SNFC = Singapore National Freestyle Competition.

yeah, SNFC is just one month and ten days away. cool~ but well, i dare to admit i haven't been training really hard! cause to me, it's just another competition. been to quite a few competitions and to me, it all sounds the same and it's like, whatever for to compete against each other? cause sometimes, people who lost, will hold grudge. not to me for the very least. and i'm sure lynnee won't too. cause to us, competition is just a day, for all skaters to gather and play around. i won't mind losing the title of top three. but well, of course i'll be sad. but it's of no point cause i know ever since i had my accident, there're a lot more things which i can't do, or rather i should say, i dare not take the risk to do cause i'm afraid i'd hurt my ankle again. yupps. losing the title, not because i've not worked hard, but because i'm restricted to the slides i can do. well, i'll do my best though. (: anyways, gonna be there so they could have enough people to open the category. or perhaps, to be there for the sake of, showing face. nothing else. i aim no nothing for this SNFC.

where as to the other girls, this competition seems to be like the big HOOHA in their life. hahas. well, maybe another three years down the road, when they're like me, they'll think like me. they're still young i suppose. not having any other things to commit to. no work, just schooling and skating. when i was a school girl, that's what i do. but not anymore cause i've got a full-time job which i need high level of commitment. and thus, it results in my low level of commitment for skating. i wish i'm still a school girl sometimes, just so regret quitting school. yeahs. hais. :( i want to get back to school again. no matter how old am i, i want to get my diploma and degree in the future. cause i want to get a proper business course's certification. i need high level of certifications, in singapore to be exact, to get a damn high paid job. this is so damn the true isn't it? -.- and so, skating isn't everything afterall. and winning will never be everlasting. (: skating is for passion, your hobby, your interest and for your friendship with the skaters. not when comes to competition and ruin everything. and this is something i don't want to see. i guess not many people actually think like me. cause what they aim/wants is just to win. and this is kinda like a very selfish thought though. hais. young people nowadays. hais.

anyways, have just finished uploading the photos for saturday from my lappy to My Photo Albums and friendster. hahas. (: can go and take a look. there're more on vivian's camera. will upload them again when i got them. ^^ but meanwhile, just enjoy some photos from my lousy handphone k. :( sad sad. still gotta upload the photos to photobucket and post them on IC forum. gosh. so many things to do. RAHH! shit. hais.

prince is having his out field. :( may not be back on friday. hais. :( never mind, i'll still wait for him though. alrights. gonna upload SOME photos, you guys shall see the rest of the photos in my photo albums eys? ^^

i'm pretty tired. xD gotta work tomorrow until 11pm. :( shag. enjoyy the photos. (:

this is for tai tai! (: slide com result. i didn't do very well. :( sad.

the junior's results.

early in the morning at 6 o'clock.

you see a couple taking photo! LOL

lynnee, my sliding princess! (:

fei, lynnee, me.

me and shyler. (: the cute little skater.

prize giving. LOL.

2nd runner up. (:

all busy looking at the results. LOL.

how i miss this place, my primary school. :(

telok kurau. (:

lan session after the competition.

CS.

dinner at 5-stars.

everything is gone! hungry ghost!

okays. time to sleep lers. update soon k! (:

I'm Sick. :(

don't feel like blogging today.

shall blog soon.

i have a lot of photos for saturday. (:

nights!

Photos.

this is what i'll do when i'm at work. scrub the sink until it's shiny! (:



my lamazocco. gonna miss it so much already. :( and yes, i clean it too.

look at the sinks. right one is after i've scrubbed it. left is when nothing was done.

and left side is usually what you will always see nowadays. no more right side after i'm gone.

when i was at work, on break.

then i saw this person squating, like this. -.-

when i'm preparing the prep works. 22 littres of frap mix. 2 littres of frap light, 6 littres of cream mix. -.-

my lovely colleague, sarah.

even though i'm angry with prince, i still bought this for him.

one for him, one for me.

alrights. i think that's all. i'm hungry. wanna find food eat. (: then get ready to go out. (: hahas. skating tonight!

INTER-IC-SLIDE COMPETITION TOMORROW!!!! we'll have fun, for sure. we love to play among ourselves! ^^

When Sorry Means Nothing No More.

i have always been wondering, why some people can just say the word, ' sorry ' so easily. i hate to apologise. and i don't like to say ' sorry '. cause to me, ' sorry ' is not easy to say. but, for some others, it seems so bloody easy. sorry this and that. and when this happens too often, that's when sorry means nothing no more. really, it just become a meaningless word. really meaningless.

prince only messaged me back yesterday morning. when i was already angry with him, for causing me to worry about him, ALWAYS. and he said sorry, he know his mistake. but why the hell should you even do it when you know it's wrong to do so? how dumb can that be? i've always told myself, the word ' sorry ' should only be said when i really know what am i suppose to do and that i'm really sorry, and will make sure i won't do the same anymore. but yet, this is the don't know how many times prince said sorry to me. and don't know how many times he said he'd never do that again, don't mean it etc. craps. it all become craps. cause, he said them too often until i can't trust his words.

