能回到我身边吗？我能得到答案吗？我好象走到了悬崖边境。。不知道该往哪个方向前去。。心好难受。。有人能帮我吗？可是我心里希望的人。。只有他。。
tell me.. what should i do? i feel so unhappy.. everyday.. i'm trying hard to live everyday happily.. but it seems to be hard since that day bev talked to me. his words.. keep going through my mind. i feel hurt every time it goes through my mind. i don't want this. can someone just tell me what he told me was just because he don't want me to miss him so much? not because he really wanna give up? tell me i'm never a fling in his eyes. tell me he don't meant what he say.. but.. after all.. i just hope to hear him telling me these himself.. only he can stop me from thinking. stop me from being sad. i don't need anyone else.. yes i don't need. i need bev..
i think i'm at my own wishful part of thinking. 我在自做多情吗？ feeling stupid.. feeling really stupid. i'm with him for such a short period of time and yet i can't get him out of my mind.. now i know what it meant by time dont matters. what matters is the feelings. it's true.. really true. i, towards bev.. is having this feeling now. well, for those of you who read my blog and feel sorry for zac.. all i can tell you is.. you're not me, so don't assume you've gone through what i've gone through. and if you really wanna feel what i've gone through.. try to be zac's girlfriend.. and you'll know why.. but now, it don't matters to me anymore.. cause i give upp.. give upp hope on zac. i no longer pin hopes on him. my hopes has gone to the guy from far away.. the guy.. who has brought me lots of happiness when i was with him.. i hate myself.. hate myself for losing him. hate myself for giving upp the trust and hopes he once placed on me. i miss the days with him.. i miss having him in my arms.. i miss having him by my side.. i miss when i wake upp, he's the first person i see.. i miss being next to him.. i miss holding his hand. i miss his everything. talking to me gently.. treating me like his little baby.. caring about me.. loving me.. his non-stop sms-ing me. if only i had been harsh to zac. i should have done this long ago.. i should have been harsh long ago. i should have listen to steph. bev.. i really missed you.. 我可以再抱你吗？ you are the one i wanna have in my arms now.. no one else...
AND ZAC.. STOP SENDING ME THOSE MESSAGES WHICH I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE. STOP TELLING ME YOU WANNA MEET ME AND STOP WISHING ME HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. WE'RE OVER. STOP EVERYTHING BEFORE I FEEL IRRITATED BY YOU. I KINDA HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR CALLS AND MESSAGES. JUST BE WITH YOUR CHLOE AND LEAVE ME ALONE. DON'T BUG ME ANYMORE.
sorry.. i feel irritated by zac cause he wished me happy anniversary today.. yes i know it's 24th. so? you think i fucking give a fuck about the number 24 now? i don't give a fucking shit anymore. so fucking just leave that fucking 24 aside. don't keep telling me happy anniversary or whatever fucking shit. i don't give a fucking damn. and please don't fucking blog down in your fucking blog saying that "your love one is loving another guy so deeply" or whatever fucking shit. don't fucking mess with my life. and listen.. I GIVE UPP ON YOU. I NO LONGER WANT YOU. you always tell aunty felicia i don't want you. NOW YOUR WISH COME TRUE. so fucking stop all the fucking craps you're fucking giving me now. i don't fucking wanna hear anymore things from you. don't force me to ignore you for the rest of my life. leave me to lead my own life and you lead yours with your chloe. don't fucking expect us to patch or whatever shit. i don't care anymore. cause I TOTALLY GIVE UPP ON YOU. and stop doing those fucking stupid things like fucking crying and fucking drinking. if you don't love yourself.. nobody will fucking love you.. especially the way you lead your life. so many things to do yet you fucking do stupid things. don't be a fucking retard and do those retarded things. and DON'T FUCKING TAG MY TAGBOARD. CAUSE I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR NAME IN IT. clear enough of what i want from you? -leave me alone.
recently.. i have a lot of feelings i wanna blog down.. but because i consider her feelings.. consider her sensitiveness.. i dare not blog down.. but now, i think i have the need to blog down.. i wanna salvage this friendship. the friendship which i've been wanting since last time.. and i cherish a lot.
