i don't know why must there be a sudden change in your attitude towards me when you get to know about me and him. aren't you suppose to be supportive, somehow? instead of giving me the ' ignore ' attitude? why do you have to make things seems so bad? we were so close, as friends. please, don't because of this and ignore me. it hurts to see you treating me like this. you're a special friend. you know it yourself.. so stop. stop giving me that hostile feeling. i can't stand it. can't we just like before? talk like before? joke like before? we are friends, aren't we? why make it as though you're hating me?
once you forsaken my feelings for you and being so harsh to me. now that i sorted out my feelings and wanna pursue my feelings back for him and you're giving me this attitude, what is wrong with you? or should i say.. what is wrong with us? why are we like this now? i'm not trying to tell you i'm still clinging hopes for you. no, it died since 07 March 2008. you distinguish it. thanks for waking me up from this dream. yes i've been dreaming. dreaming to be with you in the future. but it will never come true. it'll never be de javu. cause you will never accept me again. that's why i choose to let go and be friends like what you wanted me to do. but why are you like this now? didn't you once said as long as i'm happy, you're fine with it? didn't you said you don't mind me being with him? yes i know this is not the first time me and him patch. but what can i do? i still have feelings for him. yes, call me fickle minded or whatsoever. but don't treat me the way you're treating me now. can't you just stay by my side as a close friend? as a brother? can't you? why do you have to make it as though we're gonna be enemies? why? don't do this to me times and again. it hurts, it really does.
please, i'm pleading you not to do this to me. i don't know when you'll be reading this.. but i hope when you do, feel how i feel. i know all these while it's not only me who's having a hard time. but to once loved a person like you, till i'm going crazy yet i have to forgo the feelings is not easy as well.. please understand my feelings. be in my shoes and feel how i feel, boy. don't treat me this way.
please.....
Friday, May 23, 2008
back to work? ha.
hmm.. gonna go back and help out later. i guess probably gonna start doing that often cause i think cathay also short of partners. -.- ha. well.. it's true. what can i say anymore? i'm just trying to help them as much as i can bahhs. since they're still paying when i'm not working. hais. i'm not gonna be in the system for long.. i don't have the heart to tell my store manager. since the day i joined the system on 21st August 2007, i loved cathay. but now this accident.. caused me not able to be with them anymore. though i already had plans to leave long ago. but now that they're still treating me so nicely.. i don't know if what i'm doing is considered heartless or not. but the fact that doctor said i can't stand for long hours in the future is true. :( hais. somebody please, tell me i'm not doing the wrong thing. :( i need supports.
yesterday's event was a success. everything was good. the customer enjoyed our service. enjoyed our demo. enjoyed our presence. (: i'm glad everything went on smoothly. ^^ yeahs. have yet to get the photos from vivian.^^ hang on people!! (:
working later from 6.30pm - 4am. not going to skating today, which i usually does. but ohh well.. too bad bahhs. :(
hais... i'm tired. dota-ed just now. ^^ fun.. but a bit too tired to play again. hahas. gonna sleep. replenish my energy level again! (:
nights people!!~~
my boy is sick today, having fever. :( :( hope you're feeling better now.. i love you boy..
yesterday's event was a success. everything was good. the customer enjoyed our service. enjoyed our demo. enjoyed our presence. (: i'm glad everything went on smoothly. ^^ yeahs. have yet to get the photos from vivian.^^ hang on people!! (:
working later from 6.30pm - 4am. not going to skating today, which i usually does. but ohh well.. too bad bahhs. :(
hais... i'm tired. dota-ed just now. ^^ fun.. but a bit too tired to play again. hahas. gonna sleep. replenish my energy level again! (:
nights people!!~~
my boy is sick today, having fever. :( :( hope you're feeling better now.. i love you boy..
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Red dot museum event.
yesterday was chloe's birthday. though i wished her happy birthday already.. but well, again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE. (: hope you enjoyed your day.
and, today i'll be attending the red dot museum event at maxwell road. yeah. with the skaters. (: but i won't be demo-ing. will be Marshalling. hahas. with a cute uniform they provide us with. (: hehees. will take some photos and post them up yeah? (: no worries. ^^ photos will be with vivian though. hope she send me soon. hahas. but well, i'm glad i'm helping inline cuture again yeah? (: hehees.
hmm.. sunday is paya lebar runway.. hahas. hopefully everything goes well.. more than 200 of inline culture family is going.. instructors, freestyle club, skate club, demo team, team elite.. everyone is going. so happy to see everyone! (: hahas. last year was also 200+ but i wasn't there cause i was working.. but this year is gonna be more i heard. hahas. cool~ can't wait for sunday! (:
next week is gonna be a happening week man. almost everyday is a birthday for someone i know. hahas. 27th is my mom's birthday. 29th to 31st is my friend's birthday. and the 1st of june is my sister's birthday. busy birthday week yeah. hahas. cooL~ pocket is gonna have holes. -.- hahahahaha.