angry i am, but i'm more upset. cause, this shouldn't be happening. prince finds it ridiculous when his aunt told us about how her son behaves when he's out, like not calling home to report safety etc. but now he's doing that to me. how funny, how weird. i refuse to talk to him yesterday. replied his messages in short. and not wanting to say any further. cause i feel, he should feel how i felt the day before. he asked for forgiveness, and if i do, this is the don't know how many times i forgave him on issues like this. cause he always wait till i'm really pissed, then he'd do something. which is too late. i don't like this kind of things. he made me feels that he's being irresposible, unreliable. why should he behave like a kid for these kind of things? he finds it funny? he thinks it's cool? ha. then go find someone else to play all these with. i don't like. FULL-STOP.

he's booking out today. and i thought, i should be very happy seeing him today. but, what happened that day, killed my happy mood. and i really feel, he shouldn't even apologise to me. cause i know even if he apologise now, sooner or later, he'd do the same thing again. so what's the bloody point of apologise. POINTLESS. he makes me hate the word ' sorry '. seriously.

but tonight is skating day, i don't wish to spoil everyone's mood. so im trying to tidy up my unhappy mood and go to skate, happily. typing this entry with my eyes half shut. gosh, this is how tired i am. back home only an hour ago. :( there're some photos i took. but i'm too lazy to upload now. probably next entry. (:

nights people.
pray for me that i'll be a happy girl again after i wake up.
honey dreams. (:

Too Tired To Blog Today.

just got home about 45 minutes ago.

tired. i shall blog when i'm not working.

IC-slide competition ( only for ICians. ) on saturday. hope we'll have lots of fun! ^^

okays. update when i'm not tired bahhs. today too tired.

AND, i'm kinda angry with prince, cause he went drinking with wui boon. and wui boon called me and said he'd make him drunk. BUT, prince promised to message me when he's back to camp. and YET, i waited like an idiot ( even until now, i'm still waiting. ) and there's not even a message from him. why must he always make me wait and worry.

doesn't he know i'd worry for him? cause if he's drunk, he might get charge. and i told him not to drink so much. and yet, this is what happen.

someone, tell me what should i do? kill him? -.-

GRR! it's not funny to be worrying for someone. and prince is gonna be twenty in august. yet sometimes, he's still behaving like a LITTLE KID. which sometimes i just can't stand it.

aside from these, i missed SEDUCTIVE's one year anniversary celebration at DBLO. i'm sorry, i'm down with work. :( hope everyone enjoyed themselves.

New Song Added To Playlist. (:

enjoy the song, a little cute. ^^ finish listening to it eys? (:


Yael Naim - New Soul

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La, la, la, la (21x)
La, la, la, la (21x)

See I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

La, la, la, la (21x)
La, la, la, la (21x)

This is a happy end
Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take you far away

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

New soul... (la, la, la, la,...)
In this very strange world...
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes...

Letting Go Slowly..

yes, letting go off all the resposibilities i've been holding onto since nazhimah converted to part-time. leaving everything slowly.. and i hope, it'll be soon. cause it's killing to see the store getting from bad to worse.

i've nothing much to blog about yesterday. and, no photos were taken yesterday. just as usual, i went to work. reach there on the dot! 1:30pm. and started work at 1:35pm. all the way until 11:10pm. and got home like just now. about an hour ago. all the way from i started work until i clock out, i keep telling myself not to bother about everything anymore. if they want the store to be dirty and smelly, that's their problem. and even when the store is messy, i'm not gonna do anything about it. stopped my usual ' cleaning sessions ' and do what i'm told to do. tell myself not to be so helpful anymore, leave everything to them. dead or alive, i'm not suppose to care anymore. cause i'm leaving. and i suppose this is what they want. for me to stop caring everything.

my secondary school senior was at cathay yesterday. had a chat with him and a short catch up with him. (: nice to know he's doing well in life. good luck glenn! (:

yeah, that's about it. nothing muchs.

just that i miss my baby boy so much now. didn't get to talk to him on phone yesterday cause he slept early and i was working still. :( kinda used to talking to him for just that little while before he sleeps. never mind, friday is coming! ^^ miss you baby!

and lynnee! you better update your blog more! i'll be visiting it VERY OFTEN! make sure it's still gonna be alive!!! (: ANYWAY, HER BLOG IS BACK!!! GO TO HER LINK!

Total Disappointment. :(

went to work yesterday. i thought opening was at 8:15am, when it was suppose to be 7:15am. lucky mom woke me up. it's like, how the hell did i got mixed up over the timings?????

set the alarm clock at 6:30am. and i woke up as usual, for a SUNDAY's opening! -.- what the hell lahhs. and i'm late for work. reach there like, 8am? -.- but teng was nice enough not to scold me. thank you teng!

worked all the way until 5:45pm. was coaching a girl name pearly from PS. today is her first day for store training. and yeah, taught her 3 modules. food handling, brewed coffee and tea and cleaning the cafe, until 2pm. then i go for my break. for an hour. just about half an hour before i clock out. something nasty happened. which really saddens me a LOT.