to steph :
don't know why.. i felt our distance started to drift apart.. is it because i'm working at gelare? is it because of other things? or is it because i didn't meet your expectations? can you tell me what's going on? do you know i feel SUPER LEFT OUT among the four of us now???? we no longer seems to be four now.. it's more of THE THREE OF YOU. rather than FOUR OF US.. and recently.. or rather should i say after i started working at gelare.. the talks we have is getting much lesser as compared to last time. i don't know why is there such a big contrast.. but i wanna know why. i seriously wanna know. you know me well enough. you should know what will happen if i no longer can take it. your attitude towards me seems to be getting worse. can you please give me an explanation? can you say something? is it because you don't want me to work in gelare? if so, let me know. I'LL QUIT, FOR YOU. i don't care about job. my friends are more important than that. 3 years of friendship can never be replaced by a fucking job. and steph, you said john isn't sensitive enough to other people.. but are you? yes you may be sensitive.. towards some people. and i admit i'm one person like this. i'm only sensitive towards people who meant a lot to me. and the rest.. i could just hack care. but you're one person whom i'll take note of your sensitiveness towards what i said to you. it's never easy to satisfy everyone. you said this. but do you know john also won't have the ability to satisfy everyone? so am i.. so is everyone. do you know it hurts knowing that one is talking behind their back? everyone make mistakes.. do we actually give them a second chance to show that they really know they're at fault? to show that they really repent? do you know i feel stress working with you now? you make me feel that you're competing with me. which i don't even fucking want. sorry. i'm not in good mood.. pardon me my harsh words. cause i really care.. that's why i'm pissed.. so now, girl, i need you to tell me what's going on.. i don't like to be kept in the dark. you know me well enough. so, tell me everything.. before we lose this friendship.
what's happening? my friendship is like.. fucking not right.. and i wanna correct it!!! ARGHH!!!!!!! feeling damn moody. forget it. i'm gonna stop it. stop blogging and have a good sleep. GOODNIGHTS! BYE!
anyways, thank you to those who is willing to celebrate my birthday with me on saturday at DXO. love you guys plenty plenty. hope i have a very good night out with all of you. :) thanks nicole, trevor, faris, terry, bong, kelvin, eric.. and many more. plenty of them. love all of you for being there. all of you is the best.. :) it'd be better if bev is here. haix... never mind. a wishing from him is good enough. hope he remembers when is my birthday. bev, do you?
tell me.. what should i do? i feel so unhappy.. everyday.. i'm trying hard to live everyday happily.. but it seems to be hard since that day bev talked to me. his words.. keep going through my mind. i feel hurt every time it goes through my mind. i don't want this. can someone just tell me what he told me was just because he don't want me to miss him so much? not because he really wanna give up? tell me i'm never a fling in his eyes. tell me he don't meant what he say.. but.. after all.. i just hope to hear him telling me these himself.. only he can stop me from thinking. stop me from being sad. i don't need anyone else.. yes i don't need. i need bev..
i think i'm at my own wishful part of thinking. 我在自做多情吗？ feeling stupid.. feeling really stupid. i'm with him for such a short period of time and yet i can't get him out of my mind.. now i know what it meant by time dont matters. what matters is the feelings. it's true.. really true. i, towards bev.. is having this feeling now. well, for those of you who read my blog and feel sorry for zac.. all i can tell you is.. you're not me, so don't assume you've gone through what i've gone through. and if you really wanna feel what i've gone through.. try to be zac's girlfriend.. and you'll know why.. but now, it don't matters to me anymore.. cause i give upp.. give upp hope on zac. i no longer pin hopes on him. my hopes has gone to the guy from far away.. the guy.. who has brought me lots of happiness when i was with him.. i hate myself.. hate myself for losing him. hate myself for giving upp the trust and hopes he once placed on me. i miss the days with him.. i miss having him in my arms.. i miss having him by my side.. i miss when i wake upp, he's the first person i see.. i miss being next to him.. i miss holding his hand. i miss his everything. talking to me gently.. treating me like his little baby.. caring about me.. loving me.. his non-stop sms-ing me. if only i had been harsh to zac. i should have done this long ago.. i should have been harsh long ago. i should have listen to steph. bev.. i really missed you.. 我可以再抱你吗？ you are the one i wanna have in my arms now.. no one else...
AND ZAC.. STOP SENDING ME THOSE MESSAGES WHICH I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE. STOP TELLING ME YOU WANNA MEET ME AND STOP WISHING ME HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. WE'RE OVER. STOP EVERYTHING BEFORE I FEEL IRRITATED BY YOU. I KINDA HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR CALLS AND MESSAGES. JUST BE WITH YOUR CHLOE AND LEAVE ME ALONE. DON'T BUG ME ANYMORE.
sorry.. i feel irritated by zac cause he wished me happy anniversary today.. yes i know it's 24th. so? you think i fucking give a fuck about the number 24 now? i don't give a fucking shit anymore. so fucking just leave that fucking 24 aside. don't keep telling me happy anniversary or whatever fucking shit. i don't give a fucking damn. and please don't fucking blog down in your fucking blog saying that "your love one is loving another guy so deeply" or whatever fucking shit. don't fucking mess with my life. and listen.. I GIVE UPP ON YOU. I NO LONGER WANT YOU. you always tell aunty felicia i don't want you. NOW YOUR WISH COME TRUE. so fucking stop all the fucking craps you're fucking giving me now. i don't fucking wanna hear anymore things from you. don't force me to ignore you for the rest of my life. leave me to lead my own life and you lead yours with your chloe. don't fucking expect us to patch or whatever shit. i don't care anymore. cause I TOTALLY GIVE UPP ON YOU. and stop doing those fucking stupid things like fucking crying and fucking drinking. if you don't love yourself.. nobody will fucking love you.. especially the way you lead your life. so many things to do yet you fucking do stupid things. don't be a fucking retard and do those retarded things. and DON'T FUCKING TAG MY TAGBOARD. CAUSE I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR NAME IN IT. clear enough of what i want from you? -leave me alone.
recently.. i have a lot of feelings i wanna blog down.. but because i consider her feelings.. consider her sensitiveness.. i dare not blog down.. but now, i think i have the need to blog down.. i wanna salvage this friendship. the friendship which i've been wanting since last time.. and i cherish a lot.
to steph :
don't know why.. i felt our distance started to drift apart.. is it because i'm working at gelare? is it because of other things? or is it because i didn't meet your expectations? can you tell me what's going on? do you know i feel SUPER LEFT OUT among the four of us now???? we no longer seems to be four now.. it's more of THE THREE OF YOU. rather than FOUR OF US.. and recently.. or rather should i say after i started working at gelare.. the talks we have is getting much lesser as compared to last time. i don't know why is there such a big contrast.. but i wanna know why. i seriously wanna know. you know me well enough. you should know what will happen if i no longer can take it. your attitude towards me seems to be getting worse. can you please give me an explanation? can you say something? is it because you don't want me to work in gelare? if so, let me know. I'LL QUIT, FOR YOU. i don't care about job. my friends are more important than that. 3 years of friendship can never be replaced by a fucking job. and steph, you said john isn't sensitive enough to other people.. but are you? yes you may be sensitive.. towards some people. and i admit i'm one person like this. i'm only sensitive towards people who meant a lot to me. and the rest.. i could just hack care. but you're one person whom i'll take note of your sensitiveness towards what i said to you. it's never easy to satisfy everyone. you said this. but do you know john also won't have the ability to satisfy everyone? so am i.. so is everyone. do you know it hurts knowing that one is talking behind their back? everyone make mistakes.. do we actually give them a second chance to show that they really know they're at fault? to show that they really repent? do you know i feel stress working with you now? you make me feel that you're competing with me. which i don't even fucking want. sorry. i'm not in good mood.. pardon me my harsh words. cause i really care.. that's why i'm pissed.. so now, girl, i need you to tell me what's going on.. i don't like to be kept in the dark. you know me well enough. so, tell me everything.. before we lose this friendship.
what's happening? my friendship is like.. fucking not right.. and i wanna correct it!!! ARGHH!!!!!!! feeling damn moody. forget it. i'm gonna stop it. stop blogging and have a good sleep. GOODNIGHTS! BYE!
anyways, thank you to those who is willing to celebrate my birthday with me on saturday at DXO. love you guys plenty plenty. hope i have a very good night out with all of you. :) thanks nicole, trevor, faris, terry, bong, kelvin, eric.. and many more. plenty of them. love all of you for being there. all of you is the best.. :) it'd be better if bev is here. haix... never mind. a wishing from him is good enough. hope he remembers when is my birthday. bev, do you?
Monday, April 23, 2007
感觉..
每当一个人，一个曾经告诉你他会一直在你身边的人，说他再也不喜欢你了。。 再也对你不再有期待。。不再有期望。。告诉你他放弃了。。你的感觉会是如何？
tell me, how does i feel.. when this happen to you.. i was moody today.. very moody.. but i don't wanna show everyone my moodiness.... so i pretend nothing happened.. bev talked to me.. and.. something happened.. so i was moody. maybe he's right. i'm obsess with him. yes i like him. i don't deny. i don't know what i should do now.. he ask me to give upp. but i know i don't want. i may be stupid for the second time.. may be silly again. but i miss bev.. dearly.. that's for sure. i told bev my feelings. and told him i'm waiting. but his reactions seems to be negative.. negative to the extend.. that i feel so hurt. every word he said keep going through my mind.. and non-stop, going through non-stop. i'm wondering.. thinking.. why is he telling me all those things? has he really given upp? or he just don't want me to miss him so much? if this is the reason.. bev, i don't mind missing you everyday.. as long as there's a little hope for us.. i don't mind. you're the source of my happiness.. the source i look forward to everyday.. suddenly, feel like crying.. hahas.. i'll control.. no more cry baby. :) birthday coming soon.. no crying. :) and bev, i really don't mind. and i believe you're not those kind of guy who let go and forget everything so easily. and i believe i'm never a fling to you. i have faith in you. so stop telling me to give up like the way i asked you to last time. i'll be like you.. i'm not gonna forget you cause you're bev and i don't forget people. :) -loves.