primary school holidays are here. and i suppose my mom is going back to malaysia soon. probably the second week of june bahhs. hais. she's been bugging me to go back and visit my grandma. naggy woman. -.- i'm not free my queen. (: hehees. have a lot of things to do yeah. (:
anyways, met up with him just now. send him home and i went to katong IC shop to try the outfit for tomorrow's event. the outfit was awesome. but he's not going tomorrow. only 6 male skaters are choosen. and 4 girls are choosen for marshalling. and i'm lucky to have been choosen! (: back to his place to have dinner with him. then back to his place again after dinner. was kinda pissed when i left his house. cause of his grandma. his grandma is really getting up my nerves. for so long i tolerated her, given her the respect of an elderly.. but she completely give me a 'face' which is like so damn unfriendly. is as though i did something wrong. well, the only wrong i do is probably going to HER house to find HER grandson. and it's so whatever and lame to get angry over this cause me and her grandson is in a relationship yet she behaves like my dad, a child. it's HER grandson who asked me to find him there. it's HER grandson who wants me to meet him there. then why the fuck give me a fucking face when i didn't even do a shit. it's like KNNPCB lahh! was moody all the way. didn't talk to him on the train. don't feel like. i know it's not his fault but.. somehow i'm just angry.. with his grandma? tolerated her nonsense and craps for so long. and now i voice it out. perhaps i cared too much about everything.. him.. his family.. maybe i shouldn't even care at all. maybe it's best if i'm indifferent...
sometimes, it's doesn't give you any benefits to be a good person. and instead of getting benefits, you loses out a lot. which is what we call, unfairness. sucks to be in this world. sucks to be born here. and sucks to face all these fucking shits. well, sucks to be me.
宝贝，我知道不是你的错可是我们毕竟在一起那么久了。
年年都要我忍，要我忍多久？
我不是机器人。。我有感觉，时间久了我会累。
我不希望将来我们会应为她而分手。
忍她已经不是一两天，忍耐是有限度的。
希望你能体谅我的心情，体会我的感受。
我不希望我们哪天又会分开。。
那种痛，我承受不了了。
打从心地的想爱你，不要让我再失去你。
宝贝，我爱你。
and, today i'll be attending the red dot museum event at maxwell road. yeah. with the skaters. (: but i won't be demo-ing. will be Marshalling. hahas. with a cute uniform they provide us with. (: hehees. will take some photos and post them up yeah? (: no worries. ^^ photos will be with vivian though. hope she send me soon. hahas. but well, i'm glad i'm helping inline cuture again yeah? (: hehees.
hmm.. sunday is paya lebar runway.. hahas. hopefully everything goes well.. more than 200 of inline culture family is going.. instructors, freestyle club, skate club, demo team, team elite.. everyone is going. so happy to see everyone! (: hahas. last year was also 200+ but i wasn't there cause i was working.. but this year is gonna be more i heard. hahas. cool~ can't wait for sunday! (:
next week is gonna be a happening week man. almost everyday is a birthday for someone i know. hahas. 27th is my mom's birthday. 29th to 31st is my friend's birthday. and the 1st of june is my sister's birthday. busy birthday week yeah. hahas. cooL~ pocket is gonna have holes. -.- hahahahaha.
primary school holidays are here. and i suppose my mom is going back to malaysia soon. probably the second week of june bahhs. hais. she's been bugging me to go back and visit my grandma. naggy woman. -.- i'm not free my queen. (: hehees. have a lot of things to do yeah. (:
anyways, met up with him just now. send him home and i went to katong IC shop to try the outfit for tomorrow's event. the outfit was awesome. but he's not going tomorrow. only 6 male skaters are choosen. and 4 girls are choosen for marshalling. and i'm lucky to have been choosen! (: back to his place to have dinner with him. then back to his place again after dinner. was kinda pissed when i left his house. cause of his grandma. his grandma is really getting up my nerves. for so long i tolerated her, given her the respect of an elderly.. but she completely give me a 'face' which is like so damn unfriendly. is as though i did something wrong. well, the only wrong i do is probably going to HER house to find HER grandson. and it's so whatever and lame to get angry over this cause me and her grandson is in a relationship yet she behaves like my dad, a child. it's HER grandson who asked me to find him there. it's HER grandson who wants me to meet him there. then why the fuck give me a fucking face when i didn't even do a shit. it's like KNNPCB lahh! was moody all the way. didn't talk to him on the train. don't feel like. i know it's not his fault but.. somehow i'm just angry.. with his grandma? tolerated her nonsense and craps for so long. and now i voice it out. perhaps i cared too much about everything.. him.. his family.. maybe i shouldn't even care at all. maybe it's best if i'm indifferent...
sometimes, it's doesn't give you any benefits to be a good person. and instead of getting benefits, you loses out a lot. which is what we call, unfairness. sucks to be in this world. sucks to be born here. and sucks to face all these fucking shits. well, sucks to be me.