what happened was :

the closers for sunday's night didn't do a very good closing. syrups pumps not washed, items not topped-up, trash bags not doubled. and i have to do all these for them. washing the pumps and topping up the items are not so pissing. what's most frustrating was the trash bags! after umpteen times of reminders, ' scoldings ', and no one is doing it. and leaving everything for me to do. once or twice is alright, but it's almost ALL THE TIME! and not just about the double bag-ing. they don't even clean the dustbin area, where milk stains and grinds are there. no one bothers and end up i'm always the one doing all these dirty jobs. i've feedback a lot of times already. and what upset me when i gave feedback to my the other full-timer was he actually told me ' kat, everything i look after, i very tired lehhs. ' is this the kind of attitude a full-timer should be giving? he spend most of the time on floor, work more hours than part-timers. then who should i ask to do all these? part-timers? and what more to say when he's a COFFEE MASTER? he shouldn't be thinking this way, no matter what. cause his responsibilities is much higher than any part-timers. his sense of belonging should be even higher than them. but NO, he's not doing anything. he's not showing me his commitments. he's not doing what a full-timer suppose to do. and even after so many times of reminding him, i give up telling him or giving him feedbacks. OR using the star skills starbucks had inculcate in me on him. all is useless on him! he doesn't even listen to me, doesn't even respect me for who i am, as a cathay's full-timer for the past ten months. he shows no respect to me cause i've yet to get my black apron - coffee master. just because of this, he's not respecting me. well, i don't care if he respects me, but the fact that he's not doing a good job is good enough for me to tell him he's going no where with his current attitude towards work. all he think of is ways to go all the way up. FUCK THAT. you're not up to a manager's standard! yes, i'm pissed. and what pissed me even more was when i went up to my store manager ( not being the FIRST time approaching him ), and try telling him all the problems, with all my accumulated frustrations, and he told me off. scolded me for using the wrong way of giving feedback as a learning coach. saying i shouldn't use the term ' full-timer ' to push a person. and he screamed and yelled at me. and today, is the first time ever for the past ten months in cathay, i cried. felt really upset by my store manager. very very extremely disappointed with him. ever since the day he was announced as a store manager, he changed so much. he's no longer like before. he always say we, the partners don't communicate with him, yet when we try to talk to him, this is the kind of reaction we get from him. and how are we gonna ever wanna talk to him again? have he ever thought about this? after arguing with him, i left the office saying ' then i think i shouldn't even say anything anymore. '. it's really disappointing what he's turn cathay into. yes, cathay is growing, we're getting to the top. but the partners isn't up to standard. they're getting from bad to worse. seriously..

after i've done everything, i went to smoke with teng, my shift manager. had a chat with her, and she asked me to let go of everything since i'm leaving already. no point caring so much and they don't appreciate me at all. they don't see me doing things for them. they just feel, it's because i'm leaving, that's why i'm acting like this. but the fact is, i've always been doing this. but just because i tendered my resignation, everything changed. it's fuck up, i know. but what can i do? i'm really leaving and there's nothing i can do now. i thought i could at least inculcate a good habit to them before i leave, but.. this is what i got. teng told me to forget about everything, continue to go to work with light hearted and finish up the last one month. yes, i shouldn't care so much no more. and when i was chatting with teng, i cried again. hais. just feel really heartache to see cathay like now. after all my hardworks and efforts to keep this store well.. it just turn out to be another bad one.

yet the killing one is to know your store manager actually feels that you disrespect him cause of yesterday's incident. if i don't respect him, why would i wanna go back to help him when i'm freaking on hospitalisation leaves? when i can jolly well not go to work and do what i want?? with just one sentence, i'm back on shift to cover up whatever shifts he needed. sacrisfying my skating time, the time i can spend with prince.. for his store, yet he still thinks i disrespect him? WTF? this is the killing one. i've never put in so much effort in a F&B industry before, yet when i put in all my efforts and try to do the best i can, i got this kind of ' appreciations '. thanks ah. for all the memories there.

- THE END FOR THE PISSING STORY. -

after talking to teng, eddy pop out of nowhere and got me frightened, as usual. chatted with him and teng went back into store. and about half an hour later, javier and sky reached. and again, i got frightened by sky, making me screamed damn LOUD! i swear! even sky himself felt embarrassed cause everyone was looking at him after i shouted. headed to nihon mura for dinner with them. food was cheap there. had 5 plates of shushis, a plate of unagi, a chawamushi and the bacon thingy with mushroom, which was delicious. ^^ and thanks to the three of them, i felt better with their jokes and stuffs. (: they made my day better after that. then slack outside cathay after dinner. and just so happen i saw my ex-colleague from cedele, ah long. >.< thanks for everything baby .

okays, after a day of working and crying, i'm really tired. gonna sleep lers. enjoyy the photoss beloww. nights people. (:

my wound worsen. :(

mat, at work yesterday. the place where i usually smokes.



pearly.
nihon mura.
javier, eddy.
sky.
HKC. (:
chawamushi.
prawn shushi.

the bacon and mushroom thingy. ^^ damn nice!!!
unagi!

salmon sushi.
the girl with the spaghetti, they're talking about her. LOL

okay. end of yesterday. i wanna sleep lers. night. (: