hellos. finally all entries are updated. hope you all won't blame for for the delay. cause i'm azy yeah?
hmm, that's all i wanna say today lahh. take care to all. love you guys much! :)
Sunday, April 23, 2006
finally it's all updated.
hellos. finally all entries are updated. hope you all won't blame for for the delay. cause i'm azy yeah?
hmm, that's all i wanna say today lahh. take care to all. love you guys much! :)
hmm, that's all i wanna say today lahh. take care to all. love you guys much! :)
Latest update! :)
14042006
Now is almost 3am. I'm still wide awake. Haix. Am bothered by something. Feeling sad. Very sad. I'm trying to cool myself down from what has happened. Never mind. I must be strong. I must learn to be a strong girl. Yeshh I must.
As usual, the reason for being sad, there is only one. Cause he is the only person who has the strongest ability to make a happy person, as well as a sad person. As for the reason why, I don't think it's nice to say it here. Neither do I think he will like it if he visits my blog.
First of all, I would want to announce something very pleasant. I got into Ngee Ann Poly. Got into their MTE. Though I don't really like this course like I love business, I choose to give it a try and do my best. I remember last Sunday I was so sad cause I didn't manage to hand in my o levels fees on time and I thought that will be the end of me. I wanted to give up studying and start my working life. When I told him about my decision of not wanting to study, he told me that he wants me to carry studying. The decision was finally made because I remembered what he told me when we were at inline culture that day – that he wants me to continue my studies. Though I quarreled with him the day before, but still, his words are always in my mind. I never at once forgot what he told me. At the same time, sorry to qianhui, junfeng and yuzhen they all cause I made them worry about me. Dada, I didn't disappoint you, I continued my studies. I didn't give up easily. I received Ngee Ann's call when I was in band on Wednesday. Was hesitating at first but.. in the end still took up the course. Cause of dada.
I feel like going back to Malaysia. In fact I am going. Most probably on Monday after going to Ngee Ann poly to submit my forms. I must get all my medical check ups and vision test done all by this week. I've yet to tell dada i'm going back. i'm frighten he won't let me go back. But of course, I will tell him, on the day I leave. Maybe he'll be reading my blog now and got to know about this before I even tell him. Sorry dear, for not telling you before hand. I just want to go back to relax myself for a few days before my poly starts on the 24th. Hope you understand. Take it as I owe you millions of sorry. i'll pay them back when i'm back. Really feeling very down now. don't know what I should do. I know if I were to confide my friends about this, they'll tell me i'm worth a better guy or whatsoever. Sorry friends, I gotta disappoint you guys already. You guys should know I won't listen to you all. You guys too, know my feelings for him is already beyond the word 'strong'. it's far too beyond it. Yeshh I may be silly, I may be stupid in the eyes of you people. But I hope you all will know it one day that, i'm doing this, because I really think that he's the guy for me. And it's definitely that I can't forget him. Maybe you all think that once I leave him, i'll accept another guy. Sorry once more. I won't and will never do that. Yeshh, i'm stubborn, but this is how crazy I can get when i'm really in love with a person. So my dear friends, you guys gotta worry about me for some time and at the same time, lend me your ears to let me throw tantrum on, to grumble to. Okays? You guys have been great pals and I love you all loads. :)
I'm trying to force myself to forget what has happened. So I can be as happy as ever. I wanna live each day happily, be it with him or anybody. Cause I wanna smile and not cry. Everything is possible; it is the matter of time. How long it will takes me to forget everything totally. But.. Some things can't be hurried.. So.. I will follow my heart now. don't wanna think so much now. Haix.
i'm very tired now, wanna sleep already. Later still gotta get up early to call Ngee Ann up about the forms etc. and i'm going chalet from Friday to Sunday!! :) hahas. Sunday is Demo Team's performance at Toa Payoh.. Yos Guys, Jia You!! You guys rock my world with freestyle! :)
okays. I think that's about all for today. Hand pain. Take care. :)
Oops, forget to mention the class dinner tonight. See you guys later! :)
Now is almost 3am. I'm still wide awake. Haix. Am bothered by something. Feeling sad. Very sad. I'm trying to cool myself down from what has happened. Never mind. I must be strong. I must learn to be a strong girl. Yeshh I must.
As usual, the reason for being sad, there is only one. Cause he is the only person who has the strongest ability to make a happy person, as well as a sad person. As for the reason why, I don't think it's nice to say it here. Neither do I think he will like it if he visits my blog.
First of all, I would want to announce something very pleasant. I got into Ngee Ann Poly. Got into their MTE. Though I don't really like this course like I love business, I choose to give it a try and do my best. I remember last Sunday I was so sad cause I didn't manage to hand in my o levels fees on time and I thought that will be the end of me. I wanted to give up studying and start my working life. When I told him about my decision of not wanting to study, he told me that he wants me to carry studying. The decision was finally made because I remembered what he told me when we were at inline culture that day – that he wants me to continue my studies. Though I quarreled with him the day before, but still, his words are always in my mind. I never at once forgot what he told me. At the same time, sorry to qianhui, junfeng and yuzhen they all cause I made them worry about me. Dada, I didn't disappoint you, I continued my studies. I didn't give up easily. I received Ngee Ann's call when I was in band on Wednesday. Was hesitating at first but.. in the end still took up the course. Cause of dada.
I feel like going back to Malaysia. In fact I am going. Most probably on Monday after going to Ngee Ann poly to submit my forms. I must get all my medical check ups and vision test done all by this week. I've yet to tell dada i'm going back. i'm frighten he won't let me go back. But of course, I will tell him, on the day I leave. Maybe he'll be reading my blog now and got to know about this before I even tell him. Sorry dear, for not telling you before hand. I just want to go back to relax myself for a few days before my poly starts on the 24th. Hope you understand. Take it as I owe you millions of sorry. i'll pay them back when i'm back. Really feeling very down now. don't know what I should do. I know if I were to confide my friends about this, they'll tell me i'm worth a better guy or whatsoever. Sorry friends, I gotta disappoint you guys already. You guys should know I won't listen to you all. You guys too, know my feelings for him is already beyond the word 'strong'. it's far too beyond it. Yeshh I may be silly, I may be stupid in the eyes of you people. But I hope you all will know it one day that, i'm doing this, because I really think that he's the guy for me. And it's definitely that I can't forget him. Maybe you all think that once I leave him, i'll accept another guy. Sorry once more. I won't and will never do that. Yeshh, i'm stubborn, but this is how crazy I can get when i'm really in love with a person. So my dear friends, you guys gotta worry about me for some time and at the same time, lend me your ears to let me throw tantrum on, to grumble to. Okays? You guys have been great pals and I love you all loads. :)
I'm trying to force myself to forget what has happened. So I can be as happy as ever. I wanna live each day happily, be it with him or anybody. Cause I wanna smile and not cry. Everything is possible; it is the matter of time. How long it will takes me to forget everything totally. But.. Some things can't be hurried.. So.. I will follow my heart now. don't wanna think so much now. Haix.
i'm very tired now, wanna sleep already. Later still gotta get up early to call Ngee Ann up about the forms etc. and i'm going chalet from Friday to Sunday!! :) hahas. Sunday is Demo Team's performance at Toa Payoh.. Yos Guys, Jia You!! You guys rock my world with freestyle! :)
okays. I think that's about all for today. Hand pain. Take care. :)
Oops, forget to mention the class dinner tonight. See you guys later! :)
Latest update! :)
14042006
Now is almost 3am. I'm still wide awake. Haix. Am bothered by something. Feeling sad. Very sad. I'm trying to cool myself down from what has happened. Never mind. I must be strong. I must learn to be a strong girl. Yeshh I must.
As usual, the reason for being sad, there is only one. Cause he is the only person who has the strongest ability to make a happy person, as well as a sad person. As for the reason why, I don't think it's nice to say it here. Neither do I think he will like it if he visits my blog.
First of all, I would want to announce something very pleasant. I got into Ngee Ann Poly. Got into their MTE. Though I don't really like this course like I love business, I choose to give it a try and do my best. I remember last Sunday I was so sad cause I didn't manage to hand in my o levels fees on time and I thought that will be the end of me. I wanted to give up studying and start my working life. When I told him about my decision of not wanting to study, he told me that he wants me to carry studying. The decision was finally made because I remembered what he told me when we were at inline culture that day – that he wants me to continue my studies. Though I quarreled with him the day before, but still, his words are always in my mind. I never at once forgot what he told me. At the same time, sorry to qianhui, junfeng and yuzhen they all cause I made them worry about me. Dada, I didn't disappoint you, I continued my studies. I didn't give up easily. I received Ngee Ann's call when I was in band on Wednesday. Was hesitating at first but.. in the end still took up the course. Cause of dada.