宝贝，我知道不是你的错可是我们毕竟在一起那么久了。
年年都要我忍，要我忍多久？
我不是机器人。。我有感觉，时间久了我会累。
我不希望将来我们会应为她而分手。
忍她已经不是一两天，忍耐是有限度的。
希望你能体谅我的心情，体会我的感受。
我不希望我们哪天又会分开。。
那种痛，我承受不了了。
打从心地的想爱你，不要让我再失去你。
宝贝，我爱你。
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
i'm so irritated by blogger's photo uploader!
fucking irritating lahhs. cb. -.- tried uploading photos but it took like an hour yet nothing, NOTHING is uploaded. fuck the uploader. cb. knn. this is freaking not the fucking first time already. idiot. making me wait like some moron. whatever. fuck.. -PISSED!-
well, updating my blog for steph.. she wants to know what has been happening in my life when she's far away.. that's why i'm updating my blog now.. in fact the reason why i blog lesser is because i started writing diary again. so i find myself having to write everything in my diary rather than blogging it down. sorry people. i'll update more okays? (:
it's been two months since steph left.. i miss her. reading her blog once in a while and knowing she has been drinking.. i'm worried. cause she's overseas. anything happen to her i won't be able to be there.. i just hope she'll be back sound and safe. i hope to see her real soon.. like what i told her.. i hope i can be a jumper so i can jump to her now. (: but too bad i can't. girl, i know you'll be reading my blog. i just hope you will know how much i miss you. it's been so long since we last met. don't worry about me. he's treating me well.. i hope you can see the changed him and accept him as a new person. i really hope so. give him a chance to show you he's really treating me right.. (: don't worry about me. (:
have been having some thoughts about my skating life too.. ever since i had my accident until now, that i'm back to skating, somehow.. i can feel it myself that i've lost a lot of my strength and power for sliding. no longer like before. i talked to vivian.. about leaving team elite cause i find myself no longer fit to be in the team.. but she say steven will not let me leave the team.. she say steven has his own reason why he wanna keep me in the team. well, what could the reason be? my purpose of joining the team is not for anything but because of friendship. because i've been with inline culture for so long. it's not for the benefits. i love inline culture and will always do.
losing so much of my strength and power, and surprisingly, i managed to do some slides. not perfectly good but managed to somehow execute them. i'm happy, i'm glad. but am i really ready to go further? am i ready to go for competitions? am i fit for everything? sometimes when i massage my ankle, it still hurts. and sometimes when i just wake up from sleep and i try to walk, the ankle feels pain too. i want to go back to skating. i miss skating and sliding. i miss representing inline culture for competition. but i can't do all these at the moment.. what should i do? i want to get back my strength and power like last time. i want back everything. and i mean, everything. i wish... it'll be soon.. i don't have time to waste.. the opponent team is getting stronger and stronger day by day. it's time to buck up..
and my work.. having not able to work for the past few months and adding on with another 5 more weeks of hospitalisation leaves. i don't know if i still can work for Starbucks. my commitment level has been dropping.. and i'm feeling so listless. i took such a hard time to build up my commitment level and now everything is gone. everything changed since that accident. OMFG. this is so hurting. i lost so much from an accident.. :( hais. and i suppose i'm getting a new job soon since my ankle doesn't allow me to stand for long hours. doctor already said it'll at least take another half a year to one year to fully heal. it's like, WHAT THE FUCK WHY NEED SO LONG?!!? hais. but no choice, what happened already happen. live with it bahhs, kat. i just hope everything will go through smoothly now.
okay, i wanna start playing dota now.. have been playing dota by the way.. getting the hands of it. (: bevan, just you wait k? i'll play with you one day. (: *training in progress*
宝贝，谢谢你这三个礼拜对我的体贴与温柔。
希望一切不会就此告一段落。
希望一切会更顺利，
希望我们会一直开心。
我爱你！
well, updating my blog for steph.. she wants to know what has been happening in my life when she's far away.. that's why i'm updating my blog now.. in fact the reason why i blog lesser is because i started writing diary again. so i find myself having to write everything in my diary rather than blogging it down. sorry people. i'll update more okays? (:
it's been two months since steph left.. i miss her. reading her blog once in a while and knowing she has been drinking.. i'm worried. cause she's overseas. anything happen to her i won't be able to be there.. i just hope she'll be back sound and safe. i hope to see her real soon.. like what i told her.. i hope i can be a jumper so i can jump to her now. (: but too bad i can't. girl, i know you'll be reading my blog. i just hope you will know how much i miss you. it's been so long since we last met. don't worry about me. he's treating me well.. i hope you can see the changed him and accept him as a new person. i really hope so. give him a chance to show you he's really treating me right.. (: don't worry about me. (:
have been having some thoughts about my skating life too.. ever since i had my accident until now, that i'm back to skating, somehow.. i can feel it myself that i've lost a lot of my strength and power for sliding. no longer like before. i talked to vivian.. about leaving team elite cause i find myself no longer fit to be in the team.. but she say steven will not let me leave the team.. she say steven has his own reason why he wanna keep me in the team. well, what could the reason be? my purpose of joining the team is not for anything but because of friendship. because i've been with inline culture for so long. it's not for the benefits. i love inline culture and will always do.
losing so much of my strength and power, and surprisingly, i managed to do some slides. not perfectly good but managed to somehow execute them. i'm happy, i'm glad. but am i really ready to go further? am i ready to go for competitions? am i fit for everything? sometimes when i massage my ankle, it still hurts. and sometimes when i just wake up from sleep and i try to walk, the ankle feels pain too. i want to go back to skating. i miss skating and sliding. i miss representing inline culture for competition. but i can't do all these at the moment.. what should i do? i want to get back my strength and power like last time. i want back everything. and i mean, everything. i wish... it'll be soon.. i don't have time to waste.. the opponent team is getting stronger and stronger day by day. it's time to buck up..