anyways, i'll be celebrating my birthday with my friends.. hahas. AT DXO. :) exactly what i was thinking long ago.. celebrate my birthday in a club. hope maria and james will go. :( JAMES SIM, COME AND CELEBRATE WITH ME YOU KUKU. hahas. lols. hope bev can be here celebrating with me, but will that ever be possible? maybe.. maybe not. i'm dreaming again.. living in my own world.. hahas. wake upp kat!!!! :( but still feel sad can.. haix.......... never mind.. DON'T THINK SO MUCH KAT! BE HAPPY. :) yupps. hahahas. now, THINK OF WHAT TO WEAR FOR DXO. hahas. so many clothes to choose from but only like to wear the very few ones.. hahahahahas. ohh my godd. someone help me choose please.. :( -.- ohh wells, zac message me and say he wanna meet me upp for a dinner. and guess what? i don't need him on my birthday. and i don't really feel like having that dinner with him.. and so I"M NOT GONNA MEET HIM. i'd rather go with my friends.. or maybe bev.. (even better) but it's not possible now i know. i'm just saying that. so zac, stop asking me out to meet you.. and if possible, don't call me if you have nothing important (consist of life and death is the only important thing between you and me now, other than that.. NOPE.). thank you! and i thought you're suppose to meet chloe? then go and meet her lahh. i have my friends with me. you're not needed on my birthday. accompany your darling bahh. she missed you i guess. :)
anyways.. i'm tired. so far for now. and DARLING marie.. so happy to see you today.. love ya girl.. :) yupps.. kkays. off to sleep i guess. i'm tired. bye all~
tell me, how does i feel.. when this happen to you.. i was moody today.. very moody.. but i don't wanna show everyone my moodiness.... so i pretend nothing happened.. bev talked to me.. and.. something happened.. so i was moody. maybe he's right. i'm obsess with him. yes i like him. i don't deny. i don't know what i should do now.. he ask me to give upp. but i know i don't want. i may be stupid for the second time.. may be silly again. but i miss bev.. dearly.. that's for sure. i told bev my feelings. and told him i'm waiting. but his reactions seems to be negative.. negative to the extend.. that i feel so hurt. every word he said keep going through my mind.. and non-stop, going through non-stop. i'm wondering.. thinking.. why is he telling me all those things? has he really given upp? or he just don't want me to miss him so much? if this is the reason.. bev, i don't mind missing you everyday.. as long as there's a little hope for us.. i don't mind. you're the source of my happiness.. the source i look forward to everyday.. suddenly, feel like crying.. hahas.. i'll control.. no more cry baby. :) birthday coming soon.. no crying. :) and bev, i really don't mind. and i believe you're not those kind of guy who let go and forget everything so easily. and i believe i'm never a fling to you. i have faith in you. so stop telling me to give up like the way i asked you to last time. i'll be like you.. i'm not gonna forget you cause you're bev and i don't forget people. :) -loves.
anyways, i'll be celebrating my birthday with my friends.. hahas. AT DXO. :) exactly what i was thinking long ago.. celebrate my birthday in a club. hope maria and james will go. :( JAMES SIM, COME AND CELEBRATE WITH ME YOU KUKU. hahas. lols. hope bev can be here celebrating with me, but will that ever be possible? maybe.. maybe not. i'm dreaming again.. living in my own world.. hahas. wake upp kat!!!! :( but still feel sad can.. haix.......... never mind.. DON'T THINK SO MUCH KAT! BE HAPPY. :) yupps. hahahas. now, THINK OF WHAT TO WEAR FOR DXO. hahas. so many clothes to choose from but only like to wear the very few ones.. hahahahahas. ohh my godd. someone help me choose please.. :( -.- ohh wells, zac message me and say he wanna meet me upp for a dinner. and guess what? i don't need him on my birthday. and i don't really feel like having that dinner with him.. and so I"M NOT GONNA MEET HIM. i'd rather go with my friends.. or maybe bev.. (even better) but it's not possible now i know. i'm just saying that. so zac, stop asking me out to meet you.. and if possible, don't call me if you have nothing important (consist of life and death is the only important thing between you and me now, other than that.. NOPE.). thank you! and i thought you're suppose to meet chloe? then go and meet her lahh. i have my friends with me. you're not needed on my birthday. accompany your darling bahh. she missed you i guess. :)
anyways.. i'm tired. so far for now. and DARLING marie.. so happy to see you today.. love ya girl.. :) yupps.. kkays. off to sleep i guess. i'm tired. bye all~
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