WhosGoing. - Clubbers Paradise. (:

yupps. it's about WhosGoing. i just joined the group named Clubbers Paradise. (: CP in short. a group of fun people i can say. nice too. especially the management in charge jeffery. he open bottle for us on yesterday when we were at MOS. like two bottles of chivas and a lot more side drinks. hahas. (: he was so nice to me even though it's our first meeting. (: and he send a lot of us home. how cool.. (: upload the photos soon.. actually uploading.. later will post them upp. well.. by the time you people reading.. it's already upp. lols. i think i should upload it to slide.com as usual. (: hahas. yupps. then no need to say so much.

had fun at MOS last night. well, yarh.. went to had breakfast at macs.. 5am please. hahas. (: then jeffery send us home. hahas. by maxi cab! lols. yupps. home around 7am. the sleep at 9am.. didn't sleep well.. woke upp at 1pm.. then sleep back and woke upp at 3pm. throughout the sleep.. i wasn't really resting. like feeling damn shitty lahh. arghh!! maybe cause i drank quite a lot last night bahh. stupid doven.. keep making me drink chivas. lucky got mixer. hahas. (: hahas. but okay lahh.. wasn't drunk. (: that's the important one. hahahahahas. long chat with CPians on the way back. saturday got steamboat session with them.. wondering if i should go.. jeffery ask me to go. LOL. hahas. i think even if i go.. i'm only going for the dinner. after i'll be leaving.. hahas. how cool. hahahas. (: well, whatever~ hahas.

okays.. photos time..

the last few posts...

like the title.. this is gonna be like my.. don't know how many post. the last few.. before i go back to malaysia. yupps. i quit gelare. or rather should i say i got sack? lols. hahas. yarh.. problem lies with me. well, they gave me a chance. but i gave it upp. kinda stupid i realise. after two days of resting at home. -my so called MIA. well. yarh. slept basically the whole day.. didn't go out. well.. i don't wish to go anywhere.

two days back. had a chat with HIM. sort of.. talked things out and yarh.. true enough. i was affected. i don't feel like doing anything else. other than staying at home. well, i know i have to put my personal affair aside when it come to work. but, i can't. sorry.. well, reason why i left gelare is not because of him. it's because of my own bad habit. well, didn't feel like going anywhere is because of him..

cafe del mar's party.. i didn't go. though i can go.. but didn't feel like going anywhere. stay at home the whole day.. except for going to woodlands a while. then.. hmm.. lazy to blog down lahh.

well, HE said hi to me on msn today. but was afraid to be hurt so i ended the conversation very soon after that. then.. aiya.. my mind is blank. don't know what to write lahh.. seems to have a lot to write.. but nothing goes into my head. whatever~ like what he said i am. well.. okays.. i am..

nights.

MIA

i feel like MIA for some time. other than workplace and home. nowhere else you'll see me. don't bother calling me. don't bother finding me. cause i don't wanna be found anywhere else.

-hurts.

:: if we're meant to be, we will be. ::

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!! (:

hahas. last night 12am.. i was at DXO. and i made a call to my mom to wish her happy mothers' day. (: she was damn happy. hahas. well, though i'm a MUMMY of three daughters.. but ONLY ONE wished me happy mothers' day. and that is MELISSA. lols. the other two all died. :( how sad. no wishing. and my son-in-law also never wish me. hahas. HOW BAD CAN THAT BE!! hahas.

lols. last night party with LOTSA people. fun fun!! (: hahas. james.. aloy.. gary.. terry.. dolly.. bernard.. arthur.. AND MELISSA. hahas. FUN! (: after party went to eat BAR CHOR MEE at boat quay. hahas. then slack a while. and i came over to mel's house. YES I"M STILL AT HER HOUSE NOW!!! and i mean, NOW!! here blogging too. (: hahas. just woke upp like an hour ago. hahas. -yawns. tired. we both simply chatted like until 8am.. before we sleep. lols. funny. hahas. long chat.. again.. about life and relationship. hahas. forever non-stop. lols. hahahahahas.

a pity james left early cause he got muay thai training today. his competition coming in one month's time. GOOD LUCK JAMES. bring back the medal mann!! hahas. yes you can do it. i'm sure of that. he's good muay thai-er. (: hahas. gogogogo! hahas. help james call bev last night. and some weird people talk to us. and james got irritated. cause he misses bev. so i called him to let him talk to him. end upp he was like, using vulgarities on the phone. =_= hahas. nevertheless he spoke to bev at last lahh. and james told him that he misses him. and before they hang upp, james said ' i love you ' to bev. hahas. so sweet!! lols. i wanna say that too!! hahas. (: (:

okays.. i'm lazy to blog already. blog again another day! (: hahas. (:

the good news. (:

i got a piece of good news.. i suppose it is good. (: i heard that bev may be coming back in july instead of december. though it's not confirm.. but i'm still SUPER HAPPY TO HEAR THIS!!!! (:(:(:(: hahas. days pass so fast when i'm feeling happy, enjoying myself. (: and this makes the days waiting for his return not so terrible for me. (: and i believe i can do it. a test for us. and i believe we both can face it. or rather a test for myself i should say.. (: hahas.

ohh my godd. i have been partying like mad! party until i'm going broke. SHIT! hahas. but i had fun lahh. hehees. a lot more parties coming upp. lols. but i doubt i'm going for all. though i hope i can go lahh. hahas. i wanna go cafe del mar!!! but i don't think i have time to go. will be working i guess. :( sads. anyways, view my friendster to check out for the parties dates. (: PM me on MSN about the details. (: hahas. i will only entertain people i feel like entertaining. so those i don't reply.. you should know how to fuck off yourself and don't fucking annoy me. thanks. (: hahas. i'll block you if you anooy me. hahas. (: lols.

anyways, got like four daysof suspension from work. whatever~ actually i don't really bother. well, those of you who read this and is from gelare.. know what? after xinyan and janet left.. i totally have no mood to go work. so to PANTAT AND STEPH. if you all wanna go.. tell me also. thanks. (:

i've been resting at home. hmm, went to MOS on thursday night. before that terry came over to my house. to meet my mom for a while. cause my mom has been wondering the terry i always hang out with is who. so to ease her mind, i brought terry to meet upp with my mom. and guess what my mom told him? HE'S TOO SKINNY!! hahas. funny. after that i change and we left for MOS. hahas. (: MOS is super cramp!! and it's like.. damn fucking crowed?????? no space to walk even. hell many people. hahas. the music arhh.. a bit cocky also lahh. but still it's alright at the endof the day lahh. (: after MOS went to eat with dolly, dex and dawn. (: then go dawn's house slack a while. hahas. then home sweet home. (: lols.

yesterday went to rink. quite late. didn't really skate. consider slacking i think. lols. went for the BBQ. then back to rink. took photos and stuffs. well, yarh.. as usual. hahas. had supper at geylang then go home. (: hahas.i'll put upp the photos another day. i'm tired.. gotta go back to malaysia later. =_= now is like 7:14am. and i'm going back like around 12pm? then gotta rush back for DXO party. hahas. time don't seems to be with me. hahas. busy busy day.. lols.

okays.. i'm gonna sleep. (: bye hunks and babes. (:(:

nights sexy bev. HAHA.

part 2 - my rejections.

wells, i just got home from airport. now is like 9:29am? and i didn't sleep at all. i'm wondering how am i going to survive later. bev, give me some power. :( ohh my godd, like i'm fucking tired? SHIT. HOLYSHIT. anyways, sorry for my foul language. i'm nasty when i'm tired. feeling fucked upp when i'm tired.