and my work.. having not able to work for the past few months and adding on with another 5 more weeks of hospitalisation leaves. i don't know if i still can work for Starbucks. my commitment level has been dropping.. and i'm feeling so listless. i took such a hard time to build up my commitment level and now everything is gone. everything changed since that accident. OMFG. this is so hurting. i lost so much from an accident.. :( hais. and i suppose i'm getting a new job soon since my ankle doesn't allow me to stand for long hours. doctor already said it'll at least take another half a year to one year to fully heal. it's like, WHAT THE FUCK WHY NEED SO LONG?!!? hais. but no choice, what happened already happen. live with it bahhs, kat. i just hope everything will go through smoothly now.
okay, i wanna start playing dota now.. have been playing dota by the way.. getting the hands of it. (: bevan, just you wait k? i'll play with you one day. (: *training in progress*
宝贝，谢谢你这三个礼拜对我的体贴与温柔。
希望一切不会就此告一段落。
希望一切会更顺利，
希望我们会一直开心。
我爱你！
SINGAPORE FLYER!! (:
went to singapore flyer on sunday. hahas. enjoyed myself! (: thanks to my loved ones. hehees.
don't have much to blog about these days.. don't know what to blog. have been lazing around.. mom don't allow me to go back to work first. cause she scared my ankle will swollen again. i can understand that lahhs. but this can't go on mahhs. hais... :(
hmm.. okays. i'm so lazy to blog now. byebye.
don't have much to blog about these days.. don't know what to blog. have been lazing around.. mom don't allow me to go back to work first. cause she scared my ankle will swollen again. i can understand that lahhs. but this can't go on mahhs. hais... :(
hmm.. okays. i'm so lazy to blog now. byebye.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
happy mummy's day! (:
as usual.. i bought present for mummy. yupps. hardly have dinner with her cause she never like having dinner outside.. plus she don't like having dinner at home cause she say we need to clean up the mess after eating. -.- actually i bought the present for her last month. hahahahas. so nice of me right? to still remember! (: hehees.
yupps. as usual.. weekend i'm skating. yeah. trying hard to gain back my strength. but ohh well.. not very good yeah. and my dota sessions are getting more. cool~ -.- hahas. but i only know how to use one character. which is ' oh well, the story goes.. ' hahas. not bad lahhs. hahas. i'm training k! (: hehees. ^^
nothing special.. yeah.. just feeling very tired cause i don't really have enough rest. and kinda feeling sad cause my baby boy went back already. :( gonna so miss him.. :( hais. i'm gonna miss him hugging me. miss him accidentally hit me.. miss him crying. miss his everything. how i wish he's my son. hais. so gonna miss his laughters. his cute-ness. his little little actions. :( so far, i've never feel so attach to any of my cousins. but he is the first. cause he's the first who will really 'look' for me. cause he regconise me. he will want to be by my side. makes me feel like wanting him so much. he's only 2 months old. yet he's so smart. gonna miss this smart little cutie. :( hais. sad. feel so attached to him. :(
hais.. :( feeling so down. :( sobs sobs. :( have been tired.. but i don't know why i have energy to play dota still. -.- wierd. hahas. bevan, at my skills now, i won't be able to beat you one lahhs. i just started like how long ago? -.- one week? hahas. you sure win me de. (: let me train more first k? then i play with you lahhs k? (:
okays. i think i shall play dota.
宝贝，我爱你。
yupps. as usual.. weekend i'm skating. yeah. trying hard to gain back my strength. but ohh well.. not very good yeah. and my dota sessions are getting more. cool~ -.- hahas. but i only know how to use one character. which is ' oh well, the story goes.. ' hahas. not bad lahhs. hahas. i'm training k! (: hehees. ^^
nothing special.. yeah.. just feeling very tired cause i don't really have enough rest. and kinda feeling sad cause my baby boy went back already. :( gonna so miss him.. :( hais. i'm gonna miss him hugging me. miss him accidentally hit me.. miss him crying. miss his everything. how i wish he's my son. hais. so gonna miss his laughters. his cute-ness. his little little actions. :( so far, i've never feel so attach to any of my cousins. but he is the first. cause he's the first who will really 'look' for me. cause he regconise me. he will want to be by my side. makes me feel like wanting him so much. he's only 2 months old. yet he's so smart. gonna miss this smart little cutie. :( hais. sad. feel so attached to him. :(
hais.. :( feeling so down. :( sobs sobs. :( have been tired.. but i don't know why i have energy to play dota still. -.- wierd. hahas. bevan, at my skills now, i won't be able to beat you one lahhs. i just started like how long ago? -.- one week? hahas. you sure win me de. (: let me train more first k? then i play with you lahhs k? (:
okays. i think i shall play dota.
宝贝，我爱你。
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
紫欣最近好累... :(
have been busy working the past two days. store is down with partners. and i've gone back on shift to help out. honestly speaking, my ankle hurts again. :( hais.
the sudden pain makes me don't know what to do now. i don't know if i should tell my manager about it or not. my mom ask me to tell my manager.. but.. if i do so and stop working.. there'll be not enough people.. hais. how? :(
** 宝贝，我现在只希望你会在我身边， 成为我精神上的资助。
我不希望自己再次怀疑你， 不希望自己再不开心。
请你让我完全相信你，不要让我失去信心。
除了你，我什么都不要想。
不要再把我捧上天，又打入谷里。
我的心已不能再承受了。
应为我累了。。。
what should i do now? hais. i'm so tired. everyday after i reach home, my baby boy is waiting for me.. i could hardly even sleep properly.. i could hardly even rest enough and i have to get up and get ready for work.. :( hais.. what should i do? i'm so tired..
i just want a shoulder to lead on, to rest and sleep well for a night.. i just want to have a good rest.. cause i'm just too tired.. someone, hug me please.
kat is really tired..
the sudden pain makes me don't know what to do now. i don't know if i should tell my manager about it or not. my mom ask me to tell my manager.. but.. if i do so and stop working.. there'll be not enough people.. hais. how? :(
** 宝贝，我现在只希望你会在我身边， 成为我精神上的资助。
我不希望自己再次怀疑你， 不希望自己再不开心。
请你让我完全相信你，不要让我失去信心。
除了你，我什么都不要想。
不要再把我捧上天，又打入谷里。
我的心已不能再承受了。
应为我累了。。。
what should i do now? hais. i'm so tired. everyday after i reach home, my baby boy is waiting for me.. i could hardly even sleep properly.. i could hardly even rest enough and i have to get up and get ready for work.. :( hais.. what should i do? i'm so tired..
i just want a shoulder to lead on, to rest and sleep well for a night.. i just want to have a good rest.. cause i'm just too tired.. someone, hug me please.
kat is really tired..
Monday, May 5, 2008
dance of the dragon.. 龙之舞
okay. yes i watched dance of the dragon! fucking crap. nonsense.
rate : 1/5
TOTAL BORING-NESS. waste money. i almost fell asleep during the movie. haha.
crap. okays. yes! A LOT of people wished me happy birthday. hahas. the very first was zaid, from my workplace. hahas. then so on and so on.. AJ wished me the cutest.. ' HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS ' hahas. so cool right. (: i'm the little princess and will always be. =] see so many people dote on me! (: hehees. *bleahs. don't jealous, cause no matter how you jealous, you'll never be me. =] hahas.
okays. update from thursday yeah..
thursday i woke up around 1pm.. called jaslyn.. then she came my house at around 3pm.. slack here.. then after i bathe for my baby.. and after i get ready, we leave my place at 6pm, when we're suppose to meet at 6pm. HAHA. then cab to plaza singapura. hahas. meet up with the skaters. then go to cathay to collect the movie tickets first. the back to plaza singapura to meet the rest.. had ajisen ramen for dinner. hahas. just so nice bumb into the WG members. and seductive members. (: had some chats. then went for a smoke.. back to ajisen.. then had the dinner.. hahas. after dinner slowly walk to cathay to meet some of those who went straight to cathay at the lan shop. took some photos.. haha. but all with jasmine.. waiting for her to upload them. =] hahas. yupps.
after gathering everyone, we went to watch iron man at the grand cathay. =] fucking funny lahhs the show! i rate it 4.5/5. hahas. don't mind watching it again though. ^^ hahas. have yet to watch forbidden kingdom.. skater leon said he's gonna watch with me! =] HAHAS. yesssssss. but don't know when we'll be free.. lol.. hopefully soon. =] hahas. after the movie, meet outside cathay.. smoking session.. and see the WG members again.. they're heading towards MOS.. then yifan ask me to go.. hahas. then.... hmm.... okays.. decided to go with them cause they skaters have yet to made up their mind. so yeahh.. before i go off to MOS, had a talk with zac for about half an hour.. then cab to MOS with yifan and jaslyn. hahas. meet my cousin at MOS's taxi stand. then to MOS we go! =] hahas. it's my cousin's first time ever clubbing in singapore. -.- funny.. she's 21 this year okay! hahas. but hope she enjoyed herself. (: AND.. AND.. i SHUFFLED! (: finally after so long.. manage to shuffle a little.. hahas. cool~ hehees. yupps. then clubbed until 3:45am. go to macdonald's and slack. cab home with yifan, jaslyn and my cousin. sleep soon after i reach home. =] I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! and i'm gonna be 21 next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehees. >.<
woke up at 2pm on friday.. get ready and go down to katong shop.. dinner at aston.. then head to east coast.. cause no one at rink.. so went to lan shop.. played DOTA! =] hahas. last time i didn't play.. find the character damn fugly.. well.. it's still fugly.. but the game is quite nice to play lahhs. =] hahahas. cool!~ i like~ hahas. hook on to DOTA like that. =] hahas. later at night DM they all came.. then i skate to bedok jetty with him.. wanted to see the people to catch sotong.. but not a good day i guess.. didn't have the chance to see. :( slack at bedok jetty for a while then we head to lagoon to get some drinks. and head back to the rink. had some heart to heart chat with DM.. well, thanks Micheal for the support.. (: and thanks for telling me all those things to make me realise what have been happening. well well... it's not actually complicated isn't it? i didn't in any way show any interest. he's just a friend! nothing else. no chemistry, no interest, nothing. yes, nothing. no feeling at all.. back home around 3am after eating supper with the skaters. hahas. sleep after one match of dota. =]
saturday woke up at 3pm. then slackkk... omg. i'm so lazy to type out everything. -.- okays. went to east coast, dinner at hong kong cafe. skate until 1.30am. drink until 4.30am. back home.. sleep after bathe. okays. that's it.
today woke up at 3pm. get ready and go out after eating. went to bugis. wanted to plug eyebrown but the shop is closed today. so shop around. then head to cathay to watch movie. after movie slack at starbucks. chatted with the partners. then went home with jess, jia en and zaki, all are my colleagues. =] hahas.
ohh yeah! tomorrow i'm starting workkk.. =] hahas. yes!! finally. closing for me tomorrow! actually is closing for the whole week.. off on thursday and friday.. =] cool~~ (: yesssa. okays. nothing much to blog. i wanna sleep already... NIGHTS...
谢谢你愿意改变自己，
来融入我的生活。
我爱你...
presents time... =]
from pris, eric, micheal and jaslyn..
from lynnee and lucas..
from micheal's family. ^^
from sky, eddy and eric (IC's).
from ziwei.. THIS WAS SENT TO MY HOUSE!!! (:
from vivian.. =]
from leon (IC's), amy, fei and some others i forgot. hahas.=]
AND NOW, MY BABY AND ME!! (:
CATHAY! (:
okays. off to bed. nights.
rate : 1/5
TOTAL BORING-NESS. waste money. i almost fell asleep during the movie. haha.
crap. okays. yes! A LOT of people wished me happy birthday. hahas. the very first was zaid, from my workplace. hahas. then so on and so on.. AJ wished me the cutest.. ' HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS ' hahas. so cool right. (: i'm the little princess and will always be. =] see so many people dote on me! (: hehees. *bleahs. don't jealous, cause no matter how you jealous, you'll never be me. =] hahas.
okays. update from thursday yeah..
thursday i woke up around 1pm.. called jaslyn.. then she came my house at around 3pm.. slack here.. then after i bathe for my baby.. and after i get ready, we leave my place at 6pm, when we're suppose to meet at 6pm. HAHA. then cab to plaza singapura. hahas. meet up with the skaters. then go to cathay to collect the movie tickets first. the back to plaza singapura to meet the rest.. had ajisen ramen for dinner. hahas. just so nice bumb into the WG members. and seductive members. (: had some chats. then went for a smoke.. back to ajisen.. then had the dinner.. hahas. after dinner slowly walk to cathay to meet some of those who went straight to cathay at the lan shop. took some photos.. haha. but all with jasmine.. waiting for her to upload them. =] hahas. yupps.
after gathering everyone, we went to watch iron man at the grand cathay. =] fucking funny lahhs the show! i rate it 4.5/5. hahas. don't mind watching it again though. ^^ hahas. have yet to watch forbidden kingdom.. skater leon said he's gonna watch with me! =] HAHAS. yesssssss. but don't know when we'll be free.. lol.. hopefully soon. =] hahas. after the movie, meet outside cathay.. smoking session.. and see the WG members again.. they're heading towards MOS.. then yifan ask me to go.. hahas. then.... hmm.... okays.. decided to go with them cause they skaters have yet to made up their mind. so yeahh.. before i go off to MOS, had a talk with zac for about half an hour.. then cab to MOS with yifan and jaslyn. hahas. meet my cousin at MOS's taxi stand. then to MOS we go! =] hahas. it's my cousin's first time ever clubbing in singapore. -.- funny.. she's 21 this year okay! hahas. but hope she enjoyed herself. (: AND.. AND.. i SHUFFLED! (: finally after so long.. manage to shuffle a little.. hahas. cool~ hehees. yupps. then clubbed until 3:45am. go to macdonald's and slack. cab home with yifan, jaslyn and my cousin. sleep soon after i reach home. =] I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! and i'm gonna be 21 next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehees. >.<
woke up at 2pm on friday.. get ready and go down to katong shop.. dinner at aston.. then head to east coast.. cause no one at rink.. so went to lan shop.. played DOTA! =] hahas. last time i didn't play.. find the character damn fugly.. well.. it's still fugly.. but the game is quite nice to play lahhs. =] hahahas. cool!~ i like~ hahas. hook on to DOTA like that. =] hahas. later at night DM they all came.. then i skate to bedok jetty with him.. wanted to see the people to catch sotong.. but not a good day i guess.. didn't have the chance to see. :( slack at bedok jetty for a while then we head to lagoon to get some drinks. and head back to the rink. had some heart to heart chat with DM.. well, thanks Micheal for the support.. (: and thanks for telling me all those things to make me realise what have been happening. well well... it's not actually complicated isn't it? i didn't in any way show any interest. he's just a friend! nothing else. no chemistry, no interest, nothing. yes, nothing. no feeling at all.. back home around 3am after eating supper with the skaters. hahas. sleep after one match of dota. =]
saturday woke up at 3pm. then slackkk... omg. i'm so lazy to type out everything. -.- okays. went to east coast, dinner at hong kong cafe. skate until 1.30am. drink until 4.30am. back home.. sleep after bathe. okays. that's it.
today woke up at 3pm. get ready and go out after eating. went to bugis. wanted to plug eyebrown but the shop is closed today. so shop around. then head to cathay to watch movie. after movie slack at starbucks. chatted with the partners. then went home with jess, jia en and zaki, all are my colleagues. =] hahas.
ohh yeah! tomorrow i'm starting workkk.. =] hahas. yes!! finally. closing for me tomorrow! actually is closing for the whole week.. off on thursday and friday.. =] cool~~ (: yesssa. okays. nothing much to blog. i wanna sleep already... NIGHTS...
谢谢你愿意改变自己，
来融入我的生活。
我爱你...
presents time... =]
from pris, eric, micheal and jaslyn..
from lynnee and lucas..
from micheal's family. ^^
from sky, eddy and eric (IC's).
from ziwei.. THIS WAS SENT TO MY HOUSE!!! (:
from vivian.. =]
from leon (IC's), amy, fei and some others i forgot. hahas.=]
AND NOW, MY BABY AND ME!! (:
CATHAY! (:
okays. off to bed. nights.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
just so happen..
i read zac's blog. reading the way he wrote about me. telling everyone he's not going bother about me and stuffs before his enlistment.. telling everyone he don't know if he should move on.. i have some feelings in me..
he made me feel that he want to be with me is not because he loves me. is because he's just used to having me by his side. cause from what he said.. ( five years of time will be WASTED if he were to move on ). and all he want to do is to skate. and nothing else. then what for? what for keep telling me that he will sacrifice everything, including skating for me. for i know he will never do that. and what for tell me all sorts of things? like missing me and stuffs. why? you know i'll get soft hearted. so stop doing all these. i don't want myself to end up with lots of disappointments again.. i don't want myself to fall back in again.. i don't want myself to get hurt.. nor want myself to cry over you again.
you said in your blog, once it's gone, it's gone forever... then why bother coming back? ain't it supposed to be gone forever? you said you're gonna tell me the last time you're missing me.. then why keep on telling me even until now? you said you gave up.. you're gonna forget about everything and move on.. 8 march 07, you said :
***8 March 07 , 6am, i decided to give up completely on kat. im not waiting anymore.. i got to move on.
Kat, the 5yrs being with u.. there is up & down, happiness & sadness.. now, we decided not to be togther anymore, hopefully will be a wise move. Sry Kat, i need a girl who will love me more! Not a girl wh is half hearted! i dun wan to be sharing a gal with the other guy. And i need someone who is more understanding & lady like, unlike u, yours voice is always the loudest, jus like Terence. ***
this is what you wrote exactly. i'm never the girl for you. i've been the one. what do you see in me? why do you keep coming back and leaving again? what do you want to do to me? confusing my feelings times and again.. throwing me away as and when you like.. why? we were never like this.. the first 2 years we were fine.. but why?
-quote from zac's blog, 16 February 07-
*** i got to enjoy myself and hv all the fun that i nv had thx to kat!! Becos of her, my life = no life.***
with me around.. you're having no life.. then why bother wanting me back? you should just move on.. and not coming back anymore. like what you said.. we could be a much happier person this way.. but why? why come back and tell me all those things? why do you have to do this to me all the time? leaving.. and after you left.. tell me all sorts of things to make me soft hearted.. why do you have to do this to me? WHY?
*** For kat..
Being with u all this 5yrs.. im really happy..even tho we quarrel, im still happy..being with u makes me happy.. and my happy moment ended here.. My dream die at this very moment.. For the very last time.. Kat.. i love u..
Hope everything goes well for u.. see u...
luv, zac ***
dream died. your last time. everything is not what was said. you still wanna come back..
did you see what you've done to me the past years? can you see what you've done to me?! did you see what kind of a person you've turn me to? every of my changes take place because of you. if not for you, i wouldn't be harsh. if not for you, this relationship could have been stable by now. if not for your ' bitch, cheap, slut and causing miseries to your life ', i wouldn't have change. things wouldn't have change.
and now, if not for your ' fuck off from my life ', we wouldn't be like this. can you see? can you see what have you turned me into? can you see what kind of a person you turn me to? can you see? the current kat, is who you've turn her into over the years.
think about it yourself, if you were me.. what would you have done? what would you do now? you left me with a confusing mind.. expecting me to be there for you still. want me to spend the rest of my life with you.. want me by your side forever.. with all these past memories.. what will you do, if you were to be me?