I feel like going back to Malaysia. In fact I am going. Most probably on Monday after going to Ngee Ann poly to submit my forms. I must get all my medical check ups and vision test done all by this week. I've yet to tell dada i'm going back. i'm frighten he won't let me go back. But of course, I will tell him, on the day I leave. Maybe he'll be reading my blog now and got to know about this before I even tell him. Sorry dear, for not telling you before hand. I just want to go back to relax myself for a few days before my poly starts on the 24th. Hope you understand. Take it as I owe you millions of sorry. i'll pay them back when i'm back. Really feeling very down now. don't know what I should do. I know if I were to confide my friends about this, they'll tell me i'm worth a better guy or whatsoever. Sorry friends, I gotta disappoint you guys already. You guys should know I won't listen to you all. You guys too, know my feelings for him is already beyond the word 'strong'. it's far too beyond it. Yeshh I may be silly, I may be stupid in the eyes of you people. But I hope you all will know it one day that, i'm doing this, because I really think that he's the guy for me. And it's definitely that I can't forget him. Maybe you all think that once I leave him, i'll accept another guy. Sorry once more. I won't and will never do that. Yeshh, i'm stubborn, but this is how crazy I can get when i'm really in love with a person. So my dear friends, you guys gotta worry about me for some time and at the same time, lend me your ears to let me throw tantrum on, to grumble to. Okays? You guys have been great pals and I love you all loads. :)
I'm trying to force myself to forget what has happened. So I can be as happy as ever. I wanna live each day happily, be it with him or anybody. Cause I wanna smile and not cry. Everything is possible; it is the matter of time. How long it will takes me to forget everything totally. But.. Some things can't be hurried.. So.. I will follow my heart now. don't wanna think so much now. Haix.
i'm very tired now, wanna sleep already. Later still gotta get up early to call Ngee Ann up about the forms etc. and i'm going chalet from Friday to Sunday!! :) hahas. Sunday is Demo Team's performance at Toa Payoh.. Yos Guys, Jia You!! You guys rock my world with freestyle! :)
okays. I think that's about all for today. Hand pain. Take care. :)
Oops, forget to mention the class dinner tonight. See you guys later! :)
Now is almost 3am. I'm still wide awake. Haix. Am bothered by something. Feeling sad. Very sad. I'm trying to cool myself down from what has happened. Never mind. I must be strong. I must learn to be a strong girl. Yeshh I must.
As usual, the reason for being sad, there is only one. Cause he is the only person who has the strongest ability to make a happy person, as well as a sad person. As for the reason why, I don't think it's nice to say it here. Neither do I think he will like it if he visits my blog.
First of all, I would want to announce something very pleasant. I got into Ngee Ann Poly. Got into their MTE. Though I don't really like this course like I love business, I choose to give it a try and do my best. I remember last Sunday I was so sad cause I didn't manage to hand in my o levels fees on time and I thought that will be the end of me. I wanted to give up studying and start my working life. When I told him about my decision of not wanting to study, he told me that he wants me to carry studying. The decision was finally made because I remembered what he told me when we were at inline culture that day – that he wants me to continue my studies. Though I quarreled with him the day before, but still, his words are always in my mind. I never at once forgot what he told me. At the same time, sorry to qianhui, junfeng and yuzhen they all cause I made them worry about me. Dada, I didn't disappoint you, I continued my studies. I didn't give up easily. I received Ngee Ann's call when I was in band on Wednesday. Was hesitating at first but.. in the end still took up the course. Cause of dada.
I feel like going back to Malaysia. In fact I am going. Most probably on Monday after going to Ngee Ann poly to submit my forms. I must get all my medical check ups and vision test done all by this week. I've yet to tell dada i'm going back. i'm frighten he won't let me go back. But of course, I will tell him, on the day I leave. Maybe he'll be reading my blog now and got to know about this before I even tell him. Sorry dear, for not telling you before hand. I just want to go back to relax myself for a few days before my poly starts on the 24th. Hope you understand. Take it as I owe you millions of sorry. i'll pay them back when i'm back. Really feeling very down now. don't know what I should do. I know if I were to confide my friends about this, they'll tell me i'm worth a better guy or whatsoever. Sorry friends, I gotta disappoint you guys already. You guys should know I won't listen to you all. You guys too, know my feelings for him is already beyond the word 'strong'. it's far too beyond it. Yeshh I may be silly, I may be stupid in the eyes of you people. But I hope you all will know it one day that, i'm doing this, because I really think that he's the guy for me. And it's definitely that I can't forget him. Maybe you all think that once I leave him, i'll accept another guy. Sorry once more. I won't and will never do that. Yeshh, i'm stubborn, but this is how crazy I can get when i'm really in love with a person. So my dear friends, you guys gotta worry about me for some time and at the same time, lend me your ears to let me throw tantrum on, to grumble to. Okays? You guys have been great pals and I love you all loads. :)
I'm trying to force myself to forget what has happened. So I can be as happy as ever. I wanna live each day happily, be it with him or anybody. Cause I wanna smile and not cry. Everything is possible; it is the matter of time. How long it will takes me to forget everything totally. But.. Some things can't be hurried.. So.. I will follow my heart now. don't wanna think so much now. Haix.
i'm very tired now, wanna sleep already. Later still gotta get up early to call Ngee Ann up about the forms etc. and i'm going chalet from Friday to Sunday!! :) hahas. Sunday is Demo Team's performance at Toa Payoh.. Yos Guys, Jia You!! You guys rock my world with freestyle! :)
okays. I think that's about all for today. Hand pain. Take care. :)
Oops, forget to mention the class dinner tonight. See you guys later! :)
Post
Dedication for him.
This entry is especially for the one and only man in my entire life - Lim Zhanyu Zac. It is a fact and it will never change because my love for him will never dies, never fade away but getting stronger with the flow of time. Now and forever. *This entry was supposed to be posted long ago, but due to some personal reasons, I did not, and am doing it now. *
Dada, I have a lot to tell youu but I cann only tell youu in words, not personally. I apologize for this and hope youu will understand. I am just too timid to tell youu face to face.
All these while, I have wanted to tell youu many things but dare not say. Maybe all the things that I mention now are the ones youu have been hoping to hear from miee all along. I am sorry for the delay. Maybe it is going to be too late or maybe it is going to be just on time. This is going to be longest dedication for youu ever I think. Therefore, I hope youu will have some patience to finish reading the whole dedication. Thank youu so much for reading this. :)
It has been a long time since youu read something from miee right. This is going to be the first one for the year and maybe the last one. Dada, listen carefully to whatt I am going to tell youu here. Remember youu asked miee whatt I like about youu for quite a number of time? And I failed to answer youu for as many time as youu ask. It is not that I do not know how to answer but do not know how should I phrase them well to tell youu. Being with youu for so long, never at once I like youu for whatt youu are. The Zhanyu I knew in 2002 and the Zhanyu I know today is really a big contrast. In whatt way, I am sure youu know it very well and I have been telling youu all these while. Nevertheless, I still love youu like before. Though in between, many things happened, I am never able to forget youu. Following are the reasons whyy I like youu. Youu are careless sometimes, blur sometimes, youu do not care about others, youu want to seek other's attention to tell them youu are capable in some ways, and youu never like to lose face in front of anybody because youu pride is so important to youu in your life. Lastly, youu are someone who wants to win everything that youu cann and when youu cannot achieve them, youu get very irritated and upset. All these reasons, makes miee want to stay with youu and love youu. These may sound to be like all your bad points but in my eyes, youu are not perfect without them and youu are definitely not yourself without them. They may be difficult to tolerate and sometimes I just explode because I cannot take it. Honestly speaking, without all these points, I will not realize my love for youu is actually so strong. Definitely, without them, we may be better or may be worse than now but nobody knows the answer. Simply in words, I never regret loving youu so deeply. Also, please never think that I love youu for whatt youu are. Youu must be wondering whyy am I so weird to like all youu bad points. Just to let youu know, this is where I find youu cute sometimes. Youu are just so lovable sometimes. Now youu know whyy I like youu? In addition, I hope youu know that when I just know youu, I did not know youu were smoking. I love the whole of youu but not smoking. I hope one day, youu will quit for our sake. As long as youu are willing, I will stay by youu until the end. Please? Haix ~
Yeshh, youu may say that many things happened and made youu lose trust in miee. However, my beloved, I never betray youu in any way. I tried to gain trust from youu again but youu still seems to be worrying a lot about miee. Has your love for miee become obsession? I hope it did not because love and obsession is two different things. I know youu want very much for miee to always be by your side but honey, we have our own commitments. I hope youu will not mind miee saying this now. I will take out my time to accompany youu but I cannot be with youu for twenty-four hours. I still have my family and friends. It is the same for youu, youu have your family and friends too. Even though I would be glad to spend every second with youu but I cannot be selfish. Neither cann youu. Alright? The both of us could spend just too many moments together. We have the time of our own, in our world, doing the things we love. We will not be short of time to do anything we are hoping for. Don't youu think so too? It is just the matter of whether we are willing to do it together or not. I am willing to do anything with youu, youu? Sometimes life has some critical decisions to be made. The decision can affect the person in short term or long term.
We were so close to ending this relationship recently, as for the reason, I shall not say it out, as somehow, it seems to be so embarrassing to let those who read my blog know. It is not something I am proud of. At last, we came to an agreement, as a mean for us to stay together again. Dada, I hope youu will carry out the agreement well. It has become something very important to miee. Well, having said so, I really didn't expect youu to tell miee that three and a half years of relationship cannot be compared to your cigarette. I feel so hurt. I was speechless. Other than tears, nothing could be seen on my face. Nevertheless, it has ended and I hope you will carry out the agreement as mentioned. Now, all I hope for is the both of us to be as happy and loving as we used to be before we go Malaysia. that's my only wish now. :)
Okiees lahh, this entry is definitely long enough fore you to read already. Loving and missing you always. Huggs.
Post
Dedication for him.
This entry is especially for the one and only man in my entire life - Lim Zhanyu Zac. It is a fact and it will never change because my love for him will never dies, never fade away but getting stronger with the flow of time. Now and forever. *This entry was supposed to be posted long ago, but due to some personal reasons, I did not, and am doing it now. *
Dada, I have a lot to tell youu but I cann only tell youu in words, not personally. I apologize for this and hope youu will understand. I am just too timid to tell youu face to face.
All these while, I have wanted to tell youu many things but dare not say. Maybe all the things that I mention now are the ones youu have been hoping to hear from miee all along. I am sorry for the delay. Maybe it is going to be too late or maybe it is going to be just on time. This is going to be longest dedication for youu ever I think. Therefore, I hope youu will have some patience to finish reading the whole dedication. Thank youu so much for reading this. :)
It has been a long time since youu read something from miee right. This is going to be the first one for the year and maybe the last one. Dada, listen carefully to whatt I am going to tell youu here. Remember youu asked miee whatt I like about youu for quite a number of time? And I failed to answer youu for as many time as youu ask. It is not that I do not know how to answer but do not know how should I phrase them well to tell youu. Being with youu for so long, never at once I like youu for whatt youu are. The Zhanyu I knew in 2002 and the Zhanyu I know today is really a big contrast. In whatt way, I am sure youu know it very well and I have been telling youu all these while. Nevertheless, I still love youu like before. Though in between, many things happened, I am never able to forget youu. Following are the reasons whyy I like youu. Youu are careless sometimes, blur sometimes, youu do not care about others, youu want to seek other's attention to tell them youu are capable in some ways, and youu never like to lose face in front of anybody because youu pride is so important to youu in your life. Lastly, youu are someone who wants to win everything that youu cann and when youu cannot achieve them, youu get very irritated and upset. All these reasons, makes miee want to stay with youu and love youu. These may sound to be like all your bad points but in my eyes, youu are not perfect without them and youu are definitely not yourself without them. They may be difficult to tolerate and sometimes I just explode because I cannot take it. Honestly speaking, without all these points, I will not realize my love for youu is actually so strong. Definitely, without them, we may be better or may be worse than now but nobody knows the answer. Simply in words, I never regret loving youu so deeply. Also, please never think that I love youu for whatt youu are. Youu must be wondering whyy am I so weird to like all youu bad points. Just to let youu know, this is where I find youu cute sometimes. Youu are just so lovable sometimes. Now youu know whyy I like youu? In addition, I hope youu know that when I just know youu, I did not know youu were smoking. I love the whole of youu but not smoking. I hope one day, youu will quit for our sake. As long as youu are willing, I will stay by youu until the end. Please? Haix ~
Yeshh, youu may say that many things happened and made youu lose trust in miee. However, my beloved, I never betray youu in any way. I tried to gain trust from youu again but youu still seems to be worrying a lot about miee. Has your love for miee become obsession? I hope it did not because love and obsession is two different things. I know youu want very much for miee to always be by your side but honey, we have our own commitments. I hope youu will not mind miee saying this now. I will take out my time to accompany youu but I cannot be with youu for twenty-four hours. I still have my family and friends. It is the same for youu, youu have your family and friends too. Even though I would be glad to spend every second with youu but I cannot be selfish. Neither cann youu. Alright? The both of us could spend just too many moments together. We have the time of our own, in our world, doing the things we love. We will not be short of time to do anything we are hoping for. Don't youu think so too? It is just the matter of whether we are willing to do it together or not. I am willing to do anything with youu, youu? Sometimes life has some critical decisions to be made. The decision can affect the person in short term or long term.
We were so close to ending this relationship recently, as for the reason, I shall not say it out, as somehow, it seems to be so embarrassing to let those who read my blog know. It is not something I am proud of. At last, we came to an agreement, as a mean for us to stay together again. Dada, I hope youu will carry out the agreement well. It has become something very important to miee. Well, having said so, I really didn't expect youu to tell miee that three and a half years of relationship cannot be compared to your cigarette. I feel so hurt. I was speechless. Other than tears, nothing could be seen on my face. Nevertheless, it has ended and I hope you will carry out the agreement as mentioned. Now, all I hope for is the both of us to be as happy and loving as we used to be before we go Malaysia. that's my only wish now. :)
Okiees lahh, this entry is definitely long enough fore you to read already. Loving and missing you always. Huggs.
April's updates
01042006
Today is April fool. Cause it’s 1 April. Yahh. I have not been blogging for a long time. The last time I blogged was about two months ago. After that was lazy to blog. Cause was very involved in skating and most of the time is at east coast. Or at inline culture. :)
Yupps. Today is here cause, I’m bored at home. So came to blog, with one hand! Haix~ how unfortunate can I be? I dislocate and fractured my wrist last Sunday while giving out flyers at east coast. Anyway, I wasn't very pessimistic about the whole accident. I take it, as god wants me to take a good rest before I start skating once more. Haix.. I don't blame anyone for my injury. Anyway, thank you to those who showed miee a lot of care and concern.. *but I want youu to be the one who show miee the MOST concern but youu didn't.. Haix~ * drop this, cause it really saddens miee when I actually recalls myself being told not to skate until I’m fully recovered!!! But something I really want to mention is - i'm finally in Demo Team!! Yeshh! i've been waiting for this moment and it finally came true!!! :) i'm very happy when Steven told me early this week!!! Because of this but at the same time, sad because the one whom I wish to see on my messaging list, my call register did not appear as often as others and instead of cheering miee upp, made miee sad. Haix~
Never mind.. Back here also because I have many entries to post. So is posting them all TODAY!!! :) Some entries were written long ago. It is either I missed out or did not want to post them out first. Those I missed out were the ones I wrote down on a piece of paper then type them out again. Bored yeah? Yahh indeed. Many some of youu finds miee madd but this is miee, think whatever way youu want to. i'm here to blog down my feelings and thoughts, not to blog down sweet stuffs to please any of youu.
Yesterday Maria, Wilson and dada came to visit miee. Due to time constraint, I went to meet them at yishun MRT at 11pm. Then walk around a while. Then they go back. I thought I should be happy seeing them but somehow I know i'm sad. I seriously don't know why. Cause before that I was excitingly expecting them to come. However, when i'm on my way home, I feel sad. Is it because I can't bear to see them leave? Or is it because I really miss skating? Or both? Or.. is it something else on my mind? Haix~ I feel sad, that is all I know. And I wish someone would be here to console me, cheer me upp. :( Definitely, I hope the someone is HIM!
Talked to Maria yesterday, because I was sad. Then she talks to me to cheer up. Thank you baby. At the same time, I was messaging Lynn, telling her my feelings about her etc. and she told me about Steven asked her about Demo Team and said we are in the last two slots. Glad she is finally in Demo too.
After that, I talk to dada, using handphone. *sorry I lied to you* told dada I spoke to Lynn. He seems to be pissed and this makes me feels even worse. Dada, you know by doing this, you didn't make me feel better? But make me get suspicious and wonder why are you reacting like this. I feel so insecure and you make me feel that she mean something to you. Yeshh, i'm jealous. Anything that has got to do with you, I care. Every little thing you do, you say, means a billion to me. Cause it's you. I will not care if it's someone else. If not for you, I won't be like this. Love is selfish. it's true. i'm not someone who allows my boyfriend to get near a girl for no reason. To be nasty, it's flirt. it's just like you don't like me to get near other boys. The logic is the same. You should know why i'm behaving this way. You used to tell me you don't feel secured and cherished because I don't get jealous and never tell you even when I do. Now i'm telling you, I AM JEALOUS! I DON'T LIKE YOU TO GET NEAR TO LYNN OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER! JUST LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO GET NEAR TO MY BOY FRIENDS OR EVEN SPEAK TO THEM. Do I make myself clearer now? Do I have to go to this extent to let you know I don't like certain thing? can't you get hints? You want me to take initiative, Yeshh, i'm doing it now, just for you. But like I told you before, can you please don't take me for granted? Sometimes I need you to pamper me like a little girl, love me like someone you need a lot. Little actions to show me your love for me and i'll feel secured and loved. Dada, this is all I want you to do. This is all I want from you. Let me feel loved, secured and appreciated. Dada, you know how much you mean to me and I told you. If you want me to do something for you, I will do it if I can. Dada, yesterday you told you again you don't feel loved, and now I want to tell you, other than you, there's no one else in my heart. You will be my one and only NOW and FOREVER. If an open confess does not ease your mind still, tell me what I can do to prove to you. i'm willing to do anything to prove to you. Before my injury, I know everything was fine. But please understand my feelings now. I'm feeling sad enough for my injury though i'm trying to be optimistic. Sorry, maybe i'm really sad over this accident but dare not face it bravely yet. Maybe I don't have the courage yet.. Sorry. I hope you can be understanding and do something to make me feel better cause all I need now is you to make me happier person. Okays. Enough of talking to you. I shall blog down another time bahh. I still have other things to say. Love ya always. Muacks.
Actually, other than sadness, I don't know what else to say. Because my mind is not at ease. I feel troubled. Really troubled. And only one person can ease my mind now and he should know it. Haix~ don't know lahh. Feel so sad now. Maybe I should just finish blogging here. Hope my next entry will be a happy one bahh.. :(
02042006
Today back to blogging.. hahas. Like so on now ahh? Hahas. :) Yupps. Today i'm happy!! didn't knew it would be this fast! Just only a day apart. Hahas. :)
Spoke to dada yesterday. And he did something that is so noble! He finally assured me of his feelings for me! He told me that i'm the one he love now and not anyone else. I felt happy and relieved at that moment. Before that, he messaged me and said sorry for making me angry and sad. And he finds that he's unable to make me happy. And asked why I wanna be with him. He says he's a lousy boyfriend. Of course, I got angry and sad because I care. I want him to assure me of his feelings for me. Cause i'm feeling insecure and not loved. But now everything is fine! But my love, I want you to know that the thought of leaving has never cross my mind like what you thought it might happen.. Freedom is a nice word but without you, freedom is nothing. You know? Sometimes I deliberately make you angry or go against you, just to see how much I mean to you. Hahas! Girls throw tantrum sometimes, so my dear, learn to pamper me like a little girl sometimes.. :) Okays? Hahas. I know you want your freedom. Yes you can have it.. But please, know your own limits okays? Like what you once told me, you can do what you want but know your own limits. Err, get what I mean? One thing I wanna tell you horx, can you don't let others think that you're very open towards other girls? If these comments pass to my ears, what do you think I will feel? So, please, behave yourself my love. :/ I'm not saying i'm not behaving like this, I do behaves badly when i'm overjoyed but not anytime, anywhere okays? Hahas. Well, let us both not do it together alrights? Hahas! :) My dear you gotta know this, i'm angry and sad isn't solely your fault. I was brooding over the accident's consequences and the boredom of being at home and not able to skate. Sorry if I made you thought that everything is your fault. It isn't my dear. Okays? :) And please, if your feels that you are not loved at anytime, let me know. Because I wanna assure you of my feelings for you at all times. :) Okays, honey, last few words for you for today. Love you always! Muacks and huggs..
Hahas! Tomorrow is Wilson part one's birthday!!! Any sabotage? Hahas! :) Kekeke. Make his eighteenth birthday a very memorable one lahh! Hahas. Ohh, so sad tomorrow Inline Culture off day. How about Tuesday? Hahas. Err, i'm like talking to myself? Hahas. Unless some IC skaters reads
Blog lahh. Hahas. :) Okays lahh. Enough for today.. Hand pain already.. :( take care to all, especially the most important man in my life!! I can't afford to take it if anything bad happens to you. Love ya always. :) bye bye.. Update soon? Hahas! :)
Today is April fool. Cause it’s 1 April. Yahh. I have not been blogging for a long time. The last time I blogged was about two months ago. After that was lazy to blog. Cause was very involved in skating and most of the time is at east coast. Or at inline culture. :)
Yupps. Today is here cause, I’m bored at home. So came to blog, with one hand! Haix~ how unfortunate can I be? I dislocate and fractured my wrist last Sunday while giving out flyers at east coast. Anyway, I wasn't very pessimistic about the whole accident. I take it, as god wants me to take a good rest before I start skating once more. Haix.. I don't blame anyone for my injury. Anyway, thank you to those who showed miee a lot of care and concern.. *but I want youu to be the one who show miee the MOST concern but youu didn't.. Haix~ * drop this, cause it really saddens miee when I actually recalls myself being told not to skate until I’m fully recovered!!! But something I really want to mention is - i'm finally in Demo Team!! Yeshh! i've been waiting for this moment and it finally came true!!! :) i'm very happy when Steven told me early this week!!! Because of this but at the same time, sad because the one whom I wish to see on my messaging list, my call register did not appear as often as others and instead of cheering miee upp, made miee sad. Haix~
Never mind.. Back here also because I have many entries to post. So is posting them all TODAY!!! :) Some entries were written long ago. It is either I missed out or did not want to post them out first. Those I missed out were the ones I wrote down on a piece of paper then type them out again. Bored yeah? Yahh indeed. Many some of youu finds miee madd but this is miee, think whatever way youu want to. i'm here to blog down my feelings and thoughts, not to blog down sweet stuffs to please any of youu.
Yesterday Maria, Wilson and dada came to visit miee. Due to time constraint, I went to meet them at yishun MRT at 11pm. Then walk around a while. Then they go back. I thought I should be happy seeing them but somehow I know i'm sad. I seriously don't know why. Cause before that I was excitingly expecting them to come. However, when i'm on my way home, I feel sad. Is it because I can't bear to see them leave? Or is it because I really miss skating? Or both? Or.. is it something else on my mind? Haix~ I feel sad, that is all I know. And I wish someone would be here to console me, cheer me upp. :( Definitely, I hope the someone is HIM!
Talked to Maria yesterday, because I was sad. Then she talks to me to cheer up. Thank you baby. At the same time, I was messaging Lynn, telling her my feelings about her etc. and she told me about Steven asked her about Demo Team and said we are in the last two slots. Glad she is finally in Demo too.
After that, I talk to dada, using handphone. *sorry I lied to you* told dada I spoke to Lynn. He seems to be pissed and this makes me feels even worse. Dada, you know by doing this, you didn't make me feel better? But make me get suspicious and wonder why are you reacting like this. I feel so insecure and you make me feel that she mean something to you. Yeshh, i'm jealous. Anything that has got to do with you, I care. Every little thing you do, you say, means a billion to me. Cause it's you. I will not care if it's someone else. If not for you, I won't be like this. Love is selfish. it's true. i'm not someone who allows my boyfriend to get near a girl for no reason. To be nasty, it's flirt. it's just like you don't like me to get near other boys. The logic is the same. You should know why i'm behaving this way. You used to tell me you don't feel secured and cherished because I don't get jealous and never tell you even when I do. Now i'm telling you, I AM JEALOUS! I DON'T LIKE YOU TO GET NEAR TO LYNN OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER! JUST LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO GET NEAR TO MY BOY FRIENDS OR EVEN SPEAK TO THEM. Do I make myself clearer now? Do I have to go to this extent to let you know I don't like certain thing? can't you get hints? You want me to take initiative, Yeshh, i'm doing it now, just for you. But like I told you before, can you please don't take me for granted? Sometimes I need you to pamper me like a little girl, love me like someone you need a lot. Little actions to show me your love for me and i'll feel secured and loved. Dada, this is all I want you to do. This is all I want from you. Let me feel loved, secured and appreciated. Dada, you know how much you mean to me and I told you. If you want me to do something for you, I will do it if I can. Dada, yesterday you told you again you don't feel loved, and now I want to tell you, other than you, there's no one else in my heart. You will be my one and only NOW and FOREVER. If an open confess does not ease your mind still, tell me what I can do to prove to you. i'm willing to do anything to prove to you. Before my injury, I know everything was fine. But please understand my feelings now. I'm feeling sad enough for my injury though i'm trying to be optimistic. Sorry, maybe i'm really sad over this accident but dare not face it bravely yet. Maybe I don't have the courage yet.. Sorry. I hope you can be understanding and do something to make me feel better cause all I need now is you to make me happier person. Okays. Enough of talking to you. I shall blog down another time bahh. I still have other things to say. Love ya always. Muacks.
Actually, other than sadness, I don't know what else to say. Because my mind is not at ease. I feel troubled. Really troubled. And only one person can ease my mind now and he should know it. Haix~ don't know lahh. Feel so sad now. Maybe I should just finish blogging here. Hope my next entry will be a happy one bahh.. :(
02042006
Today back to blogging.. hahas. Like so on now ahh? Hahas. :) Yupps. Today i'm happy!! didn't knew it would be this fast! Just only a day apart. Hahas. :)
Spoke to dada yesterday. And he did something that is so noble! He finally assured me of his feelings for me! He told me that i'm the one he love now and not anyone else. I felt happy and relieved at that moment. Before that, he messaged me and said sorry for making me angry and sad. And he finds that he's unable to make me happy. And asked why I wanna be with him. He says he's a lousy boyfriend. Of course, I got angry and sad because I care. I want him to assure me of his feelings for me. Cause i'm feeling insecure and not loved. But now everything is fine! But my love, I want you to know that the thought of leaving has never cross my mind like what you thought it might happen.. Freedom is a nice word but without you, freedom is nothing. You know? Sometimes I deliberately make you angry or go against you, just to see how much I mean to you. Hahas! Girls throw tantrum sometimes, so my dear, learn to pamper me like a little girl sometimes.. :) Okays? Hahas. I know you want your freedom. Yes you can have it.. But please, know your own limits okays? Like what you once told me, you can do what you want but know your own limits. Err, get what I mean? One thing I wanna tell you horx, can you don't let others think that you're very open towards other girls? If these comments pass to my ears, what do you think I will feel? So, please, behave yourself my love. :/ I'm not saying i'm not behaving like this, I do behaves badly when i'm overjoyed but not anytime, anywhere okays? Hahas. Well, let us both not do it together alrights? Hahas! :) My dear you gotta know this, i'm angry and sad isn't solely your fault. I was brooding over the accident's consequences and the boredom of being at home and not able to skate. Sorry if I made you thought that everything is your fault. It isn't my dear. Okays? :) And please, if your feels that you are not loved at anytime, let me know. Because I wanna assure you of my feelings for you at all times. :) Okays, honey, last few words for you for today. Love you always! Muacks and huggs..
Hahas! Tomorrow is Wilson part one's birthday!!! Any sabotage? Hahas! :) Kekeke. Make his eighteenth birthday a very memorable one lahh! Hahas. Ohh, so sad tomorrow Inline Culture off day. How about Tuesday? Hahas. Err, i'm like talking to myself? Hahas. Unless some IC skaters reads
Blog lahh. Hahas. :) Okays lahh. Enough for today.. Hand pain already.. :( take care to all, especially the most important man in my life!! I can't afford to take it if anything bad happens to you. Love ya always. :) bye bye.. Update soon? Hahas! :)
April's updates
01042006
Today is April fool. Cause it’s 1 April. Yahh. I have not been blogging for a long time. The last time I blogged was about two months ago. After that was lazy to blog. Cause was very involved in skating and most of the time is at east coast. Or at inline culture. :)
Yupps. Today is here cause, I’m bored at home. So came to blog, with one hand! Haix~ how unfortunate can I be? I dislocate and fractured my wrist last Sunday while giving out flyers at east coast. Anyway, I wasn't very pessimistic about the whole accident. I take it, as god wants me to take a good rest before I start skating once more. Haix.. I don't blame anyone for my injury. Anyway, thank you to those who showed miee a lot of care and concern.. *but I want youu to be the one who show miee the MOST concern but youu didn't.. Haix~ * drop this, cause it really saddens miee when I actually recalls myself being told not to skate until I’m fully recovered!!! But something I really want to mention is - i'm finally in Demo Team!! Yeshh! i've been waiting for this moment and it finally came true!!! :) i'm very happy when Steven told me early this week!!! Because of this but at the same time, sad because the one whom I wish to see on my messaging list, my call register did not appear as often as others and instead of cheering miee upp, made miee sad. Haix~
Never mind.. Back here also because I have many entries to post. So is posting them all TODAY!!! :) Some entries were written long ago. It is either I missed out or did not want to post them out first. Those I missed out were the ones I wrote down on a piece of paper then type them out again. Bored yeah? Yahh indeed. Many some of youu finds miee madd but this is miee, think whatever way youu want to. i'm here to blog down my feelings and thoughts, not to blog down sweet stuffs to please any of youu.
Yesterday Maria, Wilson and dada came to visit miee. Due to time constraint, I went to meet them at yishun MRT at 11pm. Then walk around a while. Then they go back. I thought I should be happy seeing them but somehow I know i'm sad. I seriously don't know why. Cause before that I was excitingly expecting them to come. However, when i'm on my way home, I feel sad. Is it because I can't bear to see them leave? Or is it because I really miss skating? Or both? Or.. is it something else on my mind? Haix~ I feel sad, that is all I know. And I wish someone would be here to console me, cheer me upp. :( Definitely, I hope the someone is HIM!
Talked to Maria yesterday, because I was sad. Then she talks to me to cheer up. Thank you baby. At the same time, I was messaging Lynn, telling her my feelings about her etc. and she told me about Steven asked her about Demo Team and said we are in the last two slots. Glad she is finally in Demo too.
After that, I talk to dada, using handphone. *sorry I lied to you* told dada I spoke to Lynn. He seems to be pissed and this makes me feels even worse. Dada, you know by doing this, you didn't make me feel better? But make me get suspicious and wonder why are you reacting like this. I feel so insecure and you make me feel that she mean something to you. Yeshh, i'm jealous. Anything that has got to do with you, I care. Every little thing you do, you say, means a billion to me. Cause it's you. I will not care if it's someone else. If not for you, I won't be like this. Love is selfish. it's true. i'm not someone who allows my boyfriend to get near a girl for no reason. To be nasty, it's flirt. it's just like you don't like me to get near other boys. The logic is the same. You should know why i'm behaving this way. You used to tell me you don't feel secured and cherished because I don't get jealous and never tell you even when I do. Now i'm telling you, I AM JEALOUS! I DON'T LIKE YOU TO GET NEAR TO LYNN OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER! JUST LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO GET NEAR TO MY BOY FRIENDS OR EVEN SPEAK TO THEM. Do I make myself clearer now? Do I have to go to this extent to let you know I don't like certain thing? can't you get hints? You want me to take initiative, Yeshh, i'm doing it now, just for you. But like I told you before, can you please don't take me for granted? Sometimes I need you to pamper me like a little girl, love me like someone you need a lot. Little actions to show me your love for me and i'll feel secured and loved. Dada, this is all I want you to do. This is all I want from you. Let me feel loved, secured and appreciated. Dada, you know how much you mean to me and I told you. If you want me to do something for you, I will do it if I can. Dada, yesterday you told you again you don't feel loved, and now I want to tell you, other than you, there's no one else in my heart. You will be my one and only NOW and FOREVER. If an open confess does not ease your mind still, tell me what I can do to prove to you. i'm willing to do anything to prove to you. Before my injury, I know everything was fine. But please understand my feelings now. I'm feeling sad enough for my injury though i'm trying to be optimistic. Sorry, maybe i'm really sad over this accident but dare not face it bravely yet. Maybe I don't have the courage yet.. Sorry. I hope you can be understanding and do something to make me feel better cause all I need now is you to make me happier person. Okays. Enough of talking to you. I shall blog down another time bahh. I still have other things to say. Love ya always. Muacks.
Actually, other than sadness, I don't know what else to say. Because my mind is not at ease. I feel troubled. Really troubled. And only one person can ease my mind now and he should know it. Haix~ don't know lahh. Feel so sad now. Maybe I should just finish blogging here. Hope my next entry will be a happy one bahh.. :(
02042006
Today back to blogging.. hahas. Like so on now ahh? Hahas. :) Yupps. Today i'm happy!! didn't knew it would be this fast! Just only a day apart. Hahas. :)
Spoke to dada yesterday. And he did something that is so noble! He finally assured me of his feelings for me! He told me that i'm the one he love now and not anyone else. I felt happy and relieved at that moment. Before that, he messaged me and said sorry for making me angry and sad. And he finds that he's unable to make me happy. And asked why I wanna be with him. He says he's a lousy boyfriend. Of course, I got angry and sad because I care. I want him to assure me of his feelings for me. Cause i'm feeling insecure and not loved. But now everything is fine! But my love, I want you to know that the thought of leaving has never cross my mind like what you thought it might happen.. Freedom is a nice word but without you, freedom is nothing. You know? Sometimes I deliberately make you angry or go against you, just to see how much I mean to you. Hahas! Girls throw tantrum sometimes, so my dear, learn to pamper me like a little girl sometimes.. :) Okays? Hahas. I know you want your freedom. Yes you can have it.. But please, know your own limits okays? Like what you once told me, you can do what you want but know your own limits. Err, get what I mean? One thing I wanna tell you horx, can you don't let others think that you're very open towards other girls? If these comments pass to my ears, what do you think I will feel? So, please, behave yourself my love. :/ I'm not saying i'm not behaving like this, I do behaves badly when i'm overjoyed but not anytime, anywhere okays? Hahas. Well, let us both not do it together alrights? Hahas! :) My dear you gotta know this, i'm angry and sad isn't solely your fault. I was brooding over the accident's consequences and the boredom of being at home and not able to skate. Sorry if I made you thought that everything is your fault. It isn't my dear. Okays? :) And please, if your feels that you are not loved at anytime, let me know. Because I wanna assure you of my feelings for you at all times. :) Okays, honey, last few words for you for today. Love you always! Muacks and huggs..
Hahas! Tomorrow is Wilson part one's birthday!!! Any sabotage? Hahas! :) Kekeke. Make his eighteenth birthday a very memorable one lahh! Hahas. Ohh, so sad tomorrow Inline Culture off day. How about Tuesday? Hahas. Err, i'm like talking to myself? Hahas. Unless some IC skaters reads
Blog lahh. Hahas. :) Okays lahh. Enough for today.. Hand pain already.. :( take care to all, especially the most important man in my life!! I can't afford to take it if anything bad happens to you. Love ya always. :) bye bye.. Update soon? Hahas! :)
Today is April fool. Cause it’s 1 April. Yahh. I have not been blogging for a long time. The last time I blogged was about two months ago. After that was lazy to blog. Cause was very involved in skating and most of the time is at east coast. Or at inline culture. :)
Yupps. Today is here cause, I’m bored at home. So came to blog, with one hand! Haix~ how unfortunate can I be? I dislocate and fractured my wrist last Sunday while giving out flyers at east coast. Anyway, I wasn't very pessimistic about the whole accident. I take it, as god wants me to take a good rest before I start skating once more. Haix.. I don't blame anyone for my injury. Anyway, thank you to those who showed miee a lot of care and concern.. *but I want youu to be the one who show miee the MOST concern but youu didn't.. Haix~ * drop this, cause it really saddens miee when I actually recalls myself being told not to skate until I’m fully recovered!!! But something I really want to mention is - i'm finally in Demo Team!! Yeshh! i've been waiting for this moment and it finally came true!!! :) i'm very happy when Steven told me early this week!!! Because of this but at the same time, sad because the one whom I wish to see on my messaging list, my call register did not appear as often as others and instead of cheering miee upp, made miee sad. Haix~
Never mind.. Back here also because I have many entries to post. So is posting them all TODAY!!! :) Some entries were written long ago. It is either I missed out or did not want to post them out first. Those I missed out were the ones I wrote down on a piece of paper then type them out again. Bored yeah? Yahh indeed. Many some of youu finds miee madd but this is miee, think whatever way youu want to. i'm here to blog down my feelings and thoughts, not to blog down sweet stuffs to please any of youu.
Yesterday Maria, Wilson and dada came to visit miee. Due to time constraint, I went to meet them at yishun MRT at 11pm. Then walk around a while. Then they go back. I thought I should be happy seeing them but somehow I know i'm sad. I seriously don't know why. Cause before that I was excitingly expecting them to come. However, when i'm on my way home, I feel sad. Is it because I can't bear to see them leave? Or is it because I really miss skating? Or both? Or.. is it something else on my mind? Haix~ I feel sad, that is all I know. And I wish someone would be here to console me, cheer me upp. :( Definitely, I hope the someone is HIM!
Talked to Maria yesterday, because I was sad. Then she talks to me to cheer up. Thank you baby. At the same time, I was messaging Lynn, telling her my feelings about her etc. and she told me about Steven asked her about Demo Team and said we are in the last two slots. Glad she is finally in Demo too.
After that, I talk to dada, using handphone. *sorry I lied to you* told dada I spoke to Lynn. He seems to be pissed and this makes me feels even worse. Dada, you know by doing this, you didn't make me feel better? But make me get suspicious and wonder why are you reacting like this. I feel so insecure and you make me feel that she mean something to you. Yeshh, i'm jealous. Anything that has got to do with you, I care. Every little thing you do, you say, means a billion to me. Cause it's you. I will not care if it's someone else. If not for you, I won't be like this. Love is selfish. it's true. i'm not someone who allows my boyfriend to get near a girl for no reason. To be nasty, it's flirt. it's just like you don't like me to get near other boys. The logic is the same. You should know why i'm behaving this way. You used to tell me you don't feel secured and cherished because I don't get jealous and never tell you even when I do. Now i'm telling you, I AM JEALOUS! I DON'T LIKE YOU TO GET NEAR TO LYNN OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER! JUST LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO GET NEAR TO MY BOY FRIENDS OR EVEN SPEAK TO THEM. Do I make myself clearer now? Do I have to go to this extent to let you know I don't like certain thing? can't you get hints? You want me to take initiative, Yeshh, i'm doing it now, just for you. But like I told you before, can you please don't take me for granted? Sometimes I need you to pamper me like a little girl, love me like someone you need a lot. Little actions to show me your love for me and i'll feel secured and loved. Dada, this is all I want you to do. This is all I want from you. Let me feel loved, secured and appreciated. Dada, you know how much you mean to me and I told you. If you want me to do something for you, I will do it if I can. Dada, yesterday you told you again you don't feel loved, and now I want to tell you, other than you, there's no one else in my heart. You will be my one and only NOW and FOREVER. If an open confess does not ease your mind still, tell me what I can do to prove to you. i'm willing to do anything to prove to you. Before my injury, I know everything was fine. But please understand my feelings now. I'm feeling sad enough for my injury though i'm trying to be optimistic. Sorry, maybe i'm really sad over this accident but dare not face it bravely yet. Maybe I don't have the courage yet.. Sorry. I hope you can be understanding and do something to make me feel better cause all I need now is you to make me happier person. Okays. Enough of talking to you. I shall blog down another time bahh. I still have other things to say. Love ya always. Muacks.
Actually, other than sadness, I don't know what else to say. Because my mind is not at ease. I feel troubled. Really troubled. And only one person can ease my mind now and he should know it. Haix~ don't know lahh. Feel so sad now. Maybe I should just finish blogging here. Hope my next entry will be a happy one bahh.. :(
02042006
Today back to blogging.. hahas. Like so on now ahh? Hahas. :) Yupps. Today i'm happy!! didn't knew it would be this fast! Just only a day apart. Hahas. :)
Spoke to dada yesterday. And he did something that is so noble! He finally assured me of his feelings for me! He told me that i'm the one he love now and not anyone else. I felt happy and relieved at that moment. Before that, he messaged me and said sorry for making me angry and sad. And he finds that he's unable to make me happy. And asked why I wanna be with him. He says he's a lousy boyfriend. Of course, I got angry and sad because I care. I want him to assure me of his feelings for me. Cause i'm feeling insecure and not loved. But now everything is fine! But my love, I want you to know that the thought of leaving has never cross my mind like what you thought it might happen.. Freedom is a nice word but without you, freedom is nothing. You know? Sometimes I deliberately make you angry or go against you, just to see how much I mean to you. Hahas! Girls throw tantrum sometimes, so my dear, learn to pamper me like a little girl sometimes.. :) Okays? Hahas. I know you want your freedom. Yes you can have it.. But please, know your own limits okays? Like what you once told me, you can do what you want but know your own limits. Err, get what I mean? One thing I wanna tell you horx, can you don't let others think that you're very open towards other girls? If these comments pass to my ears, what do you think I will feel? So, please, behave yourself my love. :/ I'm not saying i'm not behaving like this, I do behaves badly when i'm overjoyed but not anytime, anywhere okays? Hahas. Well, let us both not do it together alrights? Hahas! :) My dear you gotta know this, i'm angry and sad isn't solely your fault. I was brooding over the accident's consequences and the boredom of being at home and not able to skate. Sorry if I made you thought that everything is your fault. It isn't my dear. Okays? :) And please, if your feels that you are not loved at anytime, let me know. Because I wanna assure you of my feelings for you at all times. :) Okays, honey, last few words for you for today. Love you always! Muacks and huggs..
