19 May Horoscope

Taurus: Special attention to and from a partner is what you should be trying for today. Set aside some private time so no one else can get in the way of the feelings you want to share. You need to use your imagination to make your love life as sensational as possible. The energies are working with you to give your fantasies a real boost. So if you can get your brain cells moving, you should be able to think up some wonderful ideas to amuse, delight, and seduce your latest heart throb. Remember that flattery will get you everywhere if you use it with that fine skill you have worked on for some time. Execute the plan you created and watch your loved one turn to putty at your feet. Enjoy the benefits of a hard day’s work.

14 May Horoscope

Taurus: If you have been feeling upset and resentful over certain events that have transpired recently then use this opportunity to take a step back, and see it all from a new and different perspective. Today’s energies will help you to see a difficult relationship situation in a new light. Listen closely to any small, persistent messages you may receive because they will add up to a bigger picture in your relationship. Now, don’t try to understand it all at once, just let the pieces of the puzzle put themselves together until everything is clear. All will be revealed in the end with a little patience. When everything is revealed then use humor to help heal this rift. When it comes to the wounds of the heart, nothing is better.

Running Away

Sudden urge to go overseas alone. 

Self Doubting.

Sometimes I guess it's inevitable to self doubt.

Doubt the abilities and capabilities that I have to keep what's so dear to me with me. 

I suppose I need to have an open heart to welcome whatever negative things that might come my way, even when things look so perfect now. 

A Dream Come True.

Okay, I really neglected my blog. Actually so is my dayre. I'm getting lazy to update. I haven't completed my Taiwan trip entry with Love. =\ I'll try to do it soon. Haha. 

So, today I return with the next phrase of my life..

I'm engaged..

To the man I would sacrifice my life for. =) 

Everything is still so surprising for me even until now. It's just a dream come true. The man I wanted to marry since I'm 16.. Too unbelievable. 

It was a successful surprise proposal which I wanted. I'm thankful for those who played a part in it and all keeping me in the dark! Can't believe there was almost 20 of us yet I'm the only one who doesn't know anything. Thinking back, I think I'm quite silly not to realize what was happening when Love dressed so formally which he don't normally do. Though I asked him why he wear until so nice but he told me it's for my birthday so I didn't think too much. He was smart enough to propose on that day cause I wouldn't have thought too much into it since it's a combine celebration for Wilson and I. Haha. 

So I'm soon-to-be a Mrs. We haven't set any dates yet and somehow we're taking things slow. Not in a rush anyway.. We have a lot of things to do from now on.. I need to give Love more time too. We haven't select our wedding band too.. Probably when Love is back from Vietnam next week. But he's gonna be busy with work so I guess we have to make some time for all these stuffs. 

Bridal fair next week and I'll be going with Livia to accompany her since her fiancé won't be in town and Love said he will go with us. Haha. =) BOWS wedding fair is coming too so I guess we might just go down to have a look too. Haha. 

Dates have yet to confirm but I guess it's good to be prepared for all these? ^.^ 

I feel my birthday this year is overrated. Love is over the top by proposing and giving a Tag Heuer watch on top of the proposal ring. We went to alter the ring size cause it seems too huge for me and since I'm on diet.. I'm afraid it can't fit once I slim down. =\ so I told Love that I want to alter it. It's gonna be a 10-14days wait for the alteration to be done. 

It's the first time since we're together that Love is going overseas for a few days and I'm not used to this. I'm okay with me being the one overseas but not the other way round. It's weird waking up not having Love next to me since we've been staying together. I'm back at my place today since he's away and it's Mother's Day so I can spend some time with momsie. I haven't been a good daughter because I've been spending too much time with Love. >.< 

Anyway, on top of the engagement, my PR has been granted on my first try! I'm so happy and excited!!! Finally I've gotten my PR!! It has been in my list for the longest time! Hahaha. It's a good thing now because Love and I are gonna view houses and get one soon. Love wants to get resales flat cause he doesn't want to wait for BTO and he feels that resale flats are bigger in space. He was told of a 5A flat at tampines is on sale so he wanted me to view it with him. We will do that when he's back from Vietnam as well. 

Seems like there's so many things to be done but I don't seems to have enough time!!! =( 

I haven't been meeting up a lot of people because of work and my personal stuffs but soon I will...... Make time for people. I've been staying at home with Love too much until I MIA from people. Hahahaha. Typical 重色輕友. I don't deny I am. But only for Love I would. I've never given any other guys this treatment. Heh. 

Okay I'm tired. I should sleep now. Goodnight! 

Dayre.

http://dayre.me/d0lphiin

I have been updating on dayre instead. 

Short and sweet entries. 

But I'll still come back here whenever I feel like pouring my heart out. =) 

Dear YOU.

Again, I'm disappointed with you. Very disappointed. But I've said all I could and explaint all I can. This is what you choosed and I completely respect that. 

Having to hear from other people that it's you who wants to close up yourself from me somehow made me firm with my decision. 

You were my best friend, a friend whom I regard as more than a friend, more like a family, a sister I never had. But today, I decided, I'm letting this friendship go. I'm not gonna make anymore extra efforts to make things better. I believe I've given you enough time to sort whatever is in your mind and I've given you the due respect that a friend should be giving. 

12 years.. 12 years of friendship is nothing compared to someone you barely even know. I got your message. 