即使我是爱你的，
我也很难回到你身边。
想要和你在一起的心虽有，
可是伤心比快乐还要多。
与其你我都伤心。。。
不如让我放了你，
让你寻找你的幸福。
不能让你我开心，
只好我放了你，
让你开心。
i just want you to be happy, that's all.
he made me feel that he want to be with me is not because he loves me. is because he's just used to having me by his side. cause from what he said.. ( five years of time will be WASTED if he were to move on ). and all he want to do is to skate. and nothing else. then what for? what for keep telling me that he will sacrifice everything, including skating for me. for i know he will never do that. and what for tell me all sorts of things? like missing me and stuffs. why? you know i'll get soft hearted. so stop doing all these. i don't want myself to end up with lots of disappointments again.. i don't want myself to fall back in again.. i don't want myself to get hurt.. nor want myself to cry over you again.
you said in your blog, once it's gone, it's gone forever... then why bother coming back? ain't it supposed to be gone forever? you said you're gonna tell me the last time you're missing me.. then why keep on telling me even until now? you said you gave up.. you're gonna forget about everything and move on.. 8 march 07, you said :
***8 March 07 , 6am, i decided to give up completely on kat. im not waiting anymore.. i got to move on.
Kat, the 5yrs being with u.. there is up & down, happiness & sadness.. now, we decided not to be togther anymore, hopefully will be a wise move. Sry Kat, i need a girl who will love me more! Not a girl wh is half hearted! i dun wan to be sharing a gal with the other guy. And i need someone who is more understanding & lady like, unlike u, yours voice is always the loudest, jus like Terence. ***
this is what you wrote exactly. i'm never the girl for you. i've been the one. what do you see in me? why do you keep coming back and leaving again? what do you want to do to me? confusing my feelings times and again.. throwing me away as and when you like.. why? we were never like this.. the first 2 years we were fine.. but why?
-quote from zac's blog, 16 February 07-
Again.. i gave up.. ( For my Beloved Zixin..)
once agn.. i gave up hope.. but i had no regrets. I had done my part to make u happy, make u smile, give in to u, give u my utmost care & concern but not jealousy or demanding. im glad i can really treat a girl nicely, as a girlfriend. Thx for allowing me to proof my love towards u, and thx for allowing me to treat u like my princess..jus like fairy tales..
But one thing u wouldnt wish to know.. the Dark Truth of Fairy Tales is that all Fairy Tales comes with a bad ending.
& this is the reason why i gave up believing in fairy tales..
If there is a chance to let me take care of u, not for a moment, but for a life time, let me know. I will do my very best to make u a happier person, add colours to your life & be your companion of your life time...
Luv u always..
zac
***
*** i got to enjoy myself and hv all the fun that i nv had thx to kat!! Becos of her, my life = no life.***
with me around.. you're having no life.. then why bother wanting me back? you should just move on.. and not coming back anymore. like what you said.. we could be a much happier person this way.. but why? why come back and tell me all those things? why do you have to do this to me all the time? leaving.. and after you left.. tell me all sorts of things to make me soft hearted.. why do you have to do this to me? WHY?
*** For kat..
Being with u all this 5yrs.. im really happy..even tho we quarrel, im still happy..being with u makes me happy.. and my happy moment ended here.. My dream die at this very moment.. For the very last time.. Kat.. i love u..
Hope everything goes well for u.. see u...
luv, zac ***
dream died. your last time. everything is not what was said. you still wanna come back..
did you see what you've done to me the past years? can you see what you've done to me?! did you see what kind of a person you've turn me to? every of my changes take place because of you. if not for you, i wouldn't be harsh. if not for you, this relationship could have been stable by now. if not for your ' bitch, cheap, slut and causing miseries to your life ', i wouldn't have change. things wouldn't have change.
and now, if not for your ' fuck off from my life ', we wouldn't be like this. can you see? can you see what have you turned me into? can you see what kind of a person you turn me to? can you see? the current kat, is who you've turn her into over the years.
think about it yourself, if you were me.. what would you have done? what would you do now? you left me with a confusing mind.. expecting me to be there for you still. want me to spend the rest of my life with you.. want me by your side forever.. with all these past memories.. what will you do, if you were to be me?
即使我是爱你的，
我也很难回到你身边。
想要和你在一起的心虽有，
可是伤心比快乐还要多。
与其你我都伤心。。。
不如让我放了你，
让你寻找你的幸福。
不能让你我开心，
只好我放了你，
让你开心。
i just want you to be happy, that's all.
1st may 2008.
marks the day i'm 20. (:
old already. no more teenage life. yupps. time to settle down lers.
am looking forward to the dinner and movie with the skaters. total a 22 of them will be going. (: so happy! (: hahas. gonna be such a havoc. hopefully we'll have an enjoyable night yeah! (: yupps. for two years, i'm celebrating my birthday as a single status. last year also single. this year also. well.. too bad for myself then.
though i hope every year i will have someone, dropping by my house and giving me a bouquet of my favourite blue roses. and bring me out on a romantic date. but so far.. it haven't happen for the past twenty years. and i guess it won't be happening any near future. for now, i just hope i can be happy and people around me happy can lers. i just hope i'll have peaceful days. even if i got into a relationship one fine day.. i hope to have a peaceful and happy one. i have no more strength to fight anymore. i'm tired of always fighting. i just wanna have a simple relationship and have it last forever. but it just seems so hard to fulfill. hais. my life is not meant to be smooth. which is so fuck up. and it's a fuck up feeling having life like this. i wish i can change my life. well, sucks to be me.
anyways, today is my birthday! i'm the princess of the family now! my queen is so jealous of me having so many friends with me to celebrate with me. aww queen, i'll celebrate with you on yours k? (: hahas. mummy i love you and you know!~ (:
okays. i think i should go and sleep lers. later jaslyn coming over to my place.. (: ICIANS DAY OUT! woots~!!
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