anyways, when i was airport just now.. i had the feeling of saying bye on 27th january 2007. and was feeling super emo. super duper emo. upset.. how i wish that.. 27th january 2007 never come. and the day is 26th january 2007 FOREVER. and maybe things wouldn't have been what is it today. my life will be MUCH BETTER. and i'll still be a happy person ever after. yarh.. how i wish. HOW I WISH!! fuck that shit. it won't happen. -though i hope it will.-

back to my title. I WANNA REJECT. REJECT THE TWO GUYS. ohh please, i drop them like super duper fucking huge hints that i don't like them.. i'm waiting for bev. which part of the hint they don't get?!?!?! stupid piece of shit. well, i'm in bad mood. sorry.....

to bernard :
ber, i know you've been really nice and sweet to me. and i believe you're aware that i've bev in my heart. so please stop telling people i;m your girlfriend when i'm not. stop asking me to love you when you know it's not possible. stop telling me you miss me cause i don't really wanna know. i know i'm mean saying all these.. but i've already drop you a huge hint that says " I STILL MISS MY AUSTRALIA EX VERY MUCH. " is this sentence not obvious enough? then what do you want me to tell you? tell you to fuck off and wake upp your bloody idea? i don't wanna be totally mean to you cause you're my secondary school friend. i didn't wanna hurt your feelings so i drop you hints. i can always be your friend but stop your fantasy about me. friends friends friends and nothing else. AND, no matter how much you're alike to bev, i don't wish to know. cause you're not bev and you can never replace him. please understand this point. i treat you like an elder brother. nothing more than that. you can never give me the feeling that bev has given me.. cause you're not him, as simple as that. sorry.. i'm saying all these not because i'm pissed but because i hope before things get worse, it'll stop. ber, i know feelings can't be controlled. but love takes two. not one. if you still refuse to stop this.. all i can tell you is, sorry, i'm afraid i'll be avoiding you. so please.. don't force me to that extend.

to daniel :
well, i don't know if you'll get the chance to read this. but if you do.. i hope you get this into your head. firstly, I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL. not even as friends. you're just a worker from beach hut. and we hardly have conversations. the shocking part is you're like asking every of the crew to talk to me. now worse is your boss even come and talk to me. hellos? what the fuck?!?!?!?! why the hell it involves your boss? this is ridiculous. ohh my godd. please be more mature.. are you expecting everyone of them from beach hut to come and talk to me and get us together? well, sorry.. right from the start.. the answer is NO. cause i don't even know you.. and it's like.. WOW~ the whole beach hut knows. hellos? don't you think it's just infatuation? well, i don't mind making friends with you but please.. do something that a FRIEND will do rather than go round telling like, fucking everyone? you make me scared of you. and please.. don't always suddenly message me stuffs like, "hey is that you at the cashier?" well, is this some kind of stalking? ohh my godd. this is scary. you make me feel that you're watching everything i do and i don't feel comfortable at all. please i hope you can stop this.. and EVEN IF you're watching me, please don't ask me if it's me. cause it's really scary.

well, that's all i guess.. for this two guys. luckily krinze is not like that. at least he know how to leave me alone. and.. i hope krinze stopped his so called ' crush ' on me. whatever~ hopefully. he's just like a brother to me. nothing more than that. yupps.

had a chat with my granny on the way to airport.. told her about me and zac. and she told me a little of her story.. with my granpa. wells, life's like that. everybody goes through ups and downs. is mine consider down? i think i'm hanging in the middle. whatever. ARGHH. i need bev's hug. a tight hug from him.. but.. bev, can i hug you again? :( you're the only one i wanna have in my arms now..

it's 9:58am now. i think i'll go and take a rest and go to work. yupps. bye all.

her holiday.

ohh wells, my grandma is going to japan for holiday. for about a week. well, JAPAN!! i wanna go!!!! i've been wanting to go mann. =_= hahas. but i doubt so for now. :( sobs. hahas. anyways, hope she has a good trip. (: be back home sound and safe granny. (: buy me gifts please. hahas. (: lols. i'm gonna send her off at the airport later. airport.. reminds me of many things. me and bev first 'date' was at airport. send him off at airport. he watch aeroplanes with me.. haix.. all him.. anyways.. yupps. going airport in about half an hour time. now is like 5:34am? LOLS. hahas. hope i won't fall asleep when i'm coming home. lols. long way.. long way.. hahas. miss miss.. hahas. and on the way back.. it's gonna be another reminder of 27th january 2007. i cried on my way home. chat with him on my way home. and said our last few sentence. well, i miss him. for he's someone worth me missing and waiting. (:

anyways, i hope i can rely on coffee the whole day. it's gonna be a LONG day for me. :( later after i send granny off. i'll be coming home. then i HOPE i don't fall asleep. :( and i'm gonna work from 1-11pm. AND after work i'm going MOS for whosgoing ambassador's meeting. hahas. tertiary fling tonight. hope i have fun though. hahas. -tired can? and i'm working 1pm again on friday. pathetic. i think i need someone to teach me how to manage my time well. hahas. i'm a bad time manager. hahas. sounds a bit wrong.. but whatever. bad planner? hahas. lols. a LONG DAY PLEASE! pray i don't fall sick. HAHAS. okays.

well.. a lot to say. no time to blog down. gotta go and change and send my granny off. bye~ continue when i'm back. :(

missing YOU!
xoxo

a nice meeting. (:

yesterday finish work at 6pm. went to have dinner with steph at parkway. and was talking about the past. whatever that has happen at parkway.. memories.. bev.. and everything. was feeling emo lahh. but still.. hold on to whatever feelings i had and i have to stay strong. yes i have to. met upp with jimmy, trevor and nicole after dinner. chat with them and had some catch upp session. how sad.. jimmy is only gonna be back for the pathetic 12 days. and he have to return to taiwan. just like ben come back for a week.. then back to australia.. i don't like this feeling.. whenever someone dear leaves. the feeling hurts. i'm gonna miss jimmy.. he's not gonna be back until next year. club with him before he goes back man! i'll miss the night clubbing with him lohh. (: jimmy i'm gonna miss you.. please take good care of yourself in army. and leave me your number!! so i can call you! i'm gonna send you off next monday i swear! and give you the biggest hug ever. and take a lot of photos with you man! and i mean A LOT!!!!!

i'm off today.. don't feel like going anywhere actually. but i think i should east coast in a while. skate my unhappiness out. fall my sadness out.. yarh.. that's the only way i think i will make myself feel better. i don't wanna cry my heart out anymore. feeling hurt.. haix.. just one rejection.. and i'm devastated. my life has gone back to normal.. working and skating and meeting my girls. of course, going parties. well, that's something new. whatever. arghh. party is addictive. ohh my godd. yes it is. i wanna quit clubbing for some time. wanna rest more. yarh.. so don't tempt me with clubbing alright? hahas. yupps.

anyways.. DON'T MESSAGE ME CAUSE I CAN'T REPLY. my mom don't wanna pay my phone bill so now i can't reply to your messages. my outgoing calls are barred. whatever. call my house to find me. hahas. but i think you still can call me.. i can still receive your messages. hahas. (: lols. but i can call you or reply your messages lahh. lols. (:

okays.. i'm lazy to blog already. gonna eat and leave for east coast. bye bye!

he was the birthday boy. (:

thursday was bernard's birthday! (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNARD! hahas. 20 years old lerx. hahahahahahas. LOLS.