Hahas! Tomorrow is Wilson part one's birthday!!! Any sabotage? Hahas! :) Kekeke. Make his eighteenth birthday a very memorable one lahh! Hahas. Ohh, so sad tomorrow Inline Culture off day. How about Tuesday? Hahas. Err, i'm like talking to myself? Hahas. Unless some IC skaters reads
Blog lahh. Hahas. :) Okays lahh. Enough for today.. Hand pain already.. :( take care to all, especially the most important man in my life!! I can't afford to take it if anything bad happens to you. Love ya always. :) bye bye.. Update soon? Hahas! :)
early this year
09012006
Haix. I'm back lerx. Well, like before. i'm unhappy today. Yupps. Still because of dada. Haix.
My heart seems to be bleeding since that day. I don't wish to write out whatt has happened but, I don't know. I cried again. :( Haix. Anyway, I hope I can pack all my unhappiness upp and carry on my happy life. I don't want to always cry or etc. Haix.
Well, don't know whatt to write lehh. Like very empty in my mind. Could it be because I haven't been blogging? don't know. Haix.
Went back to band for the CCA fair on last Friday. It was such a let down. Haix. So disappointed lohh. The band was less than 35 members! i'm extremely sad. And the marching squad. i'm more or less like, give upp? Haix, anyway, i'm out of band. Should be like, stay away from band stuffs? Maybe I really should. But one thing i'm happy about that day was, i'm back to BDS!!!!!! :) hahas. Nevertheless, my happiness could never cover upp my sadness. Never compare a moment of happiness to the long period of sadness cause this moment of happiness will mean nothing in the end. Haix.
27012006
well, it has been such a long time since I last blogged. Exclude the entry made at darling's house. Yahh. Quite long lerx. Haix. The last entry was saying i'm happy finally. Now, i'm sad again. it's not those sad a while then okiee that type of sad. it's those that we consider as agony. And it might be a very long one.
Recently, I've been crying a lot. Yes. i'm very upset. And the only person who can cause miee to become so sad, I think everyone knows. For him, I drop my tears again. The one and only man in my entire life. Should I let go? I don't know. My heart can't bear to let go of him. I miss him dearly now. Yes, I miss him very much now. it's not just now, but forever. ''There are other better guy waiting for youu, youu don't have to waste your time on him'' so many people told miee this but none I listen to. I love him, everyone who knows miee well knows. I love him with the whole of my heart. However, he doesn't know. why? I need him but I don't know how to tell him face to face. I don't know how to express myself properly, I know. He has been wanting miee to tell him many ''I love you'' personally and not in messages. i'm frighten. i'm really frighten. i'm afraid that the more I tell him, the more I won't be able to take it if he ever choose to leave miee one day.
Haix. Whyy are girls so vulnerable? Whyy? Whyy can't we be stronger when it comes to handling our emotions? Must we always be defeated? Is life so unfair? Haix, Edmond said life is never fair; it depends on how youu are going to make it fair. Well, it's quite true. It all depends on us. However, whatt cann I do so that at least I feel that heaven is a little fair to miee when it comes to relationship? I'm really lost. Very lost. God, cann youu hear miee? aren't youu suppose to save miee from pains? Whyy am I still in pain now? I feel so helpless. So sad. Arghh!!!! :(
Haix, want to write a dedication to him. that's all I'm going to say now. Take care to all. :)
06022006
Hellos. I'm back. Yahh. Haix, so sad. Yesterday quarrel with him. Sobs. Sigh~
it's a long story lahh. Was happily enjoying myself learning slides then the stupid rain came and we have to go to Mac for shelter. Like damn wet blanket lohh. Then wait at Mac until 11 plus. Steven sends miee to eunos mrt station. I took the last train back home. On the way home, Brandon message miee and console miee. Then Maria called because Wilson told her whatt happened. Then she chat with miee a while and I feel better. She called just at the right time when I wanted to look for someone to confide to. Haix. Thanks baby. Youu called just in time. :) Then messaged Wilson to thank him for telling Maria. I was home around 1am.
Just as I open the door then mom scold miee and I was damn pissed and fucked upp lohh. Before that already pissed like hell then when I finally cool down mom give miee problem. Fuck lohh. Like so whatt lohh. She quarrels with dad then vents all her anger on us because dad doesn't want to talk to her. Like, whatt has it have to do with miee!?? Damn angry lahh. Arghh! Today is not my day lohh. Do whatt also against myself. Fuck lahh. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was trying to cool myself down by eating. Eat and eat. Yahh. Haix, feeling so sad lohh. Yahh, whyy isn't luck with miee mann? Have been feeling so lousy. Haix, my god!! Like so terrible lohh. Sobs. Sobs.
Arghh, never mind. Play maple! Hahas. Kills time. Going east coast to meet Maria later! :) take care peoples!
Haix. I'm back lerx. Well, like before. i'm unhappy today. Yupps. Still because of dada. Haix.
My heart seems to be bleeding since that day. I don't wish to write out whatt has happened but, I don't know. I cried again. :( Haix. Anyway, I hope I can pack all my unhappiness upp and carry on my happy life. I don't want to always cry or etc. Haix.
Well, don't know whatt to write lehh. Like very empty in my mind. Could it be because I haven't been blogging? don't know. Haix.
Went back to band for the CCA fair on last Friday. It was such a let down. Haix. So disappointed lohh. The band was less than 35 members! i'm extremely sad. And the marching squad. i'm more or less like, give upp? Haix, anyway, i'm out of band. Should be like, stay away from band stuffs? Maybe I really should. But one thing i'm happy about that day was, i'm back to BDS!!!!!! :) hahas. Nevertheless, my happiness could never cover upp my sadness. Never compare a moment of happiness to the long period of sadness cause this moment of happiness will mean nothing in the end. Haix.
27012006
well, it has been such a long time since I last blogged. Exclude the entry made at darling's house. Yahh. Quite long lerx. Haix. The last entry was saying i'm happy finally. Now, i'm sad again. it's not those sad a while then okiee that type of sad. it's those that we consider as agony. And it might be a very long one.
Recently, I've been crying a lot. Yes. i'm very upset. And the only person who can cause miee to become so sad, I think everyone knows. For him, I drop my tears again. The one and only man in my entire life. Should I let go? I don't know. My heart can't bear to let go of him. I miss him dearly now. Yes, I miss him very much now. it's not just now, but forever. ''There are other better guy waiting for youu, youu don't have to waste your time on him'' so many people told miee this but none I listen to. I love him, everyone who knows miee well knows. I love him with the whole of my heart. However, he doesn't know. why? I need him but I don't know how to tell him face to face. I don't know how to express myself properly, I know. He has been wanting miee to tell him many ''I love you'' personally and not in messages. i'm frighten. i'm really frighten. i'm afraid that the more I tell him, the more I won't be able to take it if he ever choose to leave miee one day.
Haix. Whyy are girls so vulnerable? Whyy? Whyy can't we be stronger when it comes to handling our emotions? Must we always be defeated? Is life so unfair? Haix, Edmond said life is never fair; it depends on how youu are going to make it fair. Well, it's quite true. It all depends on us. However, whatt cann I do so that at least I feel that heaven is a little fair to miee when it comes to relationship? I'm really lost. Very lost. God, cann youu hear miee? aren't youu suppose to save miee from pains? Whyy am I still in pain now? I feel so helpless. So sad. Arghh!!!! :(
Haix, want to write a dedication to him. that's all I'm going to say now. Take care to all. :)
06022006
Hellos. I'm back. Yahh. Haix, so sad. Yesterday quarrel with him. Sobs. Sigh~
it's a long story lahh. Was happily enjoying myself learning slides then the stupid rain came and we have to go to Mac for shelter. Like damn wet blanket lohh. Then wait at Mac until 11 plus. Steven sends miee to eunos mrt station. I took the last train back home. On the way home, Brandon message miee and console miee. Then Maria called because Wilson told her whatt happened. Then she chat with miee a while and I feel better. She called just at the right time when I wanted to look for someone to confide to. Haix. Thanks baby. Youu called just in time. :) Then messaged Wilson to thank him for telling Maria. I was home around 1am.
Just as I open the door then mom scold miee and I was damn pissed and fucked upp lohh. Before that already pissed like hell then when I finally cool down mom give miee problem. Fuck lohh. Like so whatt lohh. She quarrels with dad then vents all her anger on us because dad doesn't want to talk to her. Like, whatt has it have to do with miee!?? Damn angry lahh. Arghh! Today is not my day lohh. Do whatt also against myself. Fuck lahh. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was trying to cool myself down by eating. Eat and eat. Yahh. Haix, feeling so sad lohh. Yahh, whyy isn't luck with miee mann? Have been feeling so lousy. Haix, my god!! Like so terrible lohh. Sobs. Sobs.