You feel injustice for her, 你为她感到不值. You listen to her story and choose to doubt me in return by believing her. Because of what? You feel you've been treated the same way? Or you feel that she's like you, regret for what she's done and she deserves a second chance? To be honest, she had her second chance and she destroyed her second chance herself. If she wants to blame me, I have nothing to say. If she feels that she deserves him more than I do, show me. If she's capable of keeping him, go ahead and ask him to be with her. 

"If you want to be with him so much, ask him to break up with me." This is what she told me before and yes, I did told him that before. But I told him, if he feels that he don't love her anymore then don't be with her. You said the same thing to me before and now you tell me "你为她感到不值"? Whatever happened to 'he should break up with her'? 

I have a complicated love life in the past but I'm done with that. I don't want that life anymore, am I wrong to go for what I want? You don't have the courage and determination to fight for what you really love, is that why? I just don't want any regrets. I don't want to regret what I could have done in the future, like you. You have so many 'could have(s)' but never did. I don't want to live with regrets and fucked up my own life. 

I'm angry, very angry. Angry for the fact that my best friend takes pity on someone she barely even know and bought her story as some pathetic girl being bullied and needs sympathy. I have a strong character, I have an independent self. But that doesn't mean I don't need to be taken care of and cared for. After all I'm still human and I need to be loved. 

The person who's in the wrong will never admit that they are. Have you? Will you? Have you ever felt that you relationship failed was because of yourself? We're you remorseful? Do you know what went wrong? You were never there since the day Eric left. You never helped in the process of this recovery from this fucked up guy. Who was there? Not you. We both broke up on the same day last year and I wanted to be there for you yet all you did was to push me away. Further and further away. Is that my fault? 

I'm upset, very upset. You had no idea how many times have I cried because of you, because of this friendship. But I've straighten out my thoughts. I'm giving up, I'm leaving, I'm letting go of this friendship. 

What is the point of me holding on to a friend who doesn't treasure this friendship as much as I do, as much as I valued her? Don't. Don't tell me sorry at this time. Don't send me requests on Facebook listing me as your sister when you obviously forgotten about me, this friendship and all that we've shared because of one stranger you just knew. 

Don't tell me anything now because I don't want to hear anything anymore. 

"好马不吃回头草" yes I did told a lot of people this back almost 6 years ago and a lot of people told me the same thing. Right now, I would say that this 回头草 I ate is the best thing I've ever eaten. I had my doubts when things started. It wasn't easy for me, nor him. I didn't trust him at the start. We came a long way to gain this trust again. And now that we're both doing fine, people want to ruin it? Why is it that whenever I have something pleasant in life, someone have to destroy it? Just like Eric and his fucked up certain friends. 

Ruin it for all I care. Destroy it for all you want. It's not like this is the first time someone do this to me. Tell her I said this and get her to do something about it. I'm not as cunning and scheming as her. I'm straightforward. I don't twist my words the way she do. I'm a Taurus not a Capricorn. Neither am I some Libra who likes to have a messy and confused life. I'm not afraid to be alone again. I'm not afraid to face this practical and realistic world by myself again. 

I'm done with these shits and that's it. I'm leaving for good. 

Goodbye to you, my 12 years of bestie. 

Irony

Ironically, the more you give your heart to someone, the more power they have to tarnish it. 

Sometimes it's not hurt hurts. But more of 'am I up for it?' kinda feeling. 

I love you, that's no doubt. Since day 1 we were together back in 2002. And I know you have no intention to hurt me this time other than providing me with the best you could. 

Problem is me I suppose. Am I able to keep up with the constant changes? Am I ready to concede defeat and lose myself all to you again? Am I ready to give you all I have now? I'm held back by my own wild thoughts and things that I've thought too far ahead. 

A stable and comfortable life, you're already giving me these. A man who loves me, yes you are. 

What is wrong with me? Feels like I'm like Christian Grey. Fifty shades of fucked up. 

Arghhh! I'm not saying we're not getting along well. We're very good together. Just that my mind is kinda fucked up. =( 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Merry Christmas! 

My Christmas was simple and well spent! Heh. I don't really blog a lot now cause I've started writing diary instead. But this Christmas I'm very happy so I decided to share my Christmas present on my blog!! 

Love got me a new phone! And I got him a new wallet! Hehehehehe. Feeling so loved and pampered everyday!! =D 

Can't wait for tomorrow's short getaway with Love and his family to malaysia!! =D 

Monotonous But Stable Life.

I love my life now. seriously. =) 

Mom accepted Love finally and we are all good for anything.! heh. 

life has been on track, being all stable and maybe it's boring to a lot of people but I love this life. 

it's a routine I don't ever wanna change. =) waking up in the morning next to Love then getting myself prepared for work and waking Love up for work and him sending me to work and having him to fetch me after work and having dinner together has became a habit for us. a good habit that we both love. haha. and of course, not forgetting that we meet Wilson almost everyday. haha! a very simple life but something that we both treasure. 

I have to admit that sometimes I get too engrossed with work and totally neglected Love which resulted in him complaining about my work now.. I'm guilty for that and I know he doesn't like me to work. like that he said, he will let me do what I want to do now cause he knows that ultimately I will still end up staying at home looking after kids and be housewife. -.- Love has been asking me to take BTO but I haven't gave him any answer regarding this. I know he's all ready to commit and he's being all serious. but... =\ 

well it's just part and parcel of life that I need to face. haha. it's not a bad thing actually. heh. =) 

till I update again! byebye! 

 i love you bi. =)