well.. i haven't been blogging lately.. lazy. hahas. anyways.. on bernard's birthday.. was out with him, arthur, mel and justin. hahas. it was a VERY LAST MINUTE meet upp. at siglap. then went to legend.. and guess what i did at legend? i order drinks for bernard. hahas. and guess what are they? FLAMING LAMBO AND WATERFALL! hahas. cool right? and guess what happen to bernard after that? HE PUKE! waste my money. lols. and he was drunk after that. arthur sent him home. hahas. damn funny. lols. and the two drinks add up to only SEVEN SHOTS. and bernard KO. hahas. and bernard don't believe i won't KO even if i drink both one after another. lols. cause he KO after drinking one after another. and guess what? he wanna make me drink both IF we're going st james on saturday. hahas. FUNNY! hahas. i'm working morning on sunday. i can't afford to get drunk lohh. hahas. so i guess i won't drink on saturday bahh. unless it's sunday. then i'll drink. cause monday i OFF! hahas. (: saturday and sunday i'm working until 6pm. I CAN SKATE AFTER THAT. (:

anways.. THANKS STEVEN AND TEAM. for the present and little celebration though i can't go over to cut the cake. :( cause of working. no choice. :( sobs. but still.. steven brough the cake over to gelare to me. and the present too. (: hahas. so sweet! (: i love moomoo. (: my beloved coach. hahas. he's the nicest! hahas. just like bev. -loves loves.

ohh wells.. hmm.. went to stay over at mel's house after celebrating with bernard. hahas. long chat with her. all about the guy from far away. and i was told something which i didn't even know. was touched and feeling sad though. haix.. baby if you have a choice.. why did you leave me behind? :(

hmm.. i miss bev.. very very much. and our memories.. keep flashing. flashing in my head. i want him back. but how to? he's just too perfect in my eyes.. and guess what? i have something evil in my mind. hahas. that will only come true if me and bev got back together. and i'm not gonna say anything about it now. hahas. (: i wish.. i hope. (: i hope my wish come true. HAHAS!

hmm.. missing a person is a nice feeling.. hahas. though i can't see him.. but i know he's in my heart.. since the day he left.. (: he's just too hot for me to resist. he just too close to my perfect boy. he's just the one.. the one for me.. and nobody! nobody can ever be like him.. no matter how similar they are to him. they can NEVER replace his position in my heart. cause he's the only one. and NO ONE ELSE. (: -sometimes sadness is a beginning to happiness.- and so, here i am.. believing everything he told me before. having hopes on him.. cause he's got my priority. and he really does. (: baby you got my heart.. yes you got.

okays.. i' gonna eat and sleep. tomorrow working morning. (: nights all. BYE!~

OHH I "REDEEMED" MY WATERFALL FROM BEACH HUT! MADE BY STEVEN. (:(:(:(:

if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home!

hahas. nice title right? hahahahahaas. actually from a song. NICE BEGINNING.. lols. funny. hahahahas. (:

well, the first person to wish me happy birthday was my PANTAT! thank you! (: my girls came to gelare to celebrate with me. hahas. so nice of them.. I LOVE THEM. will upload the photos soon. hahas. (: and guess what i got as present? a dress.. for me to go clubbing! COOL. i love i love. (: hahas. and a bottle f 12 years chivas from marie's boyfriend. hahas. COOL. second bottle of chivas already. =D hahas. after that beach hut's supervisor wanna treat me waterfall. hahas. but i go over too late. so boss say come back again. ahahas. (: yayy! nice. lols.

met upp with arthur and bernard they all.. then have some drink with them. hahas. bernard earn like 200 bucks in less than an hour? OMG! hahas. cool. hahas. and bernard spend the night at east coast chilling with me.. LOLS. thanks anyways. hahas. then we stayed until around 7:30am. and he send me home after we had breakfast. LOLS. thanks bro. hahas. his birthday is on thursday! how cool. so near mine. hahas. was thinking of if i should go butter factory on wednesday.. uniform party.. dont know what to wear sia.. lols. or should i go st james? HAHAS! don't know.. decide later. i'll see if the birthday boy is going. then maybe go and celebrate with him. hahas. pretty boy is going. and he gave me one ticket already. hahahahas. (: LOLS.

anyways.. i'm tired. blog again bahh.

THANKS GIRLS. I LOVE YOU ALL. =D