Arghh, never mind. Play maple! Hahas. Kills time. Going east coast to meet Maria later! :) take care peoples!
early this year
09012006
Haix. I'm back lerx. Well, like before. i'm unhappy today. Yupps. Still because of dada. Haix.
My heart seems to be bleeding since that day. I don't wish to write out whatt has happened but, I don't know. I cried again. :( Haix. Anyway, I hope I can pack all my unhappiness upp and carry on my happy life. I don't want to always cry or etc. Haix.
Well, don't know whatt to write lehh. Like very empty in my mind. Could it be because I haven't been blogging? don't know. Haix.
Went back to band for the CCA fair on last Friday. It was such a let down. Haix. So disappointed lohh. The band was less than 35 members! i'm extremely sad. And the marching squad. i'm more or less like, give upp? Haix, anyway, i'm out of band. Should be like, stay away from band stuffs? Maybe I really should. But one thing i'm happy about that day was, i'm back to BDS!!!!!! :) hahas. Nevertheless, my happiness could never cover upp my sadness. Never compare a moment of happiness to the long period of sadness cause this moment of happiness will mean nothing in the end. Haix.
27012006
well, it has been such a long time since I last blogged. Exclude the entry made at darling's house. Yahh. Quite long lerx. Haix. The last entry was saying i'm happy finally. Now, i'm sad again. it's not those sad a while then okiee that type of sad. it's those that we consider as agony. And it might be a very long one.
Recently, I've been crying a lot. Yes. i'm very upset. And the only person who can cause miee to become so sad, I think everyone knows. For him, I drop my tears again. The one and only man in my entire life. Should I let go? I don't know. My heart can't bear to let go of him. I miss him dearly now. Yes, I miss him very much now. it's not just now, but forever. ''There are other better guy waiting for youu, youu don't have to waste your time on him'' so many people told miee this but none I listen to. I love him, everyone who knows miee well knows. I love him with the whole of my heart. However, he doesn't know. why? I need him but I don't know how to tell him face to face. I don't know how to express myself properly, I know. He has been wanting miee to tell him many ''I love you'' personally and not in messages. i'm frighten. i'm really frighten. i'm afraid that the more I tell him, the more I won't be able to take it if he ever choose to leave miee one day.
Haix. Whyy are girls so vulnerable? Whyy? Whyy can't we be stronger when it comes to handling our emotions? Must we always be defeated? Is life so unfair? Haix, Edmond said life is never fair; it depends on how youu are going to make it fair. Well, it's quite true. It all depends on us. However, whatt cann I do so that at least I feel that heaven is a little fair to miee when it comes to relationship? I'm really lost. Very lost. God, cann youu hear miee? aren't youu suppose to save miee from pains? Whyy am I still in pain now? I feel so helpless. So sad. Arghh!!!! :(
Haix, want to write a dedication to him. that's all I'm going to say now. Take care to all. :)
06022006
Hellos. I'm back. Yahh. Haix, so sad. Yesterday quarrel with him. Sobs. Sigh~
it's a long story lahh. Was happily enjoying myself learning slides then the stupid rain came and we have to go to Mac for shelter. Like damn wet blanket lohh. Then wait at Mac until 11 plus. Steven sends miee to eunos mrt station. I took the last train back home. On the way home, Brandon message miee and console miee. Then Maria called because Wilson told her whatt happened. Then she chat with miee a while and I feel better. She called just at the right time when I wanted to look for someone to confide to. Haix. Thanks baby. Youu called just in time. :) Then messaged Wilson to thank him for telling Maria. I was home around 1am.
Just as I open the door then mom scold miee and I was damn pissed and fucked upp lohh. Before that already pissed like hell then when I finally cool down mom give miee problem. Fuck lohh. Like so whatt lohh. She quarrels with dad then vents all her anger on us because dad doesn't want to talk to her. Like, whatt has it have to do with miee!?? Damn angry lahh. Arghh! Today is not my day lohh. Do whatt also against myself. Fuck lahh. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was trying to cool myself down by eating. Eat and eat. Yahh. Haix, feeling so sad lohh. Yahh, whyy isn't luck with miee mann? Have been feeling so lousy. Haix, my god!! Like so terrible lohh. Sobs. Sobs.
Arghh, never mind. Play maple! Hahas. Kills time. Going east coast to meet Maria later! :) take care peoples!
Haix. I'm back lerx. Well, like before. i'm unhappy today. Yupps. Still because of dada. Haix.
My heart seems to be bleeding since that day. I don't wish to write out whatt has happened but, I don't know. I cried again. :( Haix. Anyway, I hope I can pack all my unhappiness upp and carry on my happy life. I don't want to always cry or etc. Haix.
Well, don't know whatt to write lehh. Like very empty in my mind. Could it be because I haven't been blogging? don't know. Haix.
Went back to band for the CCA fair on last Friday. It was such a let down. Haix. So disappointed lohh. The band was less than 35 members! i'm extremely sad. And the marching squad. i'm more or less like, give upp? Haix, anyway, i'm out of band. Should be like, stay away from band stuffs? Maybe I really should. But one thing i'm happy about that day was, i'm back to BDS!!!!!! :) hahas. Nevertheless, my happiness could never cover upp my sadness. Never compare a moment of happiness to the long period of sadness cause this moment of happiness will mean nothing in the end. Haix.
27012006
well, it has been such a long time since I last blogged. Exclude the entry made at darling's house. Yahh. Quite long lerx. Haix. The last entry was saying i'm happy finally. Now, i'm sad again. it's not those sad a while then okiee that type of sad. it's those that we consider as agony. And it might be a very long one.
Recently, I've been crying a lot. Yes. i'm very upset. And the only person who can cause miee to become so sad, I think everyone knows. For him, I drop my tears again. The one and only man in my entire life. Should I let go? I don't know. My heart can't bear to let go of him. I miss him dearly now. Yes, I miss him very much now. it's not just now, but forever. ''There are other better guy waiting for youu, youu don't have to waste your time on him'' so many people told miee this but none I listen to. I love him, everyone who knows miee well knows. I love him with the whole of my heart. However, he doesn't know. why? I need him but I don't know how to tell him face to face. I don't know how to express myself properly, I know. He has been wanting miee to tell him many ''I love you'' personally and not in messages. i'm frighten. i'm really frighten. i'm afraid that the more I tell him, the more I won't be able to take it if he ever choose to leave miee one day.
Haix. Whyy are girls so vulnerable? Whyy? Whyy can't we be stronger when it comes to handling our emotions? Must we always be defeated? Is life so unfair? Haix, Edmond said life is never fair; it depends on how youu are going to make it fair. Well, it's quite true. It all depends on us. However, whatt cann I do so that at least I feel that heaven is a little fair to miee when it comes to relationship? I'm really lost. Very lost. God, cann youu hear miee? aren't youu suppose to save miee from pains? Whyy am I still in pain now? I feel so helpless. So sad. Arghh!!!! :(
Haix, want to write a dedication to him. that's all I'm going to say now. Take care to all. :)
06022006
Hellos. I'm back. Yahh. Haix, so sad. Yesterday quarrel with him. Sobs. Sigh~
it's a long story lahh. Was happily enjoying myself learning slides then the stupid rain came and we have to go to Mac for shelter. Like damn wet blanket lohh. Then wait at Mac until 11 plus. Steven sends miee to eunos mrt station. I took the last train back home. On the way home, Brandon message miee and console miee. Then Maria called because Wilson told her whatt happened. Then she chat with miee a while and I feel better. She called just at the right time when I wanted to look for someone to confide to. Haix. Thanks baby. Youu called just in time. :) Then messaged Wilson to thank him for telling Maria. I was home around 1am.
Just as I open the door then mom scold miee and I was damn pissed and fucked upp lohh. Before that already pissed like hell then when I finally cool down mom give miee problem. Fuck lohh. Like so whatt lohh. She quarrels with dad then vents all her anger on us because dad doesn't want to talk to her. Like, whatt has it have to do with miee!?? Damn angry lahh. Arghh! Today is not my day lohh. Do whatt also against myself. Fuck lahh. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was trying to cool myself down by eating. Eat and eat. Yahh. Haix, feeling so sad lohh. Yahh, whyy isn't luck with miee mann? Have been feeling so lousy. Haix, my god!! Like so terrible lohh. Sobs. Sobs.
Arghh, never mind. Play maple! Hahas. Kills time. Going east coast to meet Maria later! :) take care peoples